To start a thread on nutty neighbours?

[littlefrenchonion]

Neighbour (early 50's, healthy, but very odd with her own strange opinions on everything) just popped her head over the fence to inform me that her granddaughter recently caught Ebola from eating one of her pet chicken's eggs. Really? Are you sure? Not salmonella? Nope, actual EBOLA, as in the haemorrhagic disease currently sweeping parts of West Africa. But it's ok, as her granddaughter is a Coeliac and is therefore more likely to catch EBOLA than me. She looked it up on the internet and thinks it may be the first case of a chicken spreading Ebola, as she couldn't find any information. But I should probably avoid eating eggs to be on the safe side (I'm pregnant). Right.

In the same conversation, I have also been told off for 'marching' down my garden too fast, don't I know it will give me pre-eclampsia?

In the past we've been accused of closing our windows 'rudely', and that my Facebook account has been hacked because she searched my name and it came up with someone else with my name but it wasn't me!

Anyone else have any crazy/daft/weird neighbours and some good stories to tell?

Well, avoid eggs, quit your daily march and close your windows daintily whilst saying, "Excuse me, pardon me, bless you..."

Honestly, she has your best interests at heart.

how dare you talk about me on here ???!!!!

If someone typed what mrsfuzzy just did on a thread i wrote, I would SHITE myself

Hmm...might have to start worrying about own hens giving me ebola (coeliac). Perhaps eating own hens will be the answer?

I love batpoop neighbours - they make the world a far more interesting and amusing place. In a previous address I had a batpoop neighbour who sunbathed in the street in his flesh coloured swimming trunks on hot, sunny days. He was pushing 80 years old! I loved the outrage it caused.

Who said we should listen to the wise older generation?

I only informed you for your own good. Stop staring at me from your windows also..

a neighbour at my old address would hang up the most MASSIVE knickers on the line, stretched at the waist to show off the full size, that's o.k i guess, but she was skinny as heck and her husband was rather large.. er...um....mm..enough said now i think about it !

I did weigh up the chances of her being a MN user before posting.... Pretty sure she isn't... I don't think...

Mine dresses up to drive around the block - literally 5mins at most, then returns thinking she's had a full day away at work

One of our other neighbours is our old landlord. When we first moved in, we found a wodge of photos of him and some Thai ladyboys in a cupboard. We didn't know what to do with them - I think in the end we put them in the attic and left them there when we moved out. Bit awkward.

Pretty sure the bloke next door to me has bodies buried in his garden.

He also has three cars (clearly belonging to his victims) and an odd arrangement where he changes their position on the driveway/road.

I like him. Very quiet. Friendly. Perfect neighbour.

Dreading the day the police knock and I have to fein (typed Gein at first - subconcious?) surprise and pretend I thought the shallow graves were a veggie patch...

I daren't post about my neighbours. I'm sure several are on mn

We have a strange neighbour. She phoned us at 8pm to tell us off for cutting down some trees in our own garden. She said she was unhappy because her patio is now exposed and we can now look at her when she's out there I reassured her that I'm far too busy to be peeping out at her sitting on her patio but she's not having it and is demanding I put a tall fence up so I can't spy on her, should I get the urge.

Mine shouts ' at the top of her lungs out of her bedroom window at all times of the day/night... Think someone's been watching too much Lost

Gah 'WILSON' at the top of her lungs.

My dc stopped using their swing at the bottom of the garden when we lost our fence because our crazy neighbour kept popping into the garden to give them a push And when they told her no thanks she got angry with them and told them off for being rude.

This was before she marched through our garden, down the side of the house, round to our front door, rung the doorbell, walked straight back round the house, thumped on the back door and walked down the garden back into her own garden where she sat with a cup of tea.

Sherlocked she probably has PTSD from watching Cast Away.

Be nice.

King was it Castaway? Damn, thought it was Lost. I'm sure she's trying to steal our cat aswell

I'm the nutty neighbour in our street

I asked the Sri Lankan lady next door what she cooks every Tuesday because it smells gorgeous.

She looked at me like this >

Then told me that she boils her husband's work overalls every Tuesday...

Her who lives across the road would talk to you one day and ignore you the next and when I first moved in she became very angry that I did not have any blinds up immediately . It was not that sort of area apparently . And she was going to ring SS because I was giving out to ds about leaving his bike out.

Essence of sweaty bollocks.

Hahaha worra
The smell of 'man'

There may have been a Winston in Lost. I forget.

In Cast Away Tom Hanks had a foot ball called Winston. He lost it and cried. Very emotional not.

But it smelled so nice and oniony

I'm sure it was called Wilson Joffers. T'was very sad