Completely embracing being a housewife

[bananasoranges]

I was made reduntant at Christmas and then went through a period of applying for loads of jobs and feeling a bit miserable. I have heard absolutely nothing regarding the jobs. DH then started to say how good things were now I am at home not working and I started to think of all the benefits of our new situation. I am not stressed, house always clean and tidy, lovely meals as a family, more time to help dc with school work etc. The relationship between DH and I has never been better. Money is extremely tight though we can just about manage on DHs salary. He says he would rather that than go back to how things were. This feels really good and we are all happy, but I have a niggling feeling I should be working - mainly get the vibe from other people.

wheresmyAga make sure you let your dc know what you do in fact work even if they dont see it.

Do what you want but make sure it is for You. I'm in almost the same situ but I got a lot of support from dh because that's what suits Him best: clean house, nice meals, etc. I find working PT suits Me best, and even though it's more of a hassle house wise.

It this works for you do it. I was A SAHM for ten years and we all appreciated it as a family. My DH was always very grateful to come home to a lovely clean house and meal, to be picked up from the airport after business trips,etc and I was glad not to have the stress of worrying about childcare, what if the kids were ill, etc and really enjoyed being at home. The kids appreciated I was always there to pick them up from school, help in class, be on the PTA etc. Even when I went back to work I worked family friendly hours - my own personal view being that kids need a parent at key times in the day even as teens

Now our choices as a family would not be for everyone of course, but they worked for us. Oh, and I NEVER once asked DH for money as I am look after all the money in our house! He sees us as a partnership each contributing in different but equal ways.

Why is asking dh for money a bad thing?

If you are a sahm ad your dp is the provider i would assume that the money he provides is yours as much as his, so there would be no need to ask.

But we don't have a joint bank ac (my preference) and he's not a mind reader. If I need more money I ask him to transfer me some.

Nolim sometimes my paid work does spill over into family time, so they do see me doing it then. It doesn't seem to have quite the same impact as DH getting back from work in a suit, though maybe I need to wear a suit at home.

I do miss that Friday night feeling when the working week is over, too. One of my problems is that because I work from home, I can in theory work at any time, so when I've got a big project on, I never really get away from it.

sorry OP, didn't mean to derail the thread.

wheres I think you are onto something!
I worked very PT and had lots of time at home.
Eventually I would stand at the end of the garden and listen to the traffic in the distance as people drove home

I really missed the structure, routine, rituals and colleagues and often was so bored I couldn't really be bothered to do anything.

I realise everyone is different but 24/7 being at home is not for me despite the fact Im an avid reader, cook, have chickens, sew,knit and bake etc
I have a compulsion to WOH ( upbringing) and can only relax and enjoy my hobbies when Ive finished my working week.

This thread is interesting:www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2357414-Anyone-else-really-struggling-being-a-stay-at-home-mum-I-feel-worthless?msgid=53846968#53846968

I should add that I value parenting highly but I really felt much happier when DH did his share !

Rita are you me re the WOH upbringing (v high-achieving, work-obsessed parents)? That's probably why I feel guilty about enjoying being at home and not working full-time - and sometimes lolling about mumsnetting and doing not very much at all.

The guilt is a killer. I'm happy, DH is happy and the DC are happy. Why do I care what the rest of the world may or may not think of my life choices?

Nope, my father was a nasty underachiever and my mother a wonderful capable woman who was miserable and constrained by being a SAHM - she could have achieved so much more.

I don't feel guilty - I WOH 3 days a week- excellent salary,4 days at home- its a perfect balance .