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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DP just text his mum "Hi lovely lady"...

148 replies

Evenhasawatermark · 13/04/2015 08:17

I know his mum is indeed a lovely lady but for him to address her like it seems a bit overly friendly. He usually uses phrases like that when slightly tipsy and is after something from me!
AIBU to find it a bit weird that he text her calling her that and then said he does it all the time?

OP posts:

notinagreatplace · 13/04/2015 20:38

I agree that she probably wasn't but I don't really get what she was implying? "Overly friendly" is such a strange thing to say about someone's relationship with their mother.

Original poster

Evenhasawatermark · 13/04/2015 20:46

I guess overly friendly as in something you would say to a friend/partner-not to a parent. As I have said though-that is why I asked-as I didn't know.

OP posts:

howlongwillthesunlast · 14/04/2015 10:50

But that is not what 'over-friendly' means though OP.
It generally means 'excessively friendly'. A parent child relationship is stronger than a friendship, therefore to complain that parent and child are 'over friendly' with each other sounds very odd.

This is why some posters suggested that what you were implying in a round about way was that their relationship was 'inappropriate'.

Sierraspider · 14/04/2015 12:48

YANBU if he calls you 'lovely lady'as well when he wants sex. That's a bit weird on his part.

Original poster

Evenhasawatermark · 14/04/2015 16:27

Maybe overly friendly was the wrong thing to say then-as I've explained-I struggle at how things are normally put between people and with how relationships in general work. I meant overly friendly as in not something you'd say to a mum.bwhich it has since been pointed out-was incorrect on my part.

To clarify, in no way do I think my DP and his mum have an incestuous relationship

OP posts:

KurriKurri · 14/04/2015 17:13

My DS wouldn't address me like that I would find it a bit unusual - I think its more something you might say to someone you didn't know quite as well as your Mum -maybe your Mum's friend or something.Hard to explain but I get what you mean Op -I think it is a little unusual. MY son is usually much ruder when he addresses me - 'Old one' is more common !!

aFirmGrip · 14/04/2015 20:03

To clarify, in no way do I think my DP and his mum have an incestuous relationship

Sorry OP, I know you've had a rough ride but that is quite a funny sentence to have to write.

DixieNormas · 14/04/2015 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Only1scoop · 14/04/2015 20:28

Exactly Dixie

Op I totally get where you are coming from.

The 'lovely lady' is a little in every sense

sbt79 · 14/04/2015 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MistressDeeCee · 14/04/2015 23:06

Don't be ridiculous, of course its not weird!! Honestly, some people's minds are warped. Nothing to do with being straight or not, either. The ignorance & will to see something nasty in a term of enearment - that is weird.

I suppose a mum can't be lovely, can she?

Pyjamaschocolateandwine · 14/04/2015 23:24

My ds texted me 'night night lovely old trout!' My dil calls me lovely lady?

WTAF!

ThenThereWereEight · 15/04/2015 00:51

OP Mumsnet can be weird at times.

EatShitDerek · 15/04/2015 01:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Failedspinster · 15/04/2015 07:39

OP I get you - my DH will start calls to his mum as "hello gorgeous" and I have to admit that I find it slightly queasy. (Especially in the context that he is the only child of a lone parent and at some points was a child carer for her, sometimes they talk to each other like partners!). I always compliment my mum and tell her if she looks nice, but I wouldn't address her as "gorgeous."

Failedspinster · 15/04/2015 07:44

Also, no one's saying his mum can't be lovely in herself, but I do think it's odd to use an endearment to his mother that he uses to his partner when he's coming on to her - and if no one else thinks that's odd I'd be surprised!

ThursdayLast · 15/04/2015 07:55

If my DH called his mum 'lovely lady' It'd be cringe-tastic. They do not have that kind of relationship. So I did not think you were BU even before all your follow up posts Even.

It sounds like something my friends cheesy 8yo would say in greeting to get a laugh

hesterton · 15/04/2015 08:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 15/04/2015 08:02

Yes agreed. People being a bunch of rude arseholes as per. Not needed.

Original poster

Evenhasawatermark · 15/04/2015 16:24

To be honest, I never thought it would be something I'd ever have to write!

I have had my first biscuitworthy thread though and have enough to fill a paper party plate

OP posts:

DixieNormas · 15/04/2015 16:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Evenhasawatermark · 15/04/2015 22:48

I never enjoy the lovely lady moments-they are all cringy and whiny!

Thanks to everyone who has posted nice things on this thread-it has ended up making me feel a lot better about how I deal with things

OP posts:

DixieNormas · 15/04/2015 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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