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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP just text his mum "Hi lovely lady"...

148 replies

Evenhasawatermark · 13/04/2015 08:17

I know his mum is indeed a lovely lady but for him to address her like it seems a bit overly friendly. He usually uses phrases like that when slightly tipsy and is after something from me!
AIBU to find it a bit weird that he text her calling her that and then said he does it all the time?

OP posts:
Ooothatsnice · 13/04/2015 13:21

My lovely stepmom calls me 'lovely lady' I don't see anything wrong with it.
I think there's something wrong with you for thinking that your husband is odd for calling his mum lovely.
It is ok op, it's actually really nice that he does that. Smile

AmyElliotDunne · 13/04/2015 13:28

Thought so AF.

Just remembered another incident OP when I got the rage because I overheard DP calling his ex 'babe' on the phone. It felt like a kick in the stomach. I told him I didn't like it and he hasn't done it again, but he has accidentally called women he works with babe in front of me Shock so I know it wasn't something specific to ex, just a term of endearment that I presumed was special to me, but apparently is just like 'love' or (god forbid!) 'hun' and can be used indiscriminately!

I don't see it as being 'jealous' of MIL, but it does somewhat trample on the boundaries of the special bond you have with your DP when you see/hear him behaving in the same way with other people. I completely understand.

MNpostingbot · 13/04/2015 14:01

He's obviously sleeping with her LTB

DixieNormas · 13/04/2015 14:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 13/04/2015 14:13

oh definitely top ten on first world problems Grin

GoblinLittleOwl · 13/04/2015 15:00

Not read previous 5 pages, but the phrase comes from 'As Time Goes By'; Alistair is always calling Judi Dench 'lovely lady'. Very flattering and entirely appropriate. Would you prefer he called her 'Mummy'?

IrianofWay · 13/04/2015 15:04

I'd like that. I get called 'Mum dude!' Hmm

QTPie · 13/04/2015 15:07

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ConfusedInBath · 13/04/2015 15:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ConfusedInBath · 13/04/2015 15:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Evenhasawatermark · 13/04/2015 15:26

Confused-I've had some great responses though to be fair. The people who obviously don't rtft before posting seem quite strange with regards to their responses. I never once mentioned incest, not liking DP's mum, not trusting DP or wanting to leave him.
Mumsnet is getting so weird! (Says the crazy lady in the corner)

OP posts:
ConfusedInBath · 13/04/2015 15:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhatIsInAUsername · 13/04/2015 15:48

Dear OP

You are not being unreasonable.

You have stated that you have bipolar disorder. This makes the brain act in an unreasonable manner.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 13/04/2015 15:54

MNers aee not weird for responding to your op the way they did.
nobody is obliged to read the full thread so if you want a response considering your bipolar condition - if it relevant- it might be better if you don't drip feed but include that detail in your op next time

Smile
nobodyknowswheremyjonnyhasgone · 13/04/2015 15:57

I hope my ds's one day call me lovely lady. I try to be lovely but you know how it goes, frequently end the day yelling like a fishwife.

To think they may one day call me lovely lady makes me smile.

OP you have been very gracious on this thread!

Original poster
Evenhasawatermark · 13/04/2015 16:40

Zing-I didn't want a response considering the fact I'm bipolar-that's why I didn't mention it. However, once I had conceded I was obviously being unreasonable and was told I sounded loopy I thought I may as well admit I am Smile

OP posts:
Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 13/04/2015 17:06

Wow this is starting to turn into a bun fight. Some people have imo been well not to put too finer point on it, quite rude. On what I think was intended to be a lighthearted threAd but I could be wrong

I have no opinions on your thread, op other than you might have been better putting it in chAt rather than aibu.
As some people clearly have NSOH.

Mehitabel6 · 13/04/2015 17:51

OP asked AIBU and the response was that she was so she conceded that she was. She posted because she didn't know. Unfortunately people don't see the need to read the thread and don't appear to think that any OP actually listens to the answers!

Crossfitmyarse · 13/04/2015 18:46

To be honest I can't take anyone seriously who would use the term 'lovely lady' as a way to address someone, rather than a description of them.

So saying 'Oh I know XXX, she is a lovely lady' is fine but to say 'Hello lovely lady' just sounds cheesy and ingratiating and all a bit naff and seedy for my liking no matter who you are saying it to.

Crossfitmyarse · 13/04/2015 18:47

Why do we keep having to mention the bipolar? It has fuck all to do with the topic of the OP.

sourpotato · 13/04/2015 20:10

My ds called me a lovely lady the other day. He is 4 though Grin

Theycallmemellowjello · 13/04/2015 20:14

If the DH only calls OP in a sexy-time context I completely get why it would be weird to find out he calls his mum it too. YANBU.

Athyrium · 13/04/2015 20:17

Even, don't fret, people dont read the other posts.

notinagreatplace · 13/04/2015 20:33

OP - if you weren't implying incest, what did you mean by 'overly friendly'? Apart from incest, I can't really understand what else that would mean?

Only1scoop · 13/04/2015 20:34

I don't think Op was implying anything like that....blimeyConfused

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