to tell my step-daughter that she can't see a beautician on my wedding day?!

[stepmothersknockers]

Am I being a Brideszilla?

Three teen-/ish girls - two mine, one DSD. I am getting married in October. It's very cheap informal - no photographer etc.

The girls are all bridesmaids and asked me for a hair/beauty session in the morning. I thought this was fair enough but have now looked at costs and had some quotes and they are all around 300-500! I was thinking about 70-90 max! (OK, I am clueless)

Anyway there is no way we can afford this, so I said no, we aren't doing that. The girls are gutted but they can look up videos on youtube etc.

But now DSD mum has said she will treat her to a hair and beauty session at a local spa on the morning of the wedding!

What am I supposed to do? Should I put my foot down and say no? It seems so unfair to my girls (and me!!!).

What to do?

That's extortionate! My local salon opened 2 hours early just for me on my wedding day. I had 2 stylists doing me, 3 bridesmaids and mother of the bride and that was all done for around £100 (and breakfast for the stylists!)

Yes I will invite DSD too - although I suspect she will want to stick to the 'posh' place but fingers crossed she will want to come with us.

We've been together for four years and lived together for a year - DSD with us full time.

Lol - DSD will upstage ALL of us as she is really beautiful and often teases us (sort of fondly) about it (she is clearly very beautiful and we are rather more ....homely...)

Haven't RTFT so don't know whether this has been already suggested...

You could say no on the basis that you want all bridesmaids to look the same with their hair and makeup?

But I agree with PPs that YAB a bit U by not letting DSD get it done just because you can't afford it for your DDs.

I'm so glad you found a solution op. I've been stuck between dh's ex giving dsd everything she wants and having our dcs make do with what we can afford and it isn't a nice place to be.

You're not being bridezilla or the evil stepmother, you just want your girls and dsd to be treated the same on your wedding day.

Try the local college for some people training for their beauty therapy course.

Do a few tests with them to make sure they are good first.

www.salonguineapig.co.uk

Discounts all over the UK for beauty students needing practice models. You cant tell her step mother she can't really - you will reap the whirlwind forever more if you do with that relationship.

Doesn't your local technical college do discounts , mine does. Or try the ones you called already but call it a 'party makeup' not wedding make up and see if cost goes down??

going against the tide here, but I suspect the dsd mum is shit stirring, she knows it all about bonding and fun the wedding am, not about looking perfect

Glad you found a solution OP

I think that DSD's mum is being a bit mean actually and I'm very surprised at the 'bridezilla' comments on here. Her daughter has gone to her and said "me and my 2 step sisters 2 be want to get our hair & make up done for the wedding. Step-mum 2 be can't afford it for all of us though" and she's offered to take her daughter on her own to be fancied up? No, that's not right in my opinion.

I think that's a lovely gesture by DSD's mum, and should be applauded for the kindness. Had she said something like "Mean cow, not shelling out for you for your own dad's wedding, let's book a spa day together for the day after" then yes, that would be mean. Paying for her daughter to have a lovely day and look great in her dad's wedding photos is not mean at all.

Exwives just can't win on this board, can they?!

Glad you've found a college with insured students, just make sure they're 3rd year degree students and see their work so far before choosing.

Never MAC for a wedding - unless your usual look is very heavy.

10 years in the media, makeup game and I charge £65/125 for bridal and £30/45 for any additionals. £5/10 more than a night out cost but it takes longer, uses different products and I spend time on the run up consulting with the bride, putting together touch up bags - always happy to do a blind bride for party prices but most clients prefer to pay the extra for all the extra recieved.

A tip is also to ask MUAs for 'piece work' ie: "how much to ghd curl my hair?" "how much for a messy pleat?" prices are designed so they cover the average style, if you have a specific request many MUAs are happy to price specifically as they can plan more jobs in that way

OP if you're West Yorkshire im more than happy to come and do shellac nails for you all a day or so before the wedding, free of charge (just provide a cuppa and a biscuit )

Do you have any friends who are good with doing hair, ideally who your girls look up to, who can come and do theirs on the day and spoil them a bit?

One thing I would caution: If you're going to the local college have a dry run with whoever is doing it before the day to see what the results are like. I've gone to colleges for various things and they can be hit and miss as some students are not as good as others. You don't want a 17 year old deciding that your wedding day is a perfect opportunity to try out recreating Nicky Minaj and Lady Gaga's latest looks on you.

What a lovely offer custardismyhamster

It's not about being second best
It's not about anyone needing to go to the beautician
The point of being a bridesmaid is to support the bride
OP put her finger on it, she wants them all to do something together.

That's the point
So OP YANBU to say no, let's all be together.
College sounds totally great

Who the heck do you think you are to tell somebody else's daughter what they can and can't do?
Mindblowing arrogance or what!!!

Usually the bride does get to say what her bridesmaids do on the morning of the wedding so I think its ridiculous to call it "mindblowing arrogance".

You could also call it shit-stirring by the DSD's mum to go to the spa seperately and it is to the Op's credit that she hasn't.

'Usually the bride does get to say what her bridesmaids do on the morning of the wedding '

really? Been a bridesmaid loads of times and just had to turn up at the time I was told to to get ready.Never had a list of Dos and Don'ts as to what I do before then hmm

Bridesmaids normally keep the bride company on the day of a wedding

Step daughter would probably be quite happy to keep her own mother company, but wouldn't necessarily want to do such a 'close' thing for a step mother on her wedding day - to her father.

If she did the whole 'keeping the bride company on the morning thing', she might even feel she was being disloyal to her own mother.
It must already feel weird to her that her father is marrying another woman.
So you can't blame the girl - maybe it's her way of tactfully keeping out of the future stepmother's way on the day.

we don't know the background leading up to the wedding, there might have been a lot of upheavel in this young girl's life - caused by affair/divorce

Even older (grown-up) children can take these things badly.