to think that children pestering adults for food is bad manners?

[vladthedisorganised]

Have posted about this on another thread but it is annoying me a bit.
DD and I walk home from school past a local park. It's a reasonable walk (we don't have a car) so when I go to collect her from school, I usually bring her something to eat on the way back.

There's a fair amount of children that come up to other parents asking for a snack, as well as their own. This gets awkward when we then see them again in the local park - many have been driven there while we've walked - and I'll be ambushed again by more children as we go past. The parents appear to bring something for their own children to eat, but this doesn't seem sufficient - particularly when other DCs are mooching the food in question.

What gets me is that I'm very firm with DD that she shouldn't be bugging other parents for food; but it is getting hard when she can see that no other parent seems to object to their DCs doing this. (Swapping is OK, though I'm considering curtailing this too) Other parents might possibly insist that their DC says thank you for the unreciprocated snack, but most tell their DCs to 'see if minivlad will share'.

AIBU to think that it's bad manners to pester for food? If I gave every child a snack that asked for one (or two or three or four) then I'd spend a bloody fortune - playdates are already really expensive with DCs demanding snacks all the time during the walk home!

I can't say I've ever had this happen but if the parents are saying that I find it very rude! I'd just say no ive only brought enough for my DC

I personally don't give DD anything between school and tea as I make our evening meal for around 5 due to DS (17 months) getting grumpy and not wanting to eat if I leave it later. During holidays and weekend she usually has a bit of fruit around 10 am then lunch at 12.30/1. This seems to keep her going fairly well.

DixieNormas, very impressed your 3yo can walk that far, will have to work on the stamina here!!

Mrs D I am talking a fair while ago now when it wasn't the norm to feed your children snacks on the way home from school.
I didn't deprive them when everyone else was handing out snacks - no one did it.

Mine didn't seem to need it - they skipped home and when really small had an early tea.

just checked with dd, who is 15,
and her answer to, did you ever get a snack on the way home from school was
"No, why would I?"

you can eat when you get home, it was always more exciting to be running home with your friends and your mum and siblings for company, or walking home chatting to your mum, than snacking.
the finish at 3.10 - it is not that long since they had lunch!
and actually the school would often give them their free fruit at the end of the day.

Mine had an early tea when little - I would eat later with DH when they were in bed in blissful peace and quiet

As they got older they would have an after school snack at home - crumpets or cheese and biscuits and then eat with us later.

I just didn't give them food on pick up.

Do you know which parents are sending the kids over to you to see if your DC will share? Send them back.

"Rosie's mum has chocolate biscuits in her bag"
"Bobby's mum has crisps"

not smug.
aghast at some parents who would bring chocolate bars up to school for the walk home

No one is being smug !
Just baffled as to why DC are now begging food from other people !?

I wouldnt even have given them a snack before swimming - so shoot me, if the swimming was immediately after school

just didnt occur to me

Yay!!!At last !I am part of a crowd for the first time in my life!!!

It's not really baffling is it Rita.

Most kids like something to munch on in the park after school. If you are one of the tight parents who won't even stretch to a satsuma just in case little Tarquinius gains five stone over night, then there's a fair chance your child will be bothering other children and their parents for food instead.

The thing I don't understand, is why can't kids have snacks after the walk rather than during it? Why does a child 'need' an apple in order to be able to walk home? What happens if mum forgets the apple one day, will child refuse to walk or want to be carried? Will child whinge and moan at having to walk without an apple?

I'm not against a snack after school on occasion, eg if child is genuinely exhausted or unwell or missed lunch for some reason. But I disagree with it being a 'need'.... it sounds more like parents are using it to keep child quiet, calm and distracted on way home.

I love walking home with my DSC. We chat, giggle, look at things around us, sometimes they run or skip ahead, collect leaves etc as we walk through park. If they were focused on eating they would miss out on so much. I also wouldn't want them to run or talk whilst eating in case they choked. If on occasion they 'needed' a snack we'd find a bench or a wall to sit on. I was always taught not to eat on the run and feel this a good thing to pass onto kids.

I'm 42 and always had a snack on the way home. Obviously my mother was way ahead of the times. She's 83 now, I can't wait to tell her what a trailblazer she was

Oh and we NEVER had an early tea. Dinner was a family meal that waited until Dad was home from work - he'd have been gutted if we didn't eat with him.

I always bring a snack for DS after school - a hot cross bun, piece of fruit, homemade cake, small sandwich. He doesn't eat much lunch and is always starving and consequently grumpy as soon as he gets out. He wouldn't last the mile walk home without something small. But I only ever bring food for him and his brother. He's not allowed to ask for it till we've cleared the playground and are out of sight of the school.

I've never been asked for food by other children and both DS have been taught not to ask for or accept food due to allergies. So the phenomenon is a new one on me!

Most kids like something to munch on in the park after school. If you are one of the tight parents who won't even stretch to a satsuma just in case little Tarquinius gains five stone over night, then there's a fair chance your child will be bothering other children and their parents for food instead.

not serious surely?
why should they scrounge, they are not animals

I used to have this problem!

Ended up just taking an entire packet of biscuits to school dumbass that I am

Then I figured out bringing a single sandwich or a banana solved the problem. Though I still got some kids begging me a sandwich then! But I was firm and said: ask your own mum/dad.

Idea?

If your child has low blood sugar, they will need a snack. Most small children will benefit also.
Most parents allow for that.
I live spitting distance from the school, so don't need to bother.
When we arrive home though, my daughter (6) hoovers her afternoon tea bits.
At our school we share space with the local park (village)-you should see the grand picnics that are laid out!

When my kids were at primary school, I gave them enough for lunch that they weren't so hungry that they couldn't wait till they got home before eating again. How difficult can it be?

And yes, after a pathetic school lunch at 12 (have you ever seen how tiny those lunches are?!) my kids are starving by 4. So a sandwich or roll is in order.