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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To never speak to this friend again?

203 replies

ArgyMargy · 15/04/2015 22:31

She has just outed herself on Facebook as a UKIP supporter. I always knew she was a bit racist but she lives in a backwater. What the hell do I do now?! Should I just never speak to her again?

OP posts:
rebelfor · 16/04/2015 01:36

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AntiHop · 16/04/2015 01:36

Yanbu. I find UKIP abhorrent. I could not be friends with someone who supports them.

FredSaid · 16/04/2015 01:40

I dont see the UKIP as racist tho, im going by you saying you think she is racist for other reasons. BNP are racist 100% UKIP are xenophobic

FredSaid · 16/04/2015 01:41

Stalkers Hmm

rebelfor · 16/04/2015 01:42

Liars Hmm

FastWindow · 16/04/2015 01:47

I probably shouldn't weigh in here.

emotionsecho · 16/04/2015 02:31

Having listened to UKIP's Manifesto launch today (I've listened to all the other ones as well, yes, I am a sad personGrin) I can understand why people would vote for them, it all sounded very reasonable but, as with everything, the devil is in the detail and not many people read the small print on anything, let alone a party manifesto.

FredSaid · 16/04/2015 02:32

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richthegreatcornholio · 16/04/2015 06:56

Perhaps she has particularly strong anti EU feelings, in which case it's a fairly sensible choice. Nothing racist about UKIP anyway, if you think there is then please show us their racist policies?

Branleuse · 16/04/2015 07:00

i would delete a Facebook friend for that. No problem/question.

ThursdayLast · 16/04/2015 07:15

Arf at you taking offence at someone else bigotry whilst dismissing us rural folk as dumb ass, unsocial racists.

We live in a democracy.

Alisvolatpropiis · 16/04/2015 07:16

Yanbu.

By and large I find that UKIP voters, as well as being "bit" racist are also a "bit" thick.

RichPetunia · 16/04/2015 07:18

I think that people need to wake up and realise that the free movement of people in Europe has caused a huge strain on Uk services, NHS, schools etc. As someone mentioned before, I would like to think that when I am out and about people would be speaking English, but no, we seem to have been swamped by Eastern Europeans. You are not allowed to say anything because that would make you racist, but the numbers are huge and I sometimes wonder what tourists think when they come here, because they'd be hard pushed to tell they were in Britain. At the very least, there needs to be background checks on everyone coming in to the Uk. In my area we have had two rapes, and the murder of an OAP carried out by people who have recently arrived in this country to work. We need to ensure that anyone coming here adds something to our society, not vice versa. You need to be asking yourself why UKIP is the only option for some, without trotting out the racist card yet again.

milliemanzi · 16/04/2015 07:33

*There's nothing wrong with that. I'm tempted. Mostly because, where I work, the people who serve me in the staff canteen can't understand me, the software developers can't understand me, and the cleaners can't understand me.
I sometimes struggle to understand what my GP is saying to me too.

This is so horribly arrogant I don't even know when to start. Boohoo for you.

peggyundercrackers · 16/04/2015 07:35

cant believe the people who say speak to h and see what you think - why the fuck would anyone justify their thoughts to you? its nothing too with you if your friend wants to cast her vote for UKIP.

tali you said Nigel Farage is a self serving twat - you forgot to add a load of other politicians onto that list... ed miliand, ed balls, nick clegg, Nicola sturgeon, alex salmond - the list goes on and on...

Original poster
ArgyMargy · 16/04/2015 07:39

She did the online survey thing where you pick your policies without knowing the party. So nothing to do with Farage and not just about immigration. She's not stupid at all. Apologies to rural folks - all I meant is that there are very few non-white people where she lives. Her racism is the unthinking kind and of course I have challenged her on it before.

In hindsight I should perhaps have put that "lighthearted" thing in the thread title...

OP posts:
richthegreatcornholio · 16/04/2015 07:41

danger I don't see any racist policies there. Sure there are a couple of bad apples in UKIP but then there are in any party.

pinningwobble · 16/04/2015 07:42

Rich petunia do you really think these people would leave their homes and their families to come and live here if they had any better options? If you had no job and no way of supporting your family and you could go to a country where you could earn a bit more money (mostly by doing a shitty cleaning job earning minimum wage) would you not go?

This is why I don't and could never understand right politics. They're selfish. They have no compassion. People just see a load of immigrants 'not speaking English' and get on their high horse about them 'taking benefits and jobs and putting a strain on the nhs'.

My father came here in the eighties having been imprisoned and tortured in his home country. If he'd stayed he would have died. He was a journalist in his home country and when he came here he had to wash dishes for a living because he couldn't speak English. It takes time to learn a new language you know.

I live in London which is very multicultural and I love it but I was in a smaller town recently and never heard anyone speaking anything but English. I really can't understand why it would be offensive to someone hearing a person speak in another language. I was on the bus the other day and a polish woman was on the phone, speaking Polish. Someone tutted at her and she said, very meekly 'I'm speaking to my mother in Poland and she can't speak English'. I work with another polish lady whose English is word perfect (and frankly of a higher standard than most UKIP supporters I know) but when she's with her sister she speaks polish. And why the fuck shouldn't she?

Yangsun · 16/04/2015 07:43

I agree with pp that you should ask her for the money you spent on her dad if that's how it's going to be! Say that's fine, I spent £x on cinema tickets and £y on food so that means you owe me £z I will take the £7 off that amount. It doesn't really matter how she reacts as you clearly don't want a continuing relationship with her.

richthegreatcornholio · 16/04/2015 07:48

By and large I find that UKIP voters, as well as being "bit" racist are also a "bit" thick

I'm neither and the only reason I'm not voting UKIP is due to need to keep the filthy Labour scum out of a marginal constituency.

Alisvolatpropiis · 16/04/2015 08:00

Oh well that totally changed my opinion then, rich Hmm.

It's up to you how you choose to justify voting for UKIP to yourself.

dragdownthemoon · 16/04/2015 08:05

I have friends who have said they will vote UKIP. It makes me sad. Particularly those who have said they will vote UKIP "to make a point, but wouldn't want them to actually get in power". Yup, more than one person I know is doing that.

I wouldn't cut people out of my life for their political views but it does make me question how well I actually know them. And i would challenge it, but politics is a tricky thing and I am not clever enough to be able to argue unfortunately so I worry about getting involved in political debate. I recently fell out with a friend because she said she was going to vote Tory...

milliemanzi · 16/04/2015 08:18

If you base your whole reasoning for voting for a political party on "hearing too many foreign voices around" the yeah you probably are a bit thick to be honest.

Theycallmemellowjello · 16/04/2015 08:23

Confused why you were ok to be friends with her when you knew she was "a bit of a racist" but not ok to be friends with her now you know she's a Kipper. For me it'd be the other way around...