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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Selfishness with buggies on public transport

135 replies

CarryOnCramping · 17/04/2015 08:09

I know we love these threads.

Yesterday DS and I had to use various modes of public transport. We got on a tram at lunchtime at a quite busy time and had to stand up. DS is 3 and generally a bit wobbly if he has to stand up on moving vehicles so not ideal but not the end of the world.

One woman was sat in a section of 4 seats, so two facing another two, with her buggy stuck in the leg room bit. So nobody else could have got in to sit down. Apparently completely unaware that the tram was packed and their were elderly/pregnant people that would probably have liked a seat.

We got on a train at rush hour (in London) and another woman sat on an outside seat had her buggy next to her in the aisle. So when anybody got on if they wanted to go and get a seat they had to take their bags off and squeeze past in the tiny gap left. She'd make a half arsed attempted at pulling the buggy towards her and say 'oh sorry' but didn't actually think to move her buggy?

AIBU to be dumbfounded at this kind of behaviour? How are people so oblivious? I remember when my PFB was tiny and how stressful I found public transport and I probably even made some silly awkward decisions some times but never to that extent? Is this a thing now or did I just witness two selfish people in a short space of time?

OP posts:

Ilovenannyplum · 17/04/2015 15:15

Mintyy- usually no problems with getting it in the buggy bit and sharing with another pram, shopping trolley or whatever else happens to get on!
Today's bus was a single decker, one doored bus and its not as wide as a double decker so the wheelchair space then isn't as wide, if I put the pram in vertically, it hangs out into the narrow aisle and blocks it, plus there's nowhere for me to stand without further blocking the stupid narrow aisle. Also people getting on and off with shopping bash the pram on the way past and I worry DS will get whacked.
I honestly wasn't being difficult on purpose there was no way I could have moved as there was already people standing and there just wasn't room, thankfully we only need that bus once a week

toomuchtooold · 17/04/2015 15:17

Croydon! waves to the Croydon massive
I used to live in Croydon, I loved the trams, as outside of rush hour there's plenty of space to get the buggy on. Harder on the bus, I used to brass neck it sometimes if I was in a hurry but the sound of pensioners tutting would bloody deafen you.

Now I live in Basel and they have trams with 2 separate spaces for wheelchairs and buggies. The luxury. OK totally outed myself now.

Also, people who tut at double buggies because they are big. I have/had a Mountain Buggy duet, it's a side by side but with a really narrow footprint. The kids have been uncomfortably close in it since they were about 18 months. Nevertheless, the eye rolling I've witnessed... I felt like shouting at people, it's a double buggy! They're twins! There are two of them, and neither of them can walk!

OK so now I've totally outed myself to the Croydonites... you know that woman that you used to see in Croydon, the slightly mad eyed angry one that you'd see marching a manky Mountain Buggy full of toddlers up to Waitrose? That was me. Sorry if I ran over your feet.

MrsKoala · 17/04/2015 15:23

tomuch - We originally bought the mountain buggy duet for our 2, because the footprint was narrow, but my boys were so squished we went back to the uppababy and attached the rumble seat for DS1. We get tuts whichever one we use.

Tizwailor · 17/04/2015 15:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnneElliott · 17/04/2015 15:29

Since we're on the subject of train travel, a man yesterday on a packed commuter train pretending to be asleep with his feet on the seats and his bag on the one next to him.

Couldn't wake him up so I put his bag in his lap and sat down. He refused to move his legs though for any other passenger

Ilovenannyplum · 17/04/2015 17:34

Virtual high 5 to you Anne!

UptheChimney · 17/04/2015 18:16

I had parked the pram (it doesn't fold and DS is only 8 months old so too young to get out)

YABVVU to have a pram that doesn't fold, and then get miffed because other people are grumpy about the space it occupies. What if a wheelchair user needed that space? Their need is far greater than yours.

UptheChimney · 17/04/2015 18:21

getting it in the buggy bit and sharing with another pram, shopping trolley or whatever else happens to get on

It's not a "buggy space" -- it's a wheelchair space which other people can use. But it's a wheelchair space, fought for long & hard by people who will never have easy mobility (or much mobility at all, often) except by wheelchair. You sound very selfish.

hazeyjane · 17/04/2015 18:23

bloody hell, ilovenannyplum, I can see why the lady was grumpy! Why would you not be able to get your 8 month old out?

If your pram takes up that much room on the bus, I think you need to think about an alternative!

SaucyJack · 17/04/2015 18:24

"YABVVU to have a pram that doesn't fold, and then get miffed because other people are grumpy about the space it occupies."

No. She wasn't being U. The moany old biddy who couldn't stand that somebody else was in the space she wanted was the one being unreasonable.

SaucyJack · 17/04/2015 18:29

Wheelchairs take priority by law. Shopping trolleys don't.

The PP was under no moral obligation to fold her buggy at her own inconvenience just so trolley lady could have a more comfortable journey. This is what I mean by not cowering in a corner apologising for my own existence for daring to take my child out in public.

WaxyBean · 17/04/2015 18:32

Another regular tram user in London! Agree v selfish as there are plenty of other spaces for the buggies to go. And v selfish not to just stand with the buggy - it's not as if the journey into London is particularly long.

Cantbelievethisishappening · 17/04/2015 18:33

Two selfish people..... I would have called the police on 101 to at least log it. Shocking.

hazeyjane · 17/04/2015 18:35

Well no, but it is polite to try and share what space there is!

Also a lot of older people use shopping trolleys as mobility aids, if it was one of these

Selfishness with buggies on public transport

Mintyy · 17/04/2015 18:37

SaucyJack

"Moany old biddy" - watch your disgusting ageist language, would you please?

Mintyy · 17/04/2015 18:40

And if indeed she was an older person who has to use a shopping trolley because she cannot carry too much then I think NannyPlum was incredibly selfish not to try and accommodate her!

Cantbelievethisishappening · 17/04/2015 18:42

"Moany old biddy" - watch your disgusting ageist language, would you please?

alsmutko · 17/04/2015 18:42

Ah bus etiquette. Remember the days when under-5s went free 'as long as they do not take up a seat at the expense of a fare-paying passenger'? (Yes, passenger not customer, those were the days).
Nowadays it seems all children get their own seat no matter how small and sod you if you're elderly and are standing up. Seen parents struggling to prevent toddler falling off the seat or holding child standing up on the seat! Like, why not put him on your lap where your arms can act as seat belts? Of course if there's more than one child or parent has lots of shopping bags that's different. But otherwise - and it's a crowded bus/train - put the child on your lap please!

alsmutko · 17/04/2015 18:44

The distances I used to walk when DD was a toddler because it was easier than getting on a bus!

SaucyJack · 17/04/2015 18:48

Moany cow then. Better?

Mintyy · 17/04/2015 18:51

Oh don't be so silly.

Ilovenannyplum · 17/04/2015 18:52

Just for the record, I would be more than happy to get off the bus for a wheelchair user. I do understand that it's a priority space for a wheelchair NOT a pram.
However, lady with a shopping trolley, who had a seat, she just wanted to put the trolley there, I am not going to move my pram and get in every other persons way just so she is happy.

My pram is a travel system, to collapse it, I would need 2 hands to remove the seat, then put that on the floor, then collapse the wheels. Meanwhile I would also need to hold my baby. It's just not feasible to do this on a bus.
As I said before, 99.9% of buses I use, it fits alongside another pram or trolley but the one bus I have to use a week is smaller and therefore it doesn't fit alongside another pram.

I would 100,000% get off if a wheelchair needed the space, but I'm not going to move the pram and get in 30 other people's way because one lady doesn't want to hold onto her trolley for 5 mins.

What would she have done if there were trolleys occupying that space instead of a pram?

Ilovenannyplum · 17/04/2015 18:57

And she was going to the shops so the trolley was empty....

Lauren1983 · 17/04/2015 19:03

It's not a "buggy space" -- it's a wheelchair space which other people can use. But it's a wheelchair space, fought for long & hard by people who will never have easy mobility (or much mobility at all, often) except by wheelchair. You sound very selfish.

I can't comment on all buses but the ones I use do have a buggy space. Wheelchair users can't use this space, they have one they can use opposite.

hazeyjane · 17/04/2015 19:17

I think that on all buses, wheelchair users have priority over wheelchair accessible spaces, but buggies are able to use them if they are not being used by a wheelchair - this goes for all wheelchair accessible spaces on the bus.

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