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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get so angry about the no compromise attitude of my kids headmistress

526 replies

twinsplus1sfb · 17/04/2015 09:19

Arghhhhh - need to vent.
Situation - I have 3 kids (2 in Yr2, 1 in yr 4). They have never been abroad experienced an aeroplane different culture etc etc.
Their grandad has booked an expensive family holiday abroad, unfortunately he got mixed up with the dates and booked it for the week before half term.
I put a holiday form in and got a phone call from the school - apparently that is SATs week for my twins.
We have looked into changing the dates - no can do.
So - and here's where I get angry - I went to the head and told her the situation and asked her if there was any way we could work together around this, could the kids stay late after school one day or come in at the weekend before the SATS or come in in the half term after SATS.
I just got a flat NO to every option I suggested - she said it would affect their grades, and their whole school career. I asked if there was anything I could do - and she said "Cancel the holiday, oh and there will be a fine"
I understand that taking them out is not acceptable - but come on school - can we not compromise??? Help a little??? I dont even mind paying the fine, I'm just so upset that she cant even work with me on them taking their SATS on a different day or different time - is it really that strict? Would all of the headmistresses out there say that?
My kids have 100% attendance, they have never missed any school for holiday reasons ever before - its so peed off - and its going to ruin my holiday. Any advice? Any body had nice experiences with their heads? Is there anything I can do so that my kids can take their SATS?

OP posts:
lastlines · 17/04/2015 17:07

No point being upset by the Head. She's just doing her job. But I'd probably take the holiday.

Sats, hmm, as GirlfromIpanema said, a lot of secondaries ignore them and do their own tests on arrival at senior school. I don't think the Head is being unreasonable, but I do think there's way too much tick box, one size fits all office mentality in educational these days. The experience of going abroad with an elderly relative is a far richer experience than wading through a few tests in Yr2 and Yr4.

But the fine might be hefty.

TheRealMaryMillington · 17/04/2015 17:08

I would look at them not being there for their SATs as a positive bonus.

But you can't expect the HT to be happy about it. The school will either have to sort out a retake when they return or they will get a default average grade which will mess with their performance indicators. It will have zero effect on your kids future schooling.

So its a bit tight on the school, but hey-ho (have had a volte-face on previous disapproval of hols in term time. life's too short)

TheRealMaryMillington · 17/04/2015 17:10

there are no SATs in year 4. Just year 2 and year 6.

As I understand it, fine is £60 per period of absence (i.e. incidence, not session) per kid, (and be per parent too) so could be £360. If the local authority choose to enforce it. Not the HT's call.

grannytomine · 17/04/2015 17:13

Possiblestudentteacher, have you got a chip on your shoulder? I have no idea what time primary school teachers leave school, I don't know any but as I do know teachers who do stay till six, i.e. my own two, it doesn't strike me that doing the SATs after school would be a huge problem. You have confirmed that you are there till 5.30 so the people who are saying why should teachers stay late now know that teachers do stay late. Hope you understand that but judging by your post I am not holding my breath.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 17/04/2015 17:15

But granny, they stay late because they have work to do, not in case a child needs some out of hours help! The issue isn't whether they are there, it's whether they have time in that part of the day or it's reasonable to ask them to make it!

Sirzy · 17/04/2015 17:16

The teachers may be there until late, but they aren't sat around drinking coffee waiting to go home! They are busy working and to have to do the assessments after school would just add an extra work load.

Wherediparkmybroom · 17/04/2015 17:24

The fine isn't that bad we paid 60 quid each by paying immediately, just pay the fine and don't worry about it!

mumtoaninja · 17/04/2015 17:34

A friend of mine took her DD out of school for a holiday in yr2 during sats week. Tbh, I think she was a bit silly to as it was only a cheapie mon-fri butlins type holiday...hardly worth it for the £240 she incurred in fines! Anyway, the school allowed her DD to take the sats the following week.
It's unfortunate that it's booked for that week, but is it really going to be that detrimental to their school career to miss a few tests? Go on holiday, pay the fine and give your DCs a great experience!

sonjadog · 17/04/2015 17:35

Teachers who stay at work until six aren't hanging around drinking coffee and reading the paper. They are staying behind because they have need to work the extra hours to get their work done. If they are doing SATs then they are going to have to stay until 8-9 to get the work done.

ThisIsTheJamHot · 17/04/2015 17:42

SATS are for the benefit of the school and staff, not the children. Nothing which results from SATS cannot be obtained from other means. No child dies if they enter secondary school without having taken SATS.

Take the holiday, pay the fine, carry on as normal. Don't even bother giving it another thought. Your children will benefit far more from a break and a different culture than they will from doing SATS.

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 17/04/2015 17:51

I thought the OP's post was the most ridiculous thing I'd read for ages until U saw Dark Blue and her bungy jump video post. Although I suspect Dark Blue was winding us up, can't believe anyone is that appalling.

What also p***s me off is people justifying the amazing experiences their children have had (riding in the Portugese mountains anyone?) as a reason to take them on holiday in term time. These amazing experiences are, believe it or not, also available in school holidays.

tomatodizzymum · 17/04/2015 17:56

HermiaDream because of the fines I would think.

We're taking about two families here, not coach loads. I work, they work, we're not Thomas cook, you can't just book a convenient slot next Christmas holidays, that's why they needed to come term time, with less notice.

PesoPenguin · 17/04/2015 18:08

As everyone else has said YABU. Why on earth should teachers give up ( more of!) their evenings and weekends so you can take your children on holiday?
The head teacher can only authorise holidays in exceptional circumstances, which this is not.
As for the suggestion that a 'spare' TA can supervise the tests at a later date. I can assure you there are not usually 'spare' TAs floating around looking fir something to do. I'm a TA and today, for example, I had precisely 3 minutes of spare time, which were the 3 before I went home, which were quickly filled with an errand for the teacher. Yes, a TA will end up supervising the children who have to take the test at a later date, but that's up to 45 mins per test that they are not working with potentially a whole group of children who need support.

As for SATs being for the teachers' benefit, REALLY? Teachers would much rather not waste a full week, not spend hours doing extra marking and rely on their PROFESSIONAL judgement and not put their class through the stress. Teachers HAVE to do the tests, they don't do them for their own good.

oddfodd · 17/04/2015 18:13

No one needs to go on termtime holidays - they just would like to because it's cheaper.

granny - I would love to know what your kids think about you suggesting they're just hanging around school after hours with nothing better to do that supervise kids taking their SATS because their parents take them on holiday in SATS week :o

Puzzledandpissedoff · 17/04/2015 18:14

Sadly - and as always on these threads - it seems there are still some parents who'll ignore anything except what they personally want and to hell with the effects on anything or anyone else

Unfortunately, that includes the children ...

MrsSchadenfreude · 17/04/2015 18:20

Take the holiday and pay the fine. FFS, it's a week and they're in primary school. When they're doing their GCSEs or A levels, no-one is going to say "Oh but they weren't there for their SATs..."

AnaisB · 17/04/2015 18:22

YABU to suggest that staff should make special arrangements for your kids to sit the test. Just go (if you can afford the fine). At least in SATS week they won't have any work to catch up.

Bluestocking · 17/04/2015 18:28

This is the best thread I've read on MN for ages. I'm going to set up a cottage industry manufacturing fake wedding invitations to order. And the hold-the-front page bungee jump video is priceless.

slightlyconfused85 · 17/04/2015 18:29

Yabu. You can't compromise on public exam times - it is important and the holiday can be re booked.

Middlerose · 17/04/2015 18:33

Some parents on this thread have an appalling attitude to education. I just hope you're not passing it onto your children.

MrsSchadenfreude · 17/04/2015 18:34

Mine didn't do SATs, they did MAP testing, which is all done on computer and could pretty much be done at any time in a set period of time and is a much better way of assessing progress.

MrsSchadenfreude · 17/04/2015 18:36

Middlerose, I wouldn't suggest it during secondary, but they can make up a week's worth of schooling in primary quite easily.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 17/04/2015 18:37

This is the most mental thread I've read in a long time. The bungee jump post must be from Catherine Tate's posh mum sketch. And a video as well! What would the teacher play it on!?

Also we only have the OP's word that the HT said it would damage their whole school career. I'm calling bullshit on that.

OP take the holiday or take the SATs - it's not really worth all the wailing and gnashing of teeth is it?

juneau · 17/04/2015 18:46

its going to ruin my holiday

Oh no, its going to ruin your holiday? Well then you should've bloody checked the half-term dates and the dates of the SATS before you booked then shouldn't you!

OP there is no compromise. Go on holiday or stay at home and let your kids take their SATS. That's your choice. But stop being so bloody entitled and crass. Why on earth should the school put on special classes for your kids so you can take a holiday during term-time? What if every parent in that class decided to do the same thing - do you think the teachers should put on special classes for them too? Rearrange public exams to suit their holiday booking arrangements? YABVU.

squirrelnutmeg · 17/04/2015 18:49

Year 2 SATs are based on both he papers they sit and the teacher judgement, so academically it wouldn't make that much different in the long run. There is likely to be a child off poorly that week so there has to be a plan B
I think your attitude to the head is unreasonable, there are 28 other pupils to consider in all your suggestions.