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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask my DS NOT to be in same nursery class as annoying moms DS ?

71 replies

HalestormRock · 29/04/2015 19:05

For the last few years my DD has been in same class as a child whose mother has 'done my head in' for want of a better expression. In Sept this woman has another child who will be in same nursery class as my DS. Am i being unreasonable to request my DS is put in a different class as there are two classes. This woman has done nothing to me personally but is very loud, overbearing and dominating.
Every single morning without fail she takes up the teachers time whilst parents with genuine things to mention to the teacher wait in a queue to get a word in edgeways. This has happened in every year so far so I cannot see her habits changing. She barks across the playground to her children- God help your eardrums if you happen to be stood near to her.
I feel if I have to put up with this woman for the next few years again I will be in despair! Am I being a bitch or is it reasonable to request the children are kept separate. Several other parents feel this way about her too I hasten to add.

OP posts:
AuntyMag10 · 29/04/2015 19:08

Yabu and shouldn't let your personal feeling interfere in your child's schooling.

laughingcow13 · 29/04/2015 19:15

No.
Class groupings are about the children not the parent's social preferences

lemonyone · 29/04/2015 19:17

I don't see why you can't request it. But don't be annoyed if they ignore your request.

Personally, I would save any requests that might make the school think i'm being a PITA to more important requests. You never know when you may need 'real' help from them.

Marcipex · 29/04/2015 19:19

No harm in asking, especially as half the children won't be in that class.

namechangeafternamechange · 29/04/2015 19:21

Sorry but YABU. WTF has it got to do with the dc being in the same class? It's not like this woman is going to be sat in the room for the whole session is it! And as for your contact it's pretty minimal in the grand scheme of things, 20 mins in the morning, 20 mins in the afternoon.

Just because the mother isn't your kind of person, doesn't mean her dc isn't your dc kind of person.

Original poster
HalestormRock · 29/04/2015 19:21

As there are two classes intakes, and both teachers are excellent, I don't feel asking would be in any way interfering with my childs schooling. The school know both of us very well so I think in all honesty they would understand where I am coming from.

OP posts:
GottaFeeling · 29/04/2015 19:22

No don't do it. The school won't act on your request, you risk being considered even more annoying that "annoying" mum and if you catch the head on a bad day, there's every chance she'll go out of her way to make sure your children are together. You have a 50/50 chance. Leave it at that.

MeggyMooAndTinkerToo · 29/04/2015 19:26

The school know both of us very well so I think in all honesty they would understand where I am coming from.

Can you expand on this? I'm very interested to understand why the school would understand "where you're coming from"?

Marcipex · 29/04/2015 19:27

Seems reasonable, compared to some requests we have had.

Eg. Please ban this other family from the nursery. Because I don't like them and my child was here for a week before I saw them here!!!! (No actual grounds whatsoever)

Please put my child in the year above, he's too clever for his actual year and will be so bored. (Child actually quite delayed in every way and will struggle in his own year )

Original poster
HalestormRock · 29/04/2015 19:27

It is important - her dominance in ANY conversation means the chance to speak to other parents is made awkward and difficult. For example - it has gotten to the stage where her children are not getting invites to parties / playdates because this woman takes over everything with her booming voice and dominating bossy attitude . Thus making those 20 minutes at drop off/collection uncomfortable. I wondered if anyone out there had this too at their schools - surely this is not a unique case?

OP posts:
chocolateyay · 29/04/2015 19:29

Get used to it! There's always (at least) one.

Original poster
HalestormRock · 29/04/2015 19:34

MeggyMoo
This years teacher is clearly intimidated by her and does stand listening to the ridiculous things she says ( example : a 3 minute explanation on how her DD lost a hairband etc - hardly important stiff) however last years teacher would literally turn her back on this woman after a couple of months of being acquainted with her. The year before - teacher took to cutting her off mid sentence. Head openly rolls eyes when this woman approaches - but she has such a thick skin she doesn't notice.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 29/04/2015 19:35

Well if you want to be defined as that parent...

I don't see how it impacts on the hours of schooling when parents aren't on the premises. If she monopolises the teacher's attention and you're unable to communicate effectively deal with it as it happens.

Whiskwarrior · 29/04/2015 19:35

I work in a school and if you do this YOU will be laughed at by the staff, never mind the other parent! And any school worth its salt will not pander to your idea because it's ridiculous.

If she's as bad as you say (and I can believe it) then the teachers will already be well aware of her and her reputation will precede her. I know parents like her both as a parent myself and in my work capacity and they are not viewed well.

But your OP is childish. Suck it up and ignore the woman.

namechangeafternamechange · 29/04/2015 19:39

OP you're starting to sound like a bit of an arse and, if the teachers truly act in the rude manner you describe, the staff sound unprofessional. It's a bit bully-ish if you all join brooms and speak about this woman behind her back.

DocHollywood · 29/04/2015 19:40

But why are you any more special than the other 59 mums?

Cabbagesaregreen · 29/04/2015 19:41

This is why I'm glad I work and avoid the school run and people gossiping. Op, really?

DocHollywood · 29/04/2015 19:41

...58

Original poster
HalestormRock · 29/04/2015 19:45

Whisk
Glad you understand what I mean about her reputation. I am sorry if my comments seem childish - so hard to explain how I feel! I know it is selfish but I feel she has tainted my, and many other parents with children in the class, experience of bonding with other families.
I feel it is very important to know the parents of your childrens' friends and be given room to get to know them . This woman gets herself in the middle of any conversation she sees happening - how can you get to know people when you have one person taking over all the time ?? I am worried I will not make good links with the 'new' parents due to me having to avoid her all the time. Believe me, if you knew this woman you too would try to keep your distance. Struggling to explain myself and coming off as a cow .

OP posts:
Unexpected · 29/04/2015 19:46

I was just about to ask the same thing as DocHollywood? Maybe you're too late and all the other mums have already got their requests in! Not that the school will listen to them - why would they? They already have to divide the classes in a fair manner between older/younger, boy/girl, SN/NT - now they have to take account of the parental preferences as well? What about the parents who prefer one teacher over the other, who specifically want their child to be in the same class as their best friend, who don't want their child to be in the same class as the kid who hits them at nursery - where would it end?

lemonyone · 29/04/2015 19:49

HalestrormRock - I do actually understand what you mean.

If you know that many of you feel this way, have you thought of saying something to her gently? If her own DC are suffering socially from other people not inviting her then perhaps she needs to know, rather than just avoiding her.
BTW - I sound really brave, don't I? I wonder if I'd actually say anything?!

shewept · 29/04/2015 19:50

You do realise there will probably be a parent you don't like along the way, don't you

Ask them. But i wouldn't. Your request of 'can you separate ds and her son because I don't like the mum, because she is annoying' will possibly make you look like the petty one.

Original poster
HalestormRock · 29/04/2015 19:53

I work too Cabbage - which makes the 4 pick ups I am able to do my self even more important to me and the limited time I will get to interact with the parents of my DS's new friends.
I do not think I am more important than anyone else - what is wrong with asking to be able to avoid the situation altogether though?
As for the staff - they are not unprofessional at all - why should they pander to the same parent every single morning - esp when others are waiting to speak to them too ?
Perhaps the issue is everyone is so bloomin polite around her this is why it continues , and will do for the next few years. Hence my original question. Would rather just avoid her altogether.

OP posts:
AGirlCalledBoB · 29/04/2015 19:55

No you can't, I think you will look ridiculous. Oh sorry teacher I know you have a hard job as it is but would you mind putting my ds in a seperate class to the innocent child because I don't like their mother.

There will always be other parents you do not like, just avoid her on the school run or something.

Cassie258 · 29/04/2015 19:55

You sound extremely up yourself and if the teachers really do act like that I'd pull DC out immediately for their lack of professionalism.

Grow a pair

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