AIBU to complain about these mothers?!

[Lindsay81]

AIBU to complain at the gym reception about mothers that bring their >6 year old sons into ladies changing rooms, despite there being signs to say this is not acceptable over this age AND family changing rooms being available?

After my workout I shower and change. I don't linger over this or choose to dry my hair completely in the buff (LOL) but nor do I want to cart all my stuff into one of those cubicles. I dry myself and get dressed. This is quite difficult to do with a 10year old boy's eyes nearly popping out his head due to him staring at you. I feel I should in some way keep my towel pinned to my sides with my elbows, while simultaneously attempting to pull my underwear on, resembling some sort of demented T-Rex.

Are you a mother that does this? If so, 1) Know that I detest you and 2) WHY?! Go into the family changing rooms!

AIBU to complain, especially about the ones that do it weekly?

Ok, I wasn't being deliberately offensive. I'm sorry lindsay81.

I was being sarcastic as were you. I'm truly sorry you thought I was suggesting something sick. I was making fun of you saying you would take a picture. Sorry.

Really, your first and only thought would be selfish woman?

Not, maybe all the family rooms are taken, maybe the child cannot be left alone for whatever reason?

Are some people just perpetually pissed off?

There isn't a family changing room at our local pool, so I have to take my almost 7 year old Ds into the ladies changing room with me ( because there is no way he is going into the men's alone at that age ). I do cover his eyes now as we walk in due to him coming face to face with a completely starkers woman a few weeks ago who was drying her hair. I can't really understand women wanting to wander around naked to be honest, and if there was a family changing room I would certainly use it - it's just embarrassing all round.

Similar principal to the thread about male DPs staying in post-natal wards.
imo, the right of women & girls to feel safe in their own spaces trumps the preference of other women to bring male family there.
The alternative would also exclude many BME women, or any women who have suffered abuse, from these spaces.

Thx for the info, Lindsay I often learn from Mumsnet.
I always go to small, well-equipped gyms with good trainers, but not high-end < I'm tight-fisted ! > so no space for cubicles or family areas.

Who are these six year old boys who go to the gym? Are they doing a few runs on the tread mill and pumping iron while Mum does her circuits? Most bizarre.

Some places use the same changing rooms for the gym and the pool.

Oh and lindsay81 I did say a bizillion pages ago that I thought you weren't BU as you thought the boy was 10.

I was just shocked at 6 being the age limit. That's when the photo thing started.

At least if anyone brings in a DS old enough to notice naked women, don't expect them to cover up if they aren't bothered.

It's not really a similar principal at all, considering we are talking about children, not grown men.

Chocolate RTFT - there may be reasons which are not about being selfish.

Ignoring the rules or deciding they just don't apply to you (for whatever reason) is selfish. Just like people who have a 'need' to park close to shops but don't have a blue badge using a disabled parking space are selfish.

Yes - and the girls who feel uncomfortable getting changed in front of them are also, technically, children. But they might feel as uncomfortable in front of another child, as you or I would in front of an adult man.

How is that difficult to understand?

Comparing this situation to accessibility for people with disabilities is really reaching.

I did read the thread. I just think the right to feel safe and have space reserved for females trumps the other rights.
As a middle-aged adult, I'm a happy naturist. From age 5 to about 25, I'd have died of embarassment / point blank refused to get changed in front of boys of any age.

The principle is the same. Rules exist, usually for good reasons. Some people decide the rules don't apply to them, and they don't care how their behaviour affects others. It is selfish.

Women-only spaces are for women and small children only. I don't understand why that is hard for some people to understand.

Including disability? If a child had a physical disability which required him to have physical assistance dressing / undressing, does this make mum selfish for using the women's changing rooms when there are no available alternatives?

Disagreeing is not the same thing as not understanding.

Koala I'd really bet the boy wasn't 10... The reason this strikes a chord with me is that I have a 7 yo boy who looks a lot older than he is and until a year ago used to be very anxious in unfamiliar situations; he still tends that way but fights it and forces himself to deal with things now. Most people meeting him for the first time (including 10 yo boys) think he's about 10, but he's 7 - and the OP detests mothers who bring male children whom She thinks are 10 but may very well be a lot younger into a communal changing room.

Why do the OPS wants trump the mother and child's given the age of 10 is only the OP'S guesstimate as far as anyone knows?

And it's not the same, at all.

You appall me, you seem to genuinely not give a shit that attitudes like yours mean that kids don't have equal access to leisure / developing important life skills as someone else. Because you don't want a child who may be physically about 8 or 9 but developmentally, cognitively, emotionally is about 4 or 5 in the same room as you whilst you change, you genuinely think that your right to have a woman only space is more important than a kid who struggles with every aspect of daily life learning to swim or being able to do normal activities.
I have never felt so disgusted by anything I have read on here.

I always give the benefit of the doubt, but when these boys are 5ft+ I think it's unlikely they're under 8.

The "female" changing rooms I go in are very close to mixed gender. More naked boys running around than women and girls. It seems only adult males use the men's.

Don't be ridiculous. There are family changing rooms available.

Talking about boys of 7 or 8 with special needs is no more "reaching" than trying to make it about pubescent girls who would choose to use an individual cubicle rather than get changed in front of anyone, including adult women. The open area I'd used by those who don't want to use a cubicle or are in groups who have to help each other - like a parent and child.

I was talking about the post comparing this to parking in disabled spaces MrTumbles.

I actually agree with you on this thread. :o

Family changing rooms available usually means there are one or two and zero chance of actually getting into one without a long wait.

Mrs starlord- I've said up thread I could ignore one or two boys.

But last time I was in there were more boys than girls getting changed. Surely they're not all sn.

Also, there are sn girls in there one night a week. Most post-puberty, with little self awareness. I am not comfortable seeing lots of boys of various ages, sitting fully clothed, waiting for siblings, staring at these girls. What about their rights to learn to swim?