to tell my step-daughter that she can't see a beautician on my wedding day?!

[stepmothersknockers]

Am I being a Brideszilla?

Three teen-/ish girls - two mine, one DSD. I am getting married in October. It's very cheap informal - no photographer etc.

The girls are all bridesmaids and asked me for a hair/beauty session in the morning. I thought this was fair enough but have now looked at costs and had some quotes and they are all around 300-500! I was thinking about 70-90 max! (OK, I am clueless)

Anyway there is no way we can afford this, so I said no, we aren't doing that. The girls are gutted but they can look up videos on youtube etc.

But now DSD mum has said she will treat her to a hair and beauty session at a local spa on the morning of the wedding!

What am I supposed to do? Should I put my foot down and say no? It seems so unfair to my girls (and me!!!).

What to do?

Bridesmaid is an honorary tiltle it does not mean they are literally the brides servants for her to order about.

Maybe you weren't a bridesmaid for your stepmum then? Every time I've been a bridesmaid I've stayed over the night before and generally done what I'm told for the morning. Maybe you've had more relaxed brides than me, but I still don't think the op is being unreasonable.

The DSD lives with her stepmother and father so quite possibly they get on reasonably well.

It might be hard to see her Dad spending more time with your daughters than her. Could it be possible that her mother is trying to offer this as a little bit of a consolation and to coax her along to feel more positive about the wedding and look forwards to it a little more?

Exactly.
It must be difficult to see her dad starting a whole new family. To have to celebrate it as well must be doubly hard.
Her mum is obviously trying to cheer her up. She sounds like a good mother.

Support comes in different forms laughing cow. One shouldn't presume but as the DSD lives with the OP full time, it seems that they have a pretty good relationship. From the OP's comments there seems to be a lot of affection between them.

Ordering about doesn't come into it. The bride wishing to get ready with her three daughters seems like a reasonable enough request.

I actually don't think yabu. I also think the mother shouldn't have got involved AT ALL. It's your wedding, not hers. I would have said so if it were my dd. I'm sorry darling, but it does not involve me. "If I pay for you to have hair/makeup and your dss can't then it is like I'm interfering"

Her dad DOESN'T spend 'more time' with my DDs. We both spend more time with her, as she lives with us FT.

It was the children that wanted a 'big wedding' and not just escaping down the register office in our lunch hour.

Get another quote I am in London and didn't cost anything like that!