Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBM to not let ds2 4 wear his Elsa dress out anymore due to twattish sniggering parents

610 replies

NellysKnickers · 13/04/2015 16:00

Ds2s hero is Elsa. He loves her and Frozen. He also loves mud, dinosaurs, trains and his bike. He wore his Elsa dress to pick up ds1 from school today. I'm shocked by the amount of parents giggling and pointing, I expected a bit from kids who dont know any better but adults? ?? I'm torn between being upset and wanting to pinch them in the face ( obviously I would never do this in reality) Why is it that people think it's ok to laugh at someone a little bit different, Dh just says they are a bit thick!

OP posts:
RoseWithAThorn · 13/04/2015 20:13

Only There are plenty of areas that have the same stance as the people in the OP. I live in one such area. No-one hangs washing out on a Sunday, people do not work on a Sunday, boys certainly would be ridiculed for wearing a girls dress. Its just the way things are here. i take great offence at you calling people 'twattish' and 'fucktards' simply because they choose to live a different way of life from you and have different values.

Swirly exactly!

Original poster
NellysKnickers · 13/04/2015 20:14

Ds wore the fucking dress because he wanted to not because I made him. If you knew him you would understand that I cant 'make' him do anything. Tomorrow I will ensure he is dressed in suitable male attire so as to not offend anyone or to attention seek. I shouldn't have posted about it either as that too is attention seeking apparently. Lesson learnt. Thanks again to all who have responded nicely and constructively.

OP posts:
ICanSmellSummerComing · 13/04/2015 20:17

Nelly Let your son do what he wants, don't infringe on him because of some Neanderthals in the park.

Awful to shackle and degenerate small child because of small minded ridiculous people.

RoseWithAThorn · 13/04/2015 20:18

Thanks again to all who have responded nicely and constructively."

Rephrase "Not everyone agreed with me so I'm going to swear to get my point across then flounce".

i have to say if you have no control over what he wears at 4 years of age you'll be in for a hard shift in years to come.

BathshebaDarkstone · 13/04/2015 20:18

I don't know how to handle this either. DS has asked for Cinderella pyjamas, but DH is a bit old-fashioned and would think he was gay, which he would not see as a good thing.

RoseWithAThorn · 13/04/2015 20:18

Bold fail Grin

OnlyLovers · 13/04/2015 20:20

Rose, I really don't care about hanging out washing/working on a Sunday, or not.

But if the values of the people who live in your area also include laughing and pointing at little boys for what they're wearing then, frankly, that is much more offensive than any swear word I've used on here. They're not just 'different' values IMO; they're at best outdated ones and at worst narrow-minded, spiteful and damaging.

OP, I'm really sorry for some of the shite you've had directed at you here. I hope your son carries on wearing his dress –or whatever else he wants to wear –happily and without 'adult's behaving badly about it. Shame on them. And shame on the posters on this thread echoing their attitudes.

ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 13/04/2015 20:22

Yeah, surely the most important message to give our children, to conform, be sheep, for gods sake don't stand out and be who you want to be.
I'm quite happy with them knowing that you don't have to follow the herd.

ProfessorVonIgelfeld · 13/04/2015 20:23

Would you point and stare at a little boy in a dress?

No, I wouldn't. And it would be my worst nightmare if anyone did that to my son.

Really, Santana Lopez, your WORST nightmare? Remarks like piss me off so much. If this is your idea of your worst nightmare, then you must be highly unimaginative! Hmm

Roobo · 13/04/2015 20:24

At Christmas I took my DD out to a shopping centre dressed as a Christmas pudding. Plenty of people pointed, nudged and laughed.

Why wouldn't they, she looked ridiculous Confused

How is this different?

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 13/04/2015 20:25

At 3 I let DS wear what he wants, as long as it's roughly weather appropriate. I didn't have a child so I could 'control' him Rose. He's a person, with his own likes and dislikes. Not a doll.

RoseWithAThorn · 13/04/2015 20:27

they're at best outdated ones and at worst narrow-minded, spiteful and damaging.

I'll be sure to tell the Island council that on Thursday as OnlyLovers on Mumsnet said so. What you appear to forget is that people have different values to you. You are completely unable to understand their POV as you are so entrenched in your own.

ahbollocks · 13/04/2015 20:30

Trouble is, a bloke in a dress is funny! Panto dames, julian clary, drag queens. Its old school humour admittedly but exists none the less.

5madthings · 13/04/2015 20:31

Different values? What fucking value is an adult that would take the pics out of a CHILD for playing fancy dress? That's not different values, that's appalling behaviour.

It's a lack of values actually and a lack of good manners.

RoseWithAThorn · 13/04/2015 20:33

I didn't have a child so I could 'control' him Rose.

Neither did I. I never had children to allow them to be ridiculed either. The OP could have ensured he wasn't pointed an stared at by not allowing him to wear a dress.

As many others have said on this thread perhaps people weren't doing it to be nasty. In usual NM style that has been overlooked by many though as usual.

MN makes me laugh a lot of the time. I wonder if you'd all allow your children to wear these outfits to weddings or other important occasions?

LittleMilla · 13/04/2015 20:33

I'm happy to out myself. live in Bristol and will see sometimes see boys in dresses. Not often, but sometimes. I'd smile and give the mum and knowing smile then carry on. My ds1 got so much attention when he went out as a spaceman, I wouldn't expect it to be any different if he was in his Elsa dress. although I might suggest he takes it off before we go out.

He's not old enough to know differently so think it's down to you OP to front it on his behalf. I'd smile broadly at any one that gave him a funny look.

Droflove · 13/04/2015 20:33

We're they being mean or were they just smiling at how bloody adorable he looked. I think it's sweet and would possibly look and smile at him without meaning anything bad at all.

Original poster
NellysKnickers · 13/04/2015 20:34

Rose, I haven't flounced anywhere why would you think I have? going to bed now though, all this has given me a headache, poor sweet little ds, fast asleep, no idea of the discussion going on because he wore his Elsa dress.

OP posts:
5madthings · 13/04/2015 20:35

I am getting married in may, Ds4 wants to wear his captain America outfit, if it's not too hot he probably will.

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 13/04/2015 20:35

So, in these areas where you can't hang your washing out on a Sunday and 4yo children who wet themselves are mocked three decades later, I'm curious to know what happens if - despite your best efforts to conform - your kids do grow up to be different? If they're gay? Or transgender? Do you get run out of town?

ICanSmellSummerComing · 13/04/2015 20:36

But if the values of the people who live in your area also include laughing and pointing at little boys for what they're wearing then, frankly, that is much more offensive than any swear word I've used on here

100% ^ This.

Island Council, Rose you don't have WickerMan Ceremonies do you? On your....Island? Grin

What are these so called values ? Confused to bury a small child under prejudice and bigorty because he might catch GAY for wanting to wear a dress? I guess you are aware :

www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/10/pink-used-common-color-boys-blue-girls/

Regardless of color, in both cases, they wore dresses

Lovely pic on that article of Franklin Roosevelt in his DRESS.

ICanSmellSummerComing · 13/04/2015 20:38
  • Do you get run out of town?

Probably tarred and feathered by the local Klan.

ahbollocks · 13/04/2015 20:39

But nelly honestly I think I would laugh, or at least flash you a grin.
In asda last week I was talking to a little girl who was spiderman while I was paying, told her not to shoor any web stuff on me and smiled at her mum.
Thats not ridicule is it?
you are a bit defensive.

RoseWithAThorn · 13/04/2015 20:45

Do you get run out of town?

Not as far as I'm aware. Our DS is gay and has never had any issues. Jelly on a lot of islands you cant do things on a Sunday. We never "conformed" we just respected the way of life. Our children are no different to any other children except I wouldn't let my DS wear an Elsa dress in public

Swipe left for the next trending thread