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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Yes I was 100% unreasonable, I just smacked my toddlers arm.

118 replies

Bumpandkind · 14/04/2015 18:28

God, I feel awful. Making supper for Ds 21 months and like a twat I picked up a pan that had been in the oven and screamed in pain. Ds thought this was hilarious and started laughing. I got down to his level, told him it's not funny and smacked him on the arm. He looked so shocked and burst into tears. I don't know what came over me. I'm not a person to loose their temper or even shout at all. He's now happily eating and chatting away to me and although it seems he's forgotten already I certainly haven't. How can I make sure this doesn't happen again?

OP posts:
MildDrPepperAddiction · 14/04/2015 18:32

You make sure it doesn't happen again by not hitting him again.

He did nothing wrong (not that that would excuse it) and you hit him.

I hope you have apoligised to him.

MildDrPepperAddiction · 14/04/2015 18:33

*apologised.

Favouritethings · 14/04/2015 18:33

Wear oven gloves and take deep breaths

friendofsadgirl · 14/04/2015 18:34

You're feeling awful so that is a very good sign that you won't do it again. You were in pain and reacted instinctively to someone laughing at you.
Don't be too hard on yourself and wear oven gloves! Flowers

fulltothebrim · 14/04/2015 18:36

Another vote for oven gloves.

Are you in the habit of smacking other people?

Quitelikely · 14/04/2015 18:38

You answered your question in your title. Why post? Confused

Original poster
Bumpandkind · 14/04/2015 18:38

Yes, I apologised profusely to him. No, I've never smacked anyone. Will definitely use oven gloves in future smile.

OP posts:
Welshmaenad · 14/04/2015 18:38

You were in pain and shock and acted totally out of character.

The fact that you feel awful I dicates that you probably won't do it again.

Tell him you're sorry, have a cuddle, forgive yourself and move on.

Original poster
Bumpandkind · 14/04/2015 18:38

Smile I mean.

OP posts:
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 14/04/2015 18:39

I think, sometimes, it just all gets a bit too much.

I have a 1 year old and a 2 year old and tea times can be fraught. They are both in their high chairs (not eating so no choking risks) whilst I am seeking refuge in the loo for 10 minutes running their bath

I've never smacked them but I have felt very cross - particularly when DS is doing things that he knows are naughty just to get a reaction. I put them both in their high chairs, put Thomas on the TV (we got one for the kitcheb for this exact purpose!) and go out the room for a few deep breaths

PuntasticUsername · 14/04/2015 18:39

You made a mistake and you feel dreadful about it. I doubt you'll smack that easily again. If you do, maybe have a harder think about things!

Thanks
ClumsyNinja · 14/04/2015 18:39

Grief! You've hardly committed the crime of the century.

Accidents and mistakes do happen you know. I really wouldn't obsess about it, if I were you.

PuntasticUsername · 14/04/2015 18:40

I'm not saying you smacked "easily" btw ffs Argh

Original poster
Bumpandkind · 14/04/2015 18:41

quitelikely if everyone in AIBU really wanted to know whether they were BU or not there would only be about half the posts Smile.

OP posts:
StarlingMurmuration · 14/04/2015 18:41

This is going to go well.

OP, it can be a natural thing to want to lash out when you've hurt yourself, but as the adult, you have to control yourself.

Sallystyle · 14/04/2015 18:43

So you posted this on here so other people could make you feel worse than you already do? Are you looking to punish yourself more or something?

You are not the first parent who has smacked out of character and felt awful about it and you won't be the last. Put it behind you now Thanks

fourteen · 14/04/2015 18:43

It's no biggie. You're human, you had a moment and you snapped.

You've apologised and made sure he's ok, he seems fine now.

Don't beat yourself up about it. It won't be the last time you go to bed vowing to have a better day tomorrow, and we all act in a way that is somewhat less than ideal sometimes.

Wine or Brew

Gunpowder · 14/04/2015 18:44

We have a tv in the kitchen too. Lifesaver.

BathshebaDarkstone · 14/04/2015 18:46

I remember I smacked DD1 because she accidentally knocked my fairly new nose stud. It was an instinctive reaction to pain. She's 23 now and I doubt she remembers it! Grin Don't beat yourself up about it. Flowers

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 14/04/2015 18:49

Yup, gunpowder. We even got one in the bedroom post-DC too

They actually don't watch much TV as it is only on for a "treat" and not throughout the day but it lets us get dressed in the morning whilst they sit on the bed and I can stick them on the high chairs and load or unload the car or bath one quickly or have 10 minutes mumsnetting

I'm currently expecting DC3 so I expect it will be used more!

Original poster
Bumpandkind · 14/04/2015 18:49

Thanks for the Flowers, Brew now and Wine later! I hope the posters who said my devastation was a sign I'd never do it again are right. [gobbolin] yes, tea time is fraught! No space for TV in my tiny kitchen but he's happily watching night garden now.

OP posts:
rebelfor · 14/04/2015 18:49

I agree with the keeping oven gloves close by. As an aside, do those who lash out like that do it to strapping 6 footers too?

SaucyJack · 14/04/2015 18:55

I'd gladly slap my 5'11 ft DP if he laughed at me when I'd hurt myself.

Original poster
Bumpandkind · 14/04/2015 18:56

rebelfor. After saying it's not in my character you've just reminded me how I used to lash out as a reaction to pain as a child. My big brother 10years older and 6ft plus would tease and laugh at me if I hurt myself and yes I would go mad at him!

OP posts:
pinningwobble · 14/04/2015 18:59

OP please don't beat yourself up, I really think we forget sometimes that parents are only human. You feel bad about it and it's done now x