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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get so angry about the no compromise attitude of my kids headmistress

526 replies

twinsplus1sfb · 17/04/2015 09:19

Arghhhhh - need to vent.
Situation - I have 3 kids (2 in Yr2, 1 in yr 4). They have never been abroad experienced an aeroplane different culture etc etc.
Their grandad has booked an expensive family holiday abroad, unfortunately he got mixed up with the dates and booked it for the week before half term.
I put a holiday form in and got a phone call from the school - apparently that is SATs week for my twins.
We have looked into changing the dates - no can do.
So - and here's where I get angry - I went to the head and told her the situation and asked her if there was any way we could work together around this, could the kids stay late after school one day or come in at the weekend before the SATS or come in in the half term after SATS.
I just got a flat NO to every option I suggested - she said it would affect their grades, and their whole school career. I asked if there was anything I could do - and she said "Cancel the holiday, oh and there will be a fine"
I understand that taking them out is not acceptable - but come on school - can we not compromise??? Help a little??? I dont even mind paying the fine, I'm just so upset that she cant even work with me on them taking their SATS on a different day or different time - is it really that strict? Would all of the headmistresses out there say that?
My kids have 100% attendance, they have never missed any school for holiday reasons ever before - its so peed off - and its going to ruin my holiday. Any advice? Any body had nice experiences with their heads? Is there anything I can do so that my kids can take their SATS?

OP posts:
StaceyAndTracey · 17/04/2015 18:50

Move to Scotland, where there are no SATS and no fines . And no university fees.

Simple

Will save you a fortune with your three kids

fourteen · 17/04/2015 18:55

The SATS are not vital. Miss them, pay the fine and go on holiday.

I say that as a year two teacher.

Starlightbright1 · 17/04/2015 19:04

I was never even aware of when my DS took his sats last year in year 2.

I think you are unreasonable to ask her to authorise holiday , expect staff to work holidays and weekend to montior Sats but take the holiday if you want to and let them sort it out but don't expect to win favorite parent award

AmIthatHot · 17/04/2015 19:05

YABVU to be so angry.

I agree with the majority of posters.

Go on holiday, but don't expect everyone else to bend over backwards to accommodate it

Beloved72 · 17/04/2015 19:07

I'm astonished at the mealy mouthed responses on this thread.

What's the worst that can happen if children are out of school for a week?

Really?

What vital learning are they going to miss?

How big an ask is it if we're talking about a child missing sitting an exam paper for them to do it in lunch time when they return from half term?

Hmm
Bluestocking · 17/04/2015 19:08

Beloved72, do you know what "mealy mouthed" means?

Beloved72 · 17/04/2015 19:11

"Go on holiday, but don't expect everyone else to bend over backwards to accommodate it"

Yes - tell your children that they're going to miss out on an amazing experience possibly the most exciting of their lives so far, and that they may not get a chance to do again for years. Do it in front of their teacher. Tell them they can't go because the teacher doesn't want to have get them to sit down during their lunch hour when they get back and do an exam paper, because, you know, the teacher has better things to do like photocopying, record keeping etc, and not interfering with that is VASTLY more important than her pupils having an amazing mind-expanding experience.

Mehitabel6 · 17/04/2015 19:13

So staff miss their lunch time because you choose to go on holiday?. Seriously? Hmm

Beloved72 · 17/04/2015 19:14

"Beloved72, do you know what "mealy mouthed" means?"

Errr, obviously not. End of a long day, knackered, just put down the first expression that came to mind.

I think what I meant was 'mean spirited'. Clenched. Self-righteous. Jobs worthy about a job that's not theirs.

I don't home educate, but this thread, the responses on it, remind me about the pitfalls of educating children on an industrial scale.

Mehitabel6 · 17/04/2015 19:15

I really don't think you understand the situation Beloved . The Head and teachers are not free to follow - they follow the rules- they have to.

Sirzy · 17/04/2015 19:15

Yes coz that admin work is so unimportant. Don't worry I won't mind if DS care plan/IEP/ application for statutory assessment get pushed to one side so that someone can have their holiday and not miss anything at school! It's fine Hmm

The class won't mind at all having no resources ready for the next lesson - obviously it's fine!

Beloved72 · 17/04/2015 19:16

"So staff miss their lunch time because you choose to go on holiday?. Seriously?"

Stop over-egging it.

Teachers very often sit working while eating their lunch in their classrooms. Why can't a child sit in there with them and complete a test paper? They're happy enough to keep children in at lunch catching up with homework. What's the difference?

Mehitabel6 · 17/04/2015 19:16

Sorry - Head and teachers not free to follow their own views they have to comply with LEA rules as given by the government.

Mehitabel6 · 17/04/2015 19:17

If you don't know the difference I am not going to tell you as you will not take any account of it.

Sirzy · 17/04/2015 19:18

And when do the children get to eat? And play?

Beloved72 · 17/04/2015 19:18

"Yes coz that admin work is so unimportant. Don't worry I won't mind if DS care plan/IEP/ application for statutory assessment get pushed to one side so that someone can have their holiday and not miss anything at school! It's fine"

Again - exaggeration. Nobody is suggesting that a member of staff put all their admin aside for a month to teach a child who's been absent during their lunch break.

Children are regularly kept in to work in classrooms over lunch. It happens all the time. Teachers and TA's seem to be able to cope with this while still getting their admin done. Why not a child who's catching up with a test?

Mehitabel6 · 17/04/2015 19:19

And they are not 'happy enough' keeping in to do homework!
They would have to be silent for a start if a test- not feasible when they have 101 things to do in a lunchtime.

Sirzy · 17/04/2015 19:20

Keeping a child in at lunch is generally 10 mins at the most. Doing a test isn't.

I suggest you go and spend a day in a school then maybe you can see that they don't have lots of time just sitting around.

Beloved72 · 17/04/2015 19:20

"If you don't know the difference I am not going to tell you as you will not take any account of it."

I'm reasonable, if you explain how, in practice it takes up much more of a teacher's time, attention and energy to supervise a child taking a test paper than it does to support a child catching up with a piece of homework they may be struggling with, I'll take it on board.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 17/04/2015 19:22

"An amazing mind-expanding experience" - an expensive foreign holiday with Grandpa.

Yeah right.

Such snobbery about holidays on this thread as if life changing experiences can only be achieved in a seaside resort next to an ocean. Life expanding experiences can happen in the laundrette down the road or exploring with their friends at the park. The idea that horse riding in Portuguese mountains or bungee jumping in New Zealand (ie a typical touristy day trips) are morally and spiritually valuable is pure snootiness. Imagine if someone on this thread said I must take my DC out of school as go karting in Margate is necessary to broaden their minds.

Also if they are amazing life expanding experiences then they still will be if booked in the summer holidays.

Mehitabel6 · 17/04/2015 19:23

As a teacher I chose to work through lunchtime - that is different. Teachers were taken off lunchtime duties decades ago and they do not have to work.
I would not give up my lunch break because someone wanted a cheap holiday!

spanieleyes · 17/04/2015 19:23

Because if they are supervising a test, they can't help the child with a piece of homework, which means the child continues to struggle or it has to be done some other time!!

Sirzy · 17/04/2015 19:24

I agree tondalyo. My mind expanding experinces as a child were camping holidays in the UK. It was all my parents could afford and I learnt so much more than you so sat on a beach in Spain

Mehitabel6 · 17/04/2015 19:25

Right - I have told you, Beloved. A teacher doesn't have to work lunch times and I wouldn't. TAs get paid for the hours they do - and. It for lunch. Keeping in for homework wouldn't be more than 10mins- children need a break.

Floggingmolly · 17/04/2015 19:26

The majority of holidays are neither amazing or mind expanding, Beloved.
Two weeks on the beach at Torremolinos hardly qualifies, and op hasn't claimed it was any more groundbreaking than that, has she?
"Expensive" is completely relative.