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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get so angry about the no compromise attitude of my kids headmistress

526 replies

twinsplus1sfb · 17/04/2015 09:19

Arghhhhh - need to vent.
Situation - I have 3 kids (2 in Yr2, 1 in yr 4). They have never been abroad experienced an aeroplane different culture etc etc.
Their grandad has booked an expensive family holiday abroad, unfortunately he got mixed up with the dates and booked it for the week before half term.
I put a holiday form in and got a phone call from the school - apparently that is SATs week for my twins.
We have looked into changing the dates - no can do.
So - and here's where I get angry - I went to the head and told her the situation and asked her if there was any way we could work together around this, could the kids stay late after school one day or come in at the weekend before the SATS or come in in the half term after SATS.
I just got a flat NO to every option I suggested - she said it would affect their grades, and their whole school career. I asked if there was anything I could do - and she said "Cancel the holiday, oh and there will be a fine"
I understand that taking them out is not acceptable - but come on school - can we not compromise??? Help a little??? I dont even mind paying the fine, I'm just so upset that she cant even work with me on them taking their SATS on a different day or different time - is it really that strict? Would all of the headmistresses out there say that?
My kids have 100% attendance, they have never missed any school for holiday reasons ever before - its so peed off - and its going to ruin my holiday. Any advice? Any body had nice experiences with their heads? Is there anything I can do so that my kids can take their SATS?

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 18/04/2015 19:36

Schools controlling when you take your children on holiday really annoys me

Schools cannot and do not control when you can take holidays, they are however on the short end of the stick as they are not allowed to authorised holidays as the GOVERNMENT says so.

HermiaDream · 18/04/2015 19:44

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Bluestocking · 18/04/2015 19:57

Way to miss the point, Tomato.

RufusTheReindeer · 18/04/2015 20:19

tomato

Love my holidays, I wouldn't subject my friends to all the painful details and photos, I also don't want to know all the ins and outs of their holidays either

"How was your holiday?" "Lovely thanks" is as far as it needs to go

I am curious as to what part of my chikdrens education should go In order that they may be regaled with all the details of their classmates holidays

Or is it only Fiji they should be interested in?

TenerifeSea · 18/04/2015 20:39

Schools controlling when you take your children on holiday really annoys me

I feel the same way about every employer I've had. I mean, I don't choose to work, I have to work to live and the benefits system won't accept "lack of holiday flexibility" as a reason.

Floggingmolly · 18/04/2015 20:49

If the children "being educated about Fiji" consists of reading Tarquin's holiday blog (or even better, watching videos of his exploits); I think I'll pass, Tomato.
They can be educated through the normal channels, thanks. Not patronised by some smirking Year 4 child who should actually be in school with them when the exploits are being filmed.

WindMeUpAndLetMeGo · 18/04/2015 20:51

Altinkum - the fine is £60 per day, per parent, per child. Taking 3 kids out of school for 5 days would be a £1800 fine.

tomatodizzymum · 18/04/2015 21:35

i didn't miss the point. But one of the best resources teachers have are other chilldren. Children learn more from experience and the real life experiences of others than other sources.

My sons classmate went back to Norway (where his mum's from). He told his classmates all about it and showed pictures. Loads of them told me they want to go themselves one day. Maybe the teacher should have told him to shut up and keep his smugtwattery to himself, Brazilian kids aren't interested in snow Hmm.

Years ago I was teaching and a child went to Cuba, he had taken a lot of pictures and the other kids were fascinated. Clearly they shouln't have been, they should have told him to stop bragging.

Floggingmolly I take it you've read 'Tarquin's holiday blog' to be able to make a judgement on it's educational value for his classmates?

Companies let everyone take holidays, just not often at the same time as childrens school holidays. The UK has one of the highest number of days statutory annual leave in the world, perhaps the highest. Don''t know why they bother, judging by some opinions on this thread holidays are over rated.

Stitchintime1 · 18/04/2015 21:41

Why don't people just take their kids on holiday, pay the fine and shut up? All this here are my photos, videos, blogs, diary of cultural visits - how does anyone get to be so self centred?

Stitchintime1 · 18/04/2015 21:47

And that story about grandad, everybody uses that one. Or the sick relative. Everybody. The headteacher doesn't believe you. He thinks you booked it for that week to save money. He won't tell you he doesn't believe you, but he doesn't.

But well done for offering to create more work for his teachers. That will have gone down well.

HermiaDream · 18/04/2015 21:50

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tomatodizzymum · 18/04/2015 21:58

I'm so glad I don't live in the UK, I can go away so the children can see their grandparents, the school will approve it and then ask the children to talk about the UK and why it's different to Brazil. I'll be sure to join them next time and warn them up front that it's heaving with miserable gits who don't like learning about other places or cultures so don't bother Wink

HermiaDream · 18/04/2015 22:00

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ReallyTired · 18/04/2015 22:06

Wind the fine is not as bad as £1800 for taking 3 children away for one week. The worst scenario is two parents being fined £180 each or a total of £360 for taking 3 children on holiday during term time.

www.thegrid.org.uk/info/welfare/documents/education_penalty_notices_jul13.doc

Even then the fines have to be applied consistently.

tomatodizzymum · 18/04/2015 22:12

HermiaDream no can do, grandparents would crumble. Also when you stay away you start idealising it and end up moving back (been there). That's why I come on mumsnet Grin

Cherrychocolate · 18/04/2015 22:13

We recently took one of our children out of school for a two week holiday. We had an amazing time as a family, and we don't regret it for one second. We have to go during term time, or we wouldn't ever be able to go away because of my DH's job. We thought long and hard about when to go, and made the decision based on what was best for all members of our family. People are so judgemental about term time holidays, but sometimes there are situations where families have little choice if they want to spend some time away together. It's not always black and white.

ilovesooty · 18/04/2015 22:18

it's heaving with miserable gits who don't like learning about other places or cultures

Don't be so ridiculous.

Floggingmolly · 18/04/2015 22:23

I'm a bit bemused at the notion that Brazilian children had to wait till one of their number visited Norway (during term time??) to learn about snow...

MERLYPUSSEDOFF · 18/04/2015 22:31

In Sri Lanka you can just about bribe anyone in a 'position of trust' unfortunately. MIL managed to jump the queue to get a phone line installed by bribing the local councillor - the country is corrupt according to OH.
They weren't totally fluent in Ceylonese, of course not, but a hell of a lot better than I am/was and their Dad re learnt the language he had forgotten.

I am allowed to feel bitter about the way it was acknowledged to my children that they had didn't get to see GD Seeya before he died. I didn't see it as a holiday (even though at the insistence of MIL we did tourist stuff) but a duty that my OH and my sons had to full fill.

Re the caravan snobbery comment - that's bollocks. I have no snobbery re caravan holidays, we are going May BHOL. I used it as an example as to how every Friday in summer (4 days/8 seperate events) will look the same as one 4 day (8 events) chunk.

WindMeUpAndLetMeGo · 18/04/2015 22:37

Really tired I was basing that on the letter from DSs school - they're obviously using major scare tactics or are on the rob!!

tomatodizzymum · 18/04/2015 22:51

Floggingmolly of course they know what snow is, it snows in Brazil sometimes (just not where we live). Snow as an abstract concept and pictures of their classmate building a snowman, totally different experiences.

MidniteScribbler · 18/04/2015 22:52

People are so judgemental about term time holidays, but sometimes there are situations where families have little choice if they want to spend some time away together. It's not always black and white.

I can actually understand and accept when a parent is in a job that does not permit holidays during school holiday periods as a valid reason for taking time off school. Especially when those people are actually honest about their reasons. It's the 'granddad booked the wrong dates', fake wedding, dying relative (but not really), cheap flights excuses that make it harder for those with genuine reasons.

CactusAnnie · 18/04/2015 22:58

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tomatodizzymum · 18/04/2015 23:13

CactusAnnie What are you on about? of course it's not the only experience they could have. The school asked them to do it, here it would be considered rude if they didn't do it. That was way over the top!

tomatodizzymum · 18/04/2015 23:15

yes it was during term time because no gives a shiny shit as long as you get the grades and pass the year. These class presentations can be counted towards your final grade.

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