Completely embracing being a housewife

[bananasoranges]

I was made reduntant at Christmas and then went through a period of applying for loads of jobs and feeling a bit miserable. I have heard absolutely nothing regarding the jobs. DH then started to say how good things were now I am at home not working and I started to think of all the benefits of our new situation. I am not stressed, house always clean and tidy, lovely meals as a family, more time to help dc with school work etc. The relationship between DH and I has never been better. Money is extremely tight though we can just about manage on DHs salary. He says he would rather that than go back to how things were. This feels really good and we are all happy, but I have a niggling feeling I should be working - mainly get the vibe from other people.

You know your circumstances better than anyone else (here or elsewhere) so you do what is right for you and your family. I got the looks and vibes as well and I know it is not for everyone but it worked out for me. You cannot plan for every contingency but I would say have one eye on the future, - I have a pension sorted and did a bit of voluntary work to stop skill fade and to occasionally meet other people. A friend became a SAHM and had part-time job for the same reason. I am sure I was judged for being a SAHD but I did not do it for other people, I did it for my family and the rewards that brought.

I have recently given up work due to health issues and I am loving being a housewife. My health has improved allready and Oh and DC are enjoying a less stressed wife/mum as well as home cooked dinners and baking :-) like you money will need watching but for now the positives out way the negatives. Enjoy x

Don't worry about what other people think or say, its not their life, its yours.
Ditto to keeping pension protected and a separate bank account, just in case the worst should happen. But I'd tell a worker this as well because they are pretty fucked too in many cases
It has worked well for us as well and I don't give a shit what others think and in fact have only received bad comments from one person in 24 years, she was bad though and may still be picking her teeth up.

I was at home for eight years when my children were small and I loved it. My DH also had a pressurised job and when he got home it was real quality time. We could spend time with the children and then when they were in bed, with all the chores done, we could spend time with each other. Just take this season of life and enjoy. Fwiw my DH had a wonderful pension and died in his early 50's so never received a penny. Sometimes you can over analyse things. If your family is happy, healthy and solvent what more can you ask?

Would not suit many of us but it looks like you cannot get a job anyway. the longer you don't have one the longer it will take in future to get one so do be aware you are putting all the eggs into his basket, make wills, manage the family money and assets, know everything about both your pensions, have life insurance and make sure you do what you need to to make sure he is not one of the 50% of marriages where they go off with someone else!

Obviously you know your own circumstances best, but - though I would never dream of being anything other than supportive if you were a RL friend - I am one of those who thinks this is short-sighted economically and in career terms. But a lot depends on your own priorities, I suppose. I wouldn't personal choose short-term happiness, home-cooked meals and more homework time over my job and my own economic security. But I am probably unusually work-focused, and have genuine difficulty in understanding what there is to enjoy about being a SAHP. Horses for courses, obviously -and if you can't find a job, anyway, that stops being an option - but as others have said, don't drift into doing this. Think about the future, take whatever steps are necessary to make sure you can re-enter your field as easily as possible, even with a gap, etc etc.

I don't agree that its hard to get a job if you have been a sahp for a length of time.
I know it is hard if not impossible to walk into the same position at the same level, but if you aren't choosy there are jobs about.

Round here there are always supermarkets, corner shops, cleaning, school jobs, dept stores, chippys, pie shops, take aways, call centre jobs available and sahm friends of mine found no problem getting a job.

Quite often once in a job promotion or applying for new jobs is easy once you have gained recent employment on your cv.

Go for it- but as others have said keep in mind the longer term. Keep contacts in the world of work- think about ways to keep skills up to date via volunteering/ being a school governor etc.and hobbies etc that give you identity beyond home. Good luck!

I'm at stay at home mother/housewife, and it totally works for us. I only know one other except for my mother.

My husband can focus on his career and I do all the house stuff, both aspects benefit is as a family.

I had a successful and professional career prior to have babies, and I'll go back to it one day. I don't really give much thought to what other people think of my employment status.

If it works for you, then it's all that matters.

It's entirely up to you and your DH. I can see the benefits and think lots of people would love to do that. I wouldn't, I enjoy part time work and get bored at home. I'm crap at housework too. I also like the contrast between my crazily busy working days and my relaxed days off. It's got nothing to do with anyone else though, it's all about what works for you and your family.

I ran a small business from home for five yrs after being made redundant and when the business got too much for me I closed it down and decided to take a year out to recover! Best decision I ever made, my youngest was in preschool at the time so had loads of time to spend with him and to help eldest ds with homework. I got the house finally sorted out the way I wanted it, did a bit of decorating, painted furniture, that kind of thing. Spent a lot of time gardening and in the gym.

I've been looking for part time work for the last seven months now that youngest is at school, and although I get depressed about not working and things are tight but just about manageable, I make sure to keep busy, I'm doing a part time college course which has led to me volunteering on a local charity helpline, I'm a member of a new community garden which meets once a week and when I come home I have time and energy to cook a proper meal! If only I could get paid for the activities I do it would be fab!

There's no harm in taking some 'time out' from working, it's not going to be forever and if you can manage financially and you and your family benefit from you not working then go for it, maybe others are a tad jealous??

Morethan - I think that purely 'getting a job' in the sense of anything that pays you is completely different to returning to a professional field after a gap of several years. Obviously, we won't know the OP's situation, but for many of us, taking time out would seriously limit our ability to get back into our fields at all.

Any worker/employee also faces risks in their job eg what if company faces bankruptcy? What if your salary never rises? Similarly why scaremonger a SAHP who has pension/insurance savings covered? If no other reason it's jealousy. OP enjoy your choice and chaos free home life you'll look back on your time as a mum raising kids in a calm organised home and realise you did the best thing.

If your enjoy being at home and can afford it, then do it. Screw other people's opinions!

Vipers

Oh yes, totally agree. I thought I said that in my post.
Although, I know of several people who have gone into the same field but at a much higher level than they left. It depends greatly on the career/job the person had to begin with.

Often living at a slower pace means one can actually save more money anyhow : no transport costs/work clothes/ work lunches/functions/ compulsory social nights out/childcare for one or more kids/no time to cook so buy expensive convenience foods often/paying a cleaner etc? Sometimes having time to work things out and cut cloth accordingly gives a great feeling of being your own boss in charge of your family affairs rather than running a hamster wheel lifestyle for a company who view you as nothing more than a statistic on their books. Your kids will never view you that way thankfully

OP, you have given me some hope. I am being made redundant next week after 12 loyal years and working full time. I have applied for a few things internally but dont have the qualifications for them (and would never have applied otherwise).

I have a DD who is 2, I am thinking of taking 2 years off till she is in school then start working again. But then i might hate being at home. And what about money, on 1 calculator with tax credits we will be ok, on another one we will be up shit creek without a paddle. I dont know what to do really. Overall I am just terrified, my security blanket has been pulled away from me.

Since you are having difficulty finding jobs, do give yourself some breathing space. However, if you are in a professional, managerial or executive role and previously enjoyed your job, think very carefully whether you can get back into your job later and what you are doing means you will forfeit that life.

Being a SAHM for 1-2 years is not the same as being one for 10-15 years to indefinite.

Ditto what others said about putting your eggs in one basket.

Enjoy the feeling! Who cares what anyone else thinks it's your family

Just bought the little friend (Donna tartt) it's 3.47 today!

Oops sorry wrong thread

Since we did this a few years ago DH has been promoted three times and more than doubled his salary (to put it another way, his take home is more than our joint take home was), whilst working slightly shorter hours than he did when I worked too. His colleagues have commented how lucky he is to have a supportive partner and the difference it has made to him personally a and also his performance. We spend a lot of time together and it works for us.

For my future security and also as a trust thing he transfers money into a savings account for me each month and also contributes to a private pension in my name, we also put a substantial lump of money into my name at the start. This was done at DH's suggestion so I would feel comfortable and safe not working. I keep my hand in a little through volunteering.

I must admit I have never been happier.

I do it and I like it. :)

His colleagues have commented how lucky he is to have a supportive partner

Moustache: tbh your characterization of sahp as supportive bothers me a bit since it somehow implies that wohp are not. I dont know if that is what you meant but plenty of supportive parters decide to continue working.

Nolim a sahp can do practical things a wohm can't. It's not so much emotional support as the solid, 'I don't even need to make a phone call, of course I can fly to New York tomorrow/ work until 2am' mindset someone who has someone else running the household has.