To be uncomfortable that my heterosexual friend is volunteering for lgbt kids charity?

[travellingbird]

My friend has to be the most conscientious person. She is exceptionally engaged with social issues and currently works in a lefty cause (climate change). She told me she was about to start with a work-approved charity for LGBT young people in schools. The aim is to go into schools and address homophobia and gender stereotypes etc. She is hetero and cis. I'm gay, and she has been one of my closest friends even before I came out at 15. She has witnessed and supported me through my battles with homophobic parents. Our mutual best friend is also gay and identifies as agender.
She is well aware of her privilege (in a good way) and has aired her concerns about not being quite right for it, yet is proceeding.

So, am I unreasonable to be uncomfortable with her taking this role? Should I just be happy she is er, "helping us" and being a wonderful ally?

I'm gay and really struggled to come to terms with my sexuality as a teenager. One of the things that made it very difficult for me to accept myself was the concern that I'd be rejected by most ie straight people. If a straight person came into my school to talk about homophobia it would have sent a powerful message to me, that there are plenty of straight people who are accepting. I think you should be very supportive and proud of your friend, she's doing a fantastic thing.

Yanbu op. Mumsnet I've found is very understanding of race issues in general, and sexism but when it comes to lgbt issues there's some awful misunderstanding.
As lgbt people are a small minority it is about having a representative of those people speaking to you are explaining the personal experience of how homophobia impacts as we grow up. If you have never experienced that you cannot completely understand it and represent it. This is completely different to volunteering to help homeless people or training to be a midwife this is directly about explaining the experiences of lgbt people growing up. She should help with the organisation sure but this particular role is not in her remit.
And obviously there is privilege in being staring and cis. You don't automatically experience societal ingrained prejudices. Same with being male, white or wealthy.
Yadnbu op and many posters here have simply shown their ignorance and privilege.

You don't have to die to be a funeral director.

What is wrong with the term cis?
It simply means you gender identify with your biological sex. It's a useful term.
Although let me guess you'd prefer 'not trans' as why should you have a label when your 'normal'?

I'd prefer not to have to define myself in terms of my biology at all , thanks.

I'm a woman. That's it .

But OP I am still confused as to how you can possibly KNOW your friend isn't LGBT? You do realise there are still many many people who aren't out surely?

In the sense that cis is a nonsense term and that if you want to slap it on yourself that's your business, but please don't be so presumptuous as to slap it on anyone else without their permission, Buxhoe.

Do you mind Annie?

I'd already said that I didn't like it (and why).

What is wrong with the term cis? It simply means you gender identify with your biological sex. It's a useful term.

I don't have a gender identity that I'm aware of and I do not like how the term 'cis' has been imposed on me and on others.

I don't have a gender identity that I'm aware of and I do not like how the term 'cis' has been imposed on me and on others.

Absolutely.

I also find the term "cis"exceptionally derogatory, goady and offensive.

( I'm a chemist, so understand what it really means)

Yes Charis, and gay used to mean happy before all those homosexuals started using it.

"I'm offended by the term cis" is the new "I'm not racist but..." It's the majority wanting to be 'normal' while labelling the minority, and a great way for people to tag their posts as not worth reading.

What is wrong with the term cis? It simply means you gender identify with your biological sex. It's a useful term.

It's deployed in a 'check your privelege' way. The notion that there is (yet) much societal or cultural privelege in being born a woman is distinctly dubious.

It is also deployed in a 'there are two types of women' way and used strategically to distance the core experiences of menstruation, pregnancy and childbirth from fundamental definitions of womanhood.

I just can't see the use 'cis-woman' as compatible with any feminist agenda I recognise.

Rubbish, Tiggyd. It is exceptionally offensive. if anyone in RL called me that I would be reporting them.

Tiggy don't you think everybody has the right to self-define? (And not to accept an 'othering' label)

It's like you grow up endlessly defined Nd redefined: princess, tomboy, slut , prude, career woman, housewife, mum, wife etc and now ' cis'

I'd like to just be me

Do you define some people as trans-women or let them define themselves as just women?

Cis is bandied about in a negative way and imposed on people who do not agree that they fit its definition.

I do not accept that I am cis because I do not accept that I have a gender identity. Because I am not trans, some people will insist I am cis. That is not right.

I would define a transwoman as a transwoman

So is 'trans' hobnong. Either use both terms or neither.

I was using trans and cis in that post to explain my point. I was not calling anyone trans. I don't routinely go round telling people they are trans Tiggy. Online discussions I have been told I am cis. I'm explaining why I am not.

The thing is, a transwoman is not a woman, they are a transwoman, that is different. You cannot pretend the two are the same on any level.

The only trans people I have as friends (online not irl) say themselves that they are a transwoman or a transman. They do not call me cis.