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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that my inlaws have bought my husband a playstation

120 replies

dw53 · 28/04/2015 18:45

they see my 2 boys(aged 1 and 3) approx. every 2 months and NEVER bring gifts they turned up at the weekend with a brand new playstation 3 as they think their never gets anything as all his money goes to paying for the house and kids!! I work full time earning the same as my husband and I have recently taken a weekend job to pay for a weekend away to celebrate my 2 sisters' 40th & 50th Birthdays. my parents gave us money for a family holiday for Christmas. my husband cannot see why i'm annoyed

OP posts:
shewept · 29/04/2015 10:22

Let's see...

PlayStation are addictive....not in the majority of cases.

They aren't for adults.....yes they are, there are games made for adults

He will spend hours playing on them.....not necessarily if he is a grown up and has other things to do....not all husbands are feckless

He should buy her something......Why exactly does he need to provide a gift because he got one? What is she buying him, since she is having a few weekends away?

He doesn't need one.....when have gifts HAVE to be something you need?

CookPassBabtrigde · 29/04/2015 10:24

Grin ollie me too!
OP be happy that your in laws buy him anything, it's lovely. My DP is lucky to get a birthday card off his parents. One year one arrived in the post a few days late with the wrong surname on it!

CatsCantTwerk · 29/04/2015 11:08

My Grandmother (Mother) gave me a car when I passed my test, Should she have given dp a car too? Of course she shouldn't, dp was pleased for me, not envious that I had been given something he had not.

I have 2 sons and I am dreading them getting into a relationship after reading all of the mil/pil hating threads on here, It really is a scary thought that one day I may not even be able to buy them a gift without their wife/girlfriend hating me and giving them a hard time over something I have done.

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 29/04/2015 11:53

catscanttwerk
I have 2 sons...It really is a scary thought that one day I may not even be able to buy them a gift without their wife/girlfriend hating me and giving them a hard time over something I have done.

You'll be fine. so long as you don't ever buy on impulse but enquire first as to what present would be beneficial to the whole family while appropriately acknowledging the contribution of each family member and taking into consideration presents bought by other people. You might even want to draw up a policy first which includes a flow chart. Because what kind of evil dictator would just buy a present for the sake of it?

browneyedgirl86 · 29/04/2015 12:02

Op yabu. I can see your point to a degree but if your in laws want to buy a present for their son, it's their choice.

As for the people saying it's a toy... It's a games console. A game console anyone can play should they want to. If the DH is a gamer then there's no harm in that. It's just a way to relax. If the gift was say a Kindle there would be no criticism of that as a "childish present"

I genuinely don't understand why some women object to games consoles.Confused

JCDenton · 29/04/2015 13:28

I see it from both sexes but more women, given the historic gender split in gaming. It is annoying, though. I used to work opposite a woman who was nutso about films, she would come in every day and talk about the films (plural) she'd watched last night. But she complained bitterly about the 'waste of bloody time' games consoles. I don't get it. The things I like aren't necessarily the things you like, no need for people to shit all over each other's pastimes.

Momagain1 · 29/04/2015 13:36

Your parents bought a family trip, they bought a family toy. no reason it is just for him. There are games you might like and your dcs will also be old enough to play soon enough.

i KNOW game systems can become contentious, but one would probably have entered your home sooner or later. So, set the house rules now, when it is new. Consider it a joint good, just like the TV or bathtub.

Ihatemytoes · 29/04/2015 13:49

YABU. They can buy their son whatever they choose. Same as you can, and probably will continue to do, when they're grown up. Are you going to ask their future partner's permission every time you want to get them a gift? Of course not.

Timri · 29/04/2015 13:56

Winced a bit reading Ptolemys comment, but must admit there were NO lies.

Hakluyt · 29/04/2015 15:25

"You'll be fine. so long as you don't ever buy on impulse but enquire first as to what present would be beneficial to the whole family while appropriately acknowledging the contribution of each family member and taking into consideration presents bought by other people. You might even want to draw up a policy first which includes a flow chart. Because what kind of evil dictator would just buy a present for the sake of it?"

You don't have to do any of that. You just have to ask your dil. Actually, just send her the money, then you won't impose by going round and delivering it. You can see what she bought with it at your next designated visit time

Aridane · 29/04/2015 16:12

it's good to come on threads like this to have a laugh, isn't it, and feel like a paragon of reasonableness in comparison... Blush

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 29/04/2015 16:22

Aridane
it's good to come on threads like this to have a laugh, isn't it, and feel like a paragon of reasonableness in comparison

I never realised how many things there were to be annoyed about laid back I was until I joined here.

ApocalypseThen · 29/04/2015 16:26

You can see what she bought with it at your next designated visit time

Assuming you have a visiting time is a bit presumptuous. It's your next babysitting under strict instruction time.

worridmum · 29/04/2015 16:46

a playstation is not a toy as so much a computer / tv is not a toy the god awful biasism because its a games console must equal a childrens toy is shocking me and alot of my friends (all normal ladies) enjoy playing computer games when able to and its a perfcetly normal and acceptable hobby (if not more so than watch soaps / other tv programs as you actully have to think and do things rather then just zone out watching mostly rubbish spewing from TV)

Hakluyt · 29/04/2015 16:47

Well obviously your designated visit times will coincide with babysitting- in laws can't do things because they happen to want to!

Hakluyt · 29/04/2015 16:48

Gaming is so educational.................

ollieplimsoles · 29/04/2015 16:50

This is a genuine question for the OP (sorry if someone else has asked it)

Do you have previous beef with your in - laws that may be making their gift appear more outrageous than it is?

worridmum · 29/04/2015 16:51

hakluyt more so than the drival present from shows like eastenders ....

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 29/04/2015 19:13

"the god awful biasism because its a games console must equal a childrens toy is shocking me "

It worries me. I've seen that attitude lead to people buying completely inappropriate games for their children because games consoles are for children ergo all the games must be okay for them too.

Timri · 29/04/2015 20:00

Also it's definitely not just a mens hobby, as others have pointed out.
When DS broke the PS by putting pennies in the disc bit, I very nearly cried.

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