AIBU to ask my DS NOT to be in same nursery class as annoying moms DS ?

[HalestormRock]

For the last few years my DD has been in same class as a child whose mother has 'done my head in' for want of a better expression. In Sept this woman has another child who will be in same nursery class as my DS. Am i being unreasonable to request my DS is put in a different class as there are two classes. This woman has done nothing to me personally but is very loud, overbearing and dominating.
Every single morning without fail she takes up the teachers time whilst parents with genuine things to mention to the teacher wait in a queue to get a word in edgeways. This has happened in every year so far so I cannot see her habits changing. She barks across the playground to her children- God help your eardrums if you happen to be stood near to her.
I feel if I have to put up with this woman for the next few years again I will be in despair! Am I being a bitch or is it reasonable to request the children are kept separate. Several other parents feel this way about her too I hasten to add.

You can't just go into the school and ask your child to be put in a separate class from your dc. Just because their mother does your head in
Not a valid reason.

Sick and tired?
Of a primary school parent that has nothing to do with you?
Yes, of course I've met people like her. I have three children who are all now in secondary. There are always these parents.
I just think you are building this woman up to occupy space in your life that is completely unnecessary. Yes, she's loud, she's a pain, she hogs attention. She is also nothing to do with you. So, why the angst? Let it go.

Or invite her out for coffee and buddy up. Then you can occupy her in the playground and let all the other parents have in with the teacher.

Or just minimise your interaction. Organise a rota with another mum so that you don't have to see her on the four days you do. It's just silly that apparently 58 parents are unable to interact with each other because of a gobby woman that by all account spends all her time with the teacher anyway. I just can't imagine, however overbearing she is, 58 parents standing struck dumb, unable to communicate with each other to arrange coffee or play dates, or a drink in the pub later, all because one woman shouts at her kid loudly and hogs attention.

I think you have built her up in your own head to be something more serious than the pita she is.

There will probably an equally annoying new mum in the other yr r class. Someone fresh to the school with their pfb just starting. That will be nice - a bit of a clash of the Titans a few times a week.

But sure, you can ask if ds can remain with his friendship group, of course. It is just as likely that this woman's child will be in the class anyway. Having familiar faces during the transition is not the same thing as ' I don't like that kid's mother'.

They did this for ds. And then the other boys moved after the first term, and he didn't have any friends in his class for the next year and a half, when we moved countries and he started over.

We have one of these women in our volunteers group. No one else can get a word in, but she's the only one who does anything. The rest just um and ah, moan that she's always talking, but then fail spectacularly to come up with the goods when they are asked to get something done (or even volunteer to get something done lol). It's very tiresome to have to listen to the moaning about her, by people who are not contributing anything at all. She rather seems to me to be filling a void, rather than causing the problem. She's definitely a marmite kinda gal, but she doesn't deserve the narrowed eyes and cats bum faces.

I wonder if this is the problem here? It's easier to moan about the woman in question than actually forge relationships with anyone else in the playground? So, her noise is functioning as a convenient diversion to save anyone from getting to know anyone else. Far easier to moan a bit about not being able to bond and then shuffling off home. We know it's all supposed to be coffee and buns and playground buddies, but it's easier not to bother talking to other parents, in all honesty. No chance of getting rejected there. She's a nice scapegoat.

After four years, if you haven't found a kindred spirit to share eye-rolls with, I don't think she's really so much of a problem. There's nothing that makes people bond more than common hatred.

Sorry to take so long to reply.
You have all given me lots to think about.
This morning I actually happened to be walking to school at the same time and point as this woman. Tried to separate myself from my usual approach of speeding off, and let her chat away. If she has any endearing qualities I will try my best to be open to them - maybe I am being too hard on her - so many people on here have said I must be the horrible one - believe me I am placid to the point of being a doormat - I am not the one causing the problems here!
However, I am struggling as she is so difficult to like. I have never been rude to her (even when her child bit, kicked and pushed mine in the past I was never horrible to the mom - it was the child's age) and never will be. Other parents, like myself, are nothing but polite to her - I guess its the whole suffer in silence thing - yes, all kindred spirits in this and eye rolls aplenty, but none of their other children are going to be in future years with hers, only me.

I totally understand why you'd like this to happen.
Don't ask though. It might make you look a little demanding.

I think you have been measured in your responses. So ignore any posters that have you down as "bonkers"

Agreeing with the crowd. Another vote for no.
Do it if you want, but you will Be laughed at, even if it is behind your back and it won't make a difference, at least no school I know would change the classes and planning for a petty 'I don't like her'. It would open the floodgates for all sorts of silly requests.

Besides, you'll still see her around the school. Just ignore her, she'll get the message eventually.

YANBU in the slightest to request the move. Your child hasn't started and isn't settled in a class yet so what harm will it do.
The parents who take up the teacher's time for reports on their precious son or daughter are nightmares. It's like no other child in the class exist. Those parents are also a nightmare on school trips.
If you can do something like a simple swap to the other class then I would. You need to do it now if you are going to.

I am a bit baffled by all the posts saying the school will ignore you, think you're nuts, the teacher/head will think you are the annoying parent.......so what! Who cares what the head - when do you ever spend quality time with the head - or the school thinks on this particular issue?? It really made me smile that people really care what other people/the school think about them so much.

I feel it is very important to know the parents of your childrens' friends and be given room to get to know them

I dont, work FT and never see anyone barely.

also - surely you can do this when she is not around? does she follow you all 24/7!?

I think you ared placing far too much importance on someone you can realistically only see for 10 minutes every day

Think of us poor people that WORK ALL FUCKING DAY A WITH cxxts like this

It's practically impossible to avoid "annoying" other parents, I'm afraid.

Clearly not too many of you have met a person like this.

Oh, yes I have. One in particular, her kid's old enough to walk to school alone, now, but it doesn't stop her from telling her life story to the woman on the post office counter when there's a dozen pensioners waiting behind her on Monday morning.

We have one of these. After year 2 she was basically ousted. Nobody gives her the time of day now.

Threenotfour, the harm it might do is that they might place her ds in a class that they wouldn't have without this interference. So not with his friends for example.

Or, they will think the OP pushy or annoying and when she has something else to discuss with them they might not take her as seriously.

Every class has one of these parents, you can't request your child has special treatment because you don't like another child's mother. Honestly suck it up.

This woman hogs the teachers time EVERY single day. I rarely need to speak myself, but others do and it is frustrating to watch parents who need to get to work etc having to wait

So you are annoyed because she hogs the teacher, but not because you want to speak to them. This will continue to happen regardless of the class your DC is in.

If she annoys you when you are waiting for or dropping off your DC then she will still be on the playground regardless of the classes your DC is in.

Trying to sort out classes is like a wedding seating plan or that puzzle when you need to get the fox, chicken and grain across the river. I can't imagine that your request will be thought about that seriously. I expect the other parents think the same.

I asked for my DS to be separated from 2 boys who has bullied him..Honestly save your requests for when you really need them. I have walked to school slower or faster to avoid people. I have made friends with parents from school but not really on the playground, working on stalls at school fairs, the park after school and when paths cross with our children.

I also agree you are giving this woman too much headspace.

I know where you are coming from OP. One of my DCs was in a class with a child who had a mum like this. Every morning, and every afternoon she would hog the teacher. I didn't often need to talk to the teacher but when I did I couldn't!

And then her other DC started school with my youngest DC and as her eldest had moved to juniors where they go straight into class she started hogging her youngests teacher to talk about her older DC! So not even the child that teacher was teaching! It drove me mad as I did actually have a need to talk to that teacher about my DC - a child she was actually teaching!

Unfortunately though I think though the teachers may agree with you about the parent they may not be able to do much about classes. Will they stay in the same class? My youngest is in a different class now.

The school isn't interested in whether the parents make friends or not, that's irrelevant to their class groups.

I don't understand your comment about wanting your children to make firm friendships, this has nothing to do with parents, they choose their friends themselves and cannot see why you being irritated by the other mum has any bearing on this.

This seems really odd.

Why would the nursery do this for you? How could they, wouldn't it be setting a precedent and also almost like publicly shaming the parent if they made a change because another parent didn't like them?

What would you do if you got your dream job and someone who annoyed you was on the same floor?
If you were on a first class flight beside someone you didn't like?
If your sibling or parent married someone you found irritating?
If one of your children chose a partner you found grating?

Avoiding people you don't like or naturally find irritating and dominating is rarely a goer in life. We all have to accommodate people we don't particularly enjoy sharing our social space. It's life.

I think you are better off being at a school where this woman and her children will never attend. If its not in school, its outside of school. How will you able to stand it for many, many more years?