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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed that my inlaws have bought my husband a playstation

120 replies

dw53 · 28/04/2015 18:45

they see my 2 boys(aged 1 and 3) approx. every 2 months and NEVER bring gifts they turned up at the weekend with a brand new playstation 3 as they think their never gets anything as all his money goes to paying for the house and kids!! I work full time earning the same as my husband and I have recently taken a weekend job to pay for a weekend away to celebrate my 2 sisters' 40th & 50th Birthdays. my parents gave us money for a family holiday for Christmas. my husband cannot see why i'm annoyed

OP posts:

mamapants · 28/04/2015 18:47

I don't understand why you are annoyed either.
You haven't said?

Bowlersarm · 28/04/2015 18:49

I'm not sure why you are annoyed either. I'd like to still be able to buy my DSes presents when they are adults if I would like to.

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 28/04/2015 18:50

When your sons are grown up, will you ask their wives' permission to buy them a present?

What your parents was very nice but it's not obligatory.

Probably not the point but a PS3 plus a game can be bought for less than £140 (maybe even cheaper but that was one of the first I saw when googling). It's not like they're playing Lord and lady Bountiful.

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 28/04/2015 18:52

Also, why would they bring gifts for children age 1 and 3? Better than getting your house cluttered up with stuff.

Bowlersarm · 28/04/2015 18:52

Maybe they think its something the whole family will enjoy at some stage? But I'd be a but cross if my Dh was angry that my mother had bought me a present.

WhoNickedMyName · 28/04/2015 18:53

YABU.

lunar1 · 28/04/2015 18:54

Fuck me I better add it onto the list of things that I'm not allowed to do in future for my sons in case I piss off a DIL.

Bogeyface · 28/04/2015 18:55

I take it that this is not the PS3 as such but that they think that poor wee hubbie gets nothing as his money goes on the house and bills, which of course go further into the implication that you spaff your money on shoes and handbags?

If so then yes I would be bloody pissed off and would have said "Oi! Where's my present?! I pay the bills too!"

msgrinch · 28/04/2015 18:56

yabvu. I can't see why annoyed. If my dh was annoyed my mum brought me a present I'd pull this face and tell him to be quiet.

LokiBear · 28/04/2015 18:56

I get why you are annoyed. I'd be annoyed too. Mostly at the implication that your dh is hard done by because his wages fund family life. It's very much a gift for him and only him, but you are all a family. The only way I would think yabu is if it was a present for his birthday.

CatsCantTwerk · 28/04/2015 18:57

I don't quite understand op?

Hillfog · 28/04/2015 18:57

Use the Playstation to watch Netflix on the telly. Everyone wins!
Seriously, my lovely mum when she was alive was always treating me to bits when she saw something she thought I'd like. It's what (some) parents do!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 28/04/2015 19:00

You could always wind them up and tell them that the PS3 is so old gen, its all about PS4 now.

But I do get you are annoyed. Its not like your boys are of an age they can use it.

TwoOddSocks · 28/04/2015 19:00

I also get why you're annoyed, from what you say their attitude is "poor DH, he's giving away all of his hard earned money" when in reality he's making an equal contribution to the running of his own home.

I think if it was just the present it would be a little strange to buy something so extravagant for DH rather than offer to buy something useful for the entire family but it sounds like it's their "poor DH" attitude that is really bugging you and I don't blame you!

mamapants · 28/04/2015 19:00

I would love it if dp was bought a present like that. Something he couldn't justify spending his own money on because there is always something sensible to pay for.
Equally dp would be happy for me if I got a present that was just for me.

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 28/04/2015 19:01

How awful. A ps3? Too cheap for a ps4?

Seriously though, I can understand being peeved if they never buy you children anything, ever. But totally unreasonable moaning about his parents buying him a present.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 28/04/2015 19:01

I agree with lokibear

it's not fair, yes they can buy their DS a treat for no reason if they want to, but why can't they buy OP one too? Her parents treated the whole family to a holiday - ILs just buy a treat for their poor hardworking son with no thought for the work & money contributed and sacrifices made by their DIL. This was not a few beers, it was a major treat! This would really hurt if I was the OP and could not afford treats just for me. It's almost as bad as the threads where the DH buys himself stuff, or expects to spend £££ on nights out and the OP doesn't get equal priviledges.

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 28/04/2015 19:05

Oh, and a PS3 is a great device for the whole family. It's not just for games, it has a wide range of catch up tv, Netflix, a blu ray player. Not condoning sitting in front of the box all day, but it certainly has excellent family value. Quite a nice treat really.

mamapants · 28/04/2015 19:05

But it isn't the same as it isn't the man who is choosing to spend money on himself rather than the family. His parents have decided to buy their son a presenT.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 28/04/2015 19:07

Oh, and a PS3 is a great device for the whole family

maybe, but it does not alter the fact it was given soley as a gift to DH

Bogeyface · 28/04/2015 19:11

His parents have decided to buy their son a presenT.

Yes mama and the gift comes with the message that their poor hard done to son has to sacrifice every penny to the family and thereby belittles the OPs contribution.

If it had been "We bought this for the family as we know you dont have one and thought you would all like it" then that would have been a whole different kettle of fish and the OP would be a bit silly to be peeved about it.

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 28/04/2015 19:14

I understand that it seems selfish, however I wouldn't be hurt if my partners parents bought him something fancy. In fact, sometimes they do. His parents, their perogative, it's not that mean. A ps3 isn't that expensive these days to be honest, and it can be used by the whole family. I personally don't see an issue (if they never buy the grandchildren anything, that obviously is an issue, but a separate one that needs addressing in my opinion).

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 28/04/2015 19:15

PHANTOMnamechanger

A) because no-one is obliged to buy ANYONE a present
B) her parents can spend their money on what they like. This has no bearing on what his parents spend their money on
C) I can't ever imagine being bitter about a present bought for my husband because I didn't get one too.

worridmum · 28/04/2015 19:17

wow just wow if this was OP being bought a SPA day just for herself and her DP was annoyed at it (they are basicaly same price these days ) people would be saying totally different things

why should DPs parents buy the OP a gift as they are free to spend their money however they please, (ok might be different if you were struggling for money etc where the money would be better spent on food / bills) but i see nothing wrong with parents buying the aduilt offspring gifts if they feel like it

ApocalypseThen · 28/04/2015 19:17

My mam bought me a present last week because she thinks I work hard and it's nice to get a bit of a cheer up when pregnant. It's one of those things - your own parents tend to think about you.

But it would irritate me if someone thought I was working for pin money rather than making half of the household income (which I do).

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