Choco, I'm not quite sure what you are aiming for here but there's nothing unique about Scottish identity , or any other kind of identity no matter where you happen to live or come from. I think identity is a complex notion & you'll rarely get identical experiences regarding that as its a sense, a feeling, that is particular to the person/individual and their influences/experiences. There may be a collective narrative in certain groups but in terms of what it is that gives the scots or those who live here a sense of identity, that will vary throughout the various regions & differ further between those who were born here, those who have moved here & those who have moved away.
I guess from my perspective it's about the feelings of security, of some sense of knowing what to expect from your surroundings & knowing when that shifts to the point you no longer feel that sense of security/belonging. The limits for that are at the border for me & that puts me in the scottish 1st, british 2nd camp. I honestly can't explain why that is, but I do think that 'Britishness' as a concept is just way too diverse/multi-layered because it's too big for me to get to grips with. I have relatives in Lincoln & one is particularly invested in the history of that region, but listening to him illustrates just how different that part of the country is to where I grew up. It's too far away for me to have any sense of connection to, even though I have close family there. So I guess distance plays its part & the border is a more easily digestible boundary for my sense of belonging than the UK as a whole. That doesn't equate to me feeling negatively about anything/anyone beyond the scottish border, it's just a line drawn historically that means I have an easy point of reference as to where I belong.
Reading the comments of those who had a negative experience during the referendum debates, that feeling of belonging, of being part of this place has shifted slightly, and not in a good way. Whether that's enough to warrant moving on, or to simply leave a sense of uneasiness or being unsettled, only those affected can say. I find that sad & wish it wasn't so, because it's not pleasant to suddenly feel uneasy in your surroundings no matter what the reason. But I do hope that in time things settle down for everyone, no matter how the feel.
My experience of the referendum was a positive one, mainly because I was always interested in politics & the re-engagement of a political process excited me & intrigued me & no matter where the positive/negative comments came from, I can dismiss the sting behind them because I see engagement in the political process as a very good thing. Democracy of late has had a feeling of just going through the motions (and I place the blame for that squarely on blair & his spin politics - something i loathe with a passion) but when people suddenly feel as though their vote has meaning & is worth using, that gives our democracy some legitimacy again. And that's a great thing IMO.
I've no idea if that in any way answers your question or if I've just rambled a load of nonsense but I tend to think that identity is something that varies from person to person & Scottish identity is only unique to those who have a strong connection with this small part of the world in some shape or form. Some don't see the Scottish border as the limit to their identity & that's absolutely fine. I do, in terms of how I view my identity only, & I don't think that makes me small minded, or parochial or any of the other negative connotations bandied about.