To not want DD to have play-dates or attend parties in certain areas due to safety concerns?

[HourOrTwo]

She is 7. Until now she only has playdates with friends whose parents we know well, but now she has a bigger group of friends. Some of these friends live on local council estates. One of these estates has a particularly bad reputation (drug problems, unemployment, high crime rate). When I drove through it recently I noticed kids playing out in street, groups of youths standing around smoking and drinking, big dogs in studded collars roaming around (no muzzles), rubbish everywhere etc. I don't mean to sound judgemental but it's not the sort of place we want DD playing or walking around.

We're happy for DD's friends to come play at ours, and we want her to socialise with children from social different backgrounds... but recently she's been invited on several play-dates on these estates plus a party. So far I've made excuses, as I don't want her playing out unsupervised and TBH don't like her going to houses unless I know the parents and trust them to keep a close eye on her. Even if I chatted to these mums at school gates and they promise to supervise, I don't want her going to houses where anyone is smoking, drinking or teenage siblings are coming in and out with their mates, or any household with a dangerous dog (there are a lot of pitbulls and rottweilers on the estate), but I can't really ask this.

How do we politely decline these play-dates without offending anyone? Is there a way we can have DD's friends at our house without her going to their houses? And what do I tell DD, without mentioning it's because of the area her friends live?

I'm not going to get into a dogs debate on here as MN is heavily prejudiced on this issue. I find that the majority of people who lump all 'big' breeds together have never actually been around dogs.

I actually have a facial scar from a Jack Russell. My rottie, on the other hand, used to cuddle me at night and let me ride him. I'm not saying this is always the case and obviously yes exercise caution with children and dogs but I really resent all breeds getting lumped in the same bag because of a few news stories!

Maybe my estate is just a sink estate and not a rough one.

We have cats roaming about. Big dangerous druggie cats.

Usual yep us too, massive tiger type things.

Caspian ALL dogs can inflict serious damage. But I suppose if they're on a council estate then they'll definitely be free roaming status symbols that are encouraged to be aggressive.

Those tigers in their studded collars are mean fuckers.

and me. the cats are worse than my GSD. always fighting.

We train out free roaming Pit Bulls to attack anyone carrying a Waitrose carrier bag.

There are no dogs roaming free on our estate, plenty of cats though, including my 3

Haha, usual my friend lives on a council estate and was out walking her English Bull Terrier (obv a status symbol) when it got mauled by a cat, and followed home by it! Poor pooch is traumatised, they're proper hard fuckers, them roaming cats!

Friend of mine said all the hipsters are moving into her area they might move into an estate near you be afraid people

cats are cocky little feckers. they have twigged that dogs are on a lead and can't actually chase them so purposely torment the poor pooches

OP out of interest, what do studded collars have to do with anything?

My dog is terrified of the cats round here they are dead hard they patrol the back gardens the birds scatter,

My DS used to have a very nice non council estate dwelling goth mate who wore a studded collar.

I think he roamed free.

It's the unneutered farm cats around here you need to watch out for.

Lived in a village with a 'rough' council estate for over 20 years now. I can say hand in heart that any anti-social or druggie behaviour has come from teenagers living in the private housing.

Apart from worries about picking up terms like serviette or toilet rather than napkin or bathroom your Pfb will be OK

Why don't you just stay?

Yes, why are some people so anti teenagers? The majority of teens I know are polite.

Statistically children of lower socioeconomic groups have a poorer academic outcome. This is unfortunately not my opinion. Google it.

I know/am related to/am friends with, many individuals who have beaten this statistic.

I support activities to help try to change this statistic.

Usualsuspect, I wouldn't mind living near you. I don't know you. I generally get along with most people.

Betty - "will all fail academically" - not something I would ever assume or hope for.

Yes, children are unfortunately abused and neglected in every socioeconomic group. But back to the maths, for example, statistically the kids in my son's class are more likely to have had breakfast. Every kid should be offered breakfast in a 1st world country. No breakfast makes it harder to concentrate at school, on top of everything else the average kid has to deal with.

Also, I had to look after my younger sister sometimes when I was a teen as my mum was regularly in hospital. I also used to babysit for a lot of her friends parents.

betty did you not know? all teens hang around in gangs with their hoodies up and balaclava on drinking and smoking on council estate streets with their vicious snarling dogs straining to get off the lead and attack anyone who dares to walk on the opposite side of the road

(in reality they are just kids and the ones on my estate at least look out for the little ones and don't have dogs at all. they don't drink in the street and some of them may smoke but never around the little ones as they would grass them up )

and I babysat as a teen. easy money

So you are saying that because the children on a council estate may have a poorer academic outcome,then it's ok for the OPs child not to mix with them?

Doo you think she might catch poor or thick?