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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to phone the police?

137 replies

itsallawry · 18/04/2015 14:03

My dsis phone at about 8:30am from a payphone crying and asking for money. I said yes she can borrow some and she said she would come to my house for it straight away. She hasn't turn up Sad I've tried phoning her kids mobile phones but they are all switched off and her landline has been smashed up.
I'm worried her partner has done something to her ( I have another thread about her abusive partner on here). When she phoned she was crying talking about killing herself and told me he had been violent again these past few days including this morning.

WIBU to phone the police to check on her? Would they do that? I don't want to waste police time.

OP posts:
123upthere · 18/04/2015 14:49

It's now nearly 3pm I'd have been over there at 9am or sooner tbh sorry but that's just me if it was my sister. I hope everything is ok OP.

UncleT · 18/04/2015 14:58

Screw non-emergency, that's ridiculous advice. If you have an immediate and serious concern that she may be hurt it IS an emergency. Call the Police.

NerrSnerr · 18/04/2015 14:59

I would go round OP. 15 minutes is nothing and that's quicker than the police would be.

Original poster
itsallawry · 18/04/2015 15:06

I can't go round. I don't want to put my toddler in harms way (there is no one I can leave her with). I don't feel guilty for putting my child first.
I'm going to phone 101 now.

OP posts:
GammonAndEgg · 18/04/2015 15:09

I hope to god she's ok

Lweji · 18/04/2015 15:09

TBH, although I do understand why you don't want to go around with a toddler, not sure why you have waited this long to call.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 18/04/2015 15:09

Phone 999. 101 will send out police anyway

MagicMojito · 18/04/2015 15:10

Id go check on her and I also agree that it was an emergency. A women crying down the phone terrified, as a result of violence is most definitely worth a phone call to police!

Awful situation. You must be worried dick. Call the police.

Flowers for your dsis.

MagicMojito · 18/04/2015 15:12

Xpost with you OP

I missed that you had your child with you. Your doing the right thing.

sockmatcher · 18/04/2015 15:12

definitely call. Why have you waited so long?

123upthere · 18/04/2015 15:21

I wouldn't have pissed around waiting for a thousand mumsnetters to advise you sorry, but your instinct was calling on you to act at 8.30 this morning and still you're here because you couldn't leave your toddler with someone? I'd have got there, with toddler and let her neighbours know or anyone nearby to come inside with you to check your SISTER was ok. I don't know how I think this way but this is how I think. I really do hope she's ok after all this time.

Fanfeckintastic · 18/04/2015 15:21

Please call the police OP

WowserBowser · 18/04/2015 15:26

I find it really sad that she's in such a fucking awful relationship with such a utter bastard, that it hasn't seemed like enough of a big deal to do anything about it yet.

Gruntfuttock · 18/04/2015 15:41

I can't understand you waiting all this time before calling the police. You should've done that this morning.

Gruntfuttock · 18/04/2015 15:43

Sorry, I meant to add that I hope your sister is all right. She needs the help of Women's Aid a.s.a.p.

WowserBowser · 18/04/2015 16:37

I've just read your other thread. How utterly horrific.

I hope everything is ok Thanks

DragonsCanHop · 18/04/2015 16:49

I hope everything is ok.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 18/04/2015 17:36

Hope all is well OP, please update us. And please support your sis and encourage her to get this man out of her life.

Original poster
itsallawry · 18/04/2015 18:15

She is OK (ish). Walked through my door about 30 mins after I phoned 101.
I know some people think its awful that I left it so long until phoning but you have to understand that its not unusual for her to phone me in such a state, I've gotten so used to it that its difficult to judge what I should do. That's why I asked on here because I really didn't know if I was overreacting. I panicked because I couldn't get in touch with her.
I wasn't prepared to go to her house with my toddler. That could have been quite dangerous and no, the neighbors were not likely to assist. He has attacked her several times in the middle of the street and no one has even phoned the police so I doubt they would help.

OP posts:
BIWI · 18/04/2015 18:17

I'm glad she's OK. But what happened?

Is she prepared to report it?

What will happen now you've called 101?

ImperialBlether · 18/04/2015 18:19

She doesn't live with him, does she? Does she have the strength to get a restraining order out on him? Would she talk to Women's Aid?

notapizzaeater · 18/04/2015 18:20

Glad she's ok, but now you need a plan of action so she doesn't go back :-( I've read the earlier thread and she def needs to get out before he kills her.

123upthere · 18/04/2015 18:35

Oh OP i hope you're ok it must be quite traumatic for you as her sister. Sorry for my earlier posts but I was anxious that someone would come to her aid? It sounds like you really think it could be a case of cry wolf every time, can you help her this weekend to get help for the longterm? This can't keep happening, as Notapizzaeater says, get her out before he kills her. This is serious.

Justusemyname · 18/04/2015 18:37

Seems it is time to put an end to this drama.

Original poster
itsallawry · 18/04/2015 18:41

It turns out that she had gone to visit one of her friends and lost track of time.
She was crying when she was here, telling me what he has been doing. He tried to suffocate her yesterday and beat her a bit. I phoned the police back whilst she was here, she confirmed to them that she is OK, they offered to come round and have a talk with her but she refused. I talked with her about contacting women's aid but she didn't think they can help her. I showed her some support groups but she doesn't want to go to them. It turns out that children's services have recently been working with her but closed the case last week (again). I don't think she wants help at the moment.

OP posts: