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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP just text his mum "Hi lovely lady"...

148 replies

Evenhasawatermark · 13/04/2015 08:17

I know his mum is indeed a lovely lady but for him to address her like it seems a bit overly friendly. He usually uses phrases like that when slightly tipsy and is after something from me!
AIBU to find it a bit weird that he text her calling her that and then said he does it all the time?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 13/04/2015 10:28

I found it odd as we've been together years and I've never heard him speak like that unless in a silly, loving, cuddly way.

That's how I read the text though. In a silly, loving way Smile

SilverBirch2015 · 13/04/2015 10:35

I think people reacted at first in an odd way as there was a weird thread yesterday leading to some MN hysteria, because someone had received a text from a friend saying "hi sexy". TBH your question sounded a bit like a Spoof one.

Nothing wrong with calling anyone "lovely lady". It's obviously just a term of endearment your DP uses with people he cares about. I have a female friend who uses it all the time with her friends.

AmyElliotDunne · 13/04/2015 10:57

I also thought AnyFucker's response sounded mean, as in "you don't sound lovely" - you can't just put a smiley and say it's light hearted!

But then I thought perhaps it was meant as "lovely lady is a bit mumsy anyway and he should be calling you something more appropriate, like sexy lady".

Tell him to keep lovely lady for his mum and come up with something better for you OP. I know how you feel though. My DP calls me 'little one' and 'kid' but when his DCs are around he will often say "Are you ok little one?" and I have to turn around to see who he was talking to and wait to see if one of the DCs answers first so I don't make a tit of myself if he's not talking to me!

Sbear22 · 13/04/2015 11:00

I find it a bit adorable when my dh is nice to his dm like this. It shows he knows how to treat a lady imo! I hope my ds learns to treat me as dh treats his dm!

pinningwobble · 13/04/2015 11:02

Can people stop giving the op grief now, she has just clearly said she now realises she was BU.

Royalsighness · 13/04/2015 11:02

Worry when he's sending those sort of texts to "dominos Pizza" or "voicemail" talking from personal experience!

Crossfitmyarse · 13/04/2015 11:04

I'm with the OP on this - I do think it's very odd way to address your mother. It sounds more like a cheesy chat up line. I have no problem with him being very close to his mum and speaking affectionately to her, but 'Hi lovely lady' is just an odd and slightly creepy greeting to use for your mum, even if she is very lovely.

slithytove · 13/04/2015 11:05

I text my closest friends hello lovely :) I think it's ok

Crossfitmyarse · 13/04/2015 11:06

yes your friend slithy that's different.

slithytove · 13/04/2015 11:08

I don't think so. My mum or dad could call me that and I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

AnyFucker · 13/04/2015 11:17

Amy, it was the second option

Just trying to inject a bit of lightheartedness, but obviously got the tone wrong Blush

lottiegarbanzo · 13/04/2015 11:22

It's all about what's normal within your family, so whether this was out of character. It is odd to use what is normally a term of affection reserved for your wife, in private, with your mother!

Could just be a slip in concentration or he's relaxing / expanding his useage of that term, or, adopting it more widely because that is more 'usual' in the wider population these days than it used to be (I hadn't comes cross this term in conversation five years ago, all sorts of people use it now).

Whether other people think 'lovely lady' is a normal way to address their mother or friend is neither here nor there though. Is it normal for him?

I'd be astounded if DP addressed his mother thus! So would she.

Only1scoop · 13/04/2015 11:22

Yes

Likewise I think

SunnyBaudelaire · 13/04/2015 11:22

what do you mean 'over friendly' ?
Are you suggesting that they are having an incestuous relationship?
Or what?

Original poster
Evenhasawatermark · 13/04/2015 11:25

Anyfucker-the harsh was for being called jealous-I've seen how you write on a lot of threads and understood your tone Smile

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 13/04/2015 11:26

That's good Thanks

DixieNormas · 13/04/2015 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SunnyBaudelaire · 13/04/2015 11:47

lol cba

MagicMojito · 13/04/2015 11:50

Fwiw, I don't think you were being unreasonable to question it(it sounds a bit ick to me), but then im just as fucked as you in regards to social interaction tis why I interact with people as little as humanly possible Grin

I agree with pp who have advised you to hide the thread now. I doubt any good can come from reading it further!

AnyFucker · 13/04/2015 11:53

Sunny ugh

LikeIcan · 13/04/2015 11:54

YANBU - sounds a bit creepy tbh.

SunnyBaudelaire · 13/04/2015 11:54

what anyfucker? is ugh some kind of modern acronym? or are you disgusted with my teen speak?

Trinpy · 13/04/2015 11:57

I would find it a bit odd because I've only ever heard 'lovely lady' used by slimy types trying to chat women up, so I don't think ywbu to question it. But seems from this thread that lots of people use it in a non slimy way too Smile.

Sheitgeist · 13/04/2015 12:13

I would cringe if my DH called his mum that (he usually doesn't call her anything; 'mum' if pushed), as he would if I called my mum that.

That's not to say that anyone is being U or not U... just that different families have different ways of interacting, so when others we are close to do it differently it can seem odd.
I also think it sounds like a cheesy chat up line, and if your DP uses it on you when he is after something, then yes, I'd find it weird, too.

I think YANBU

LikeIcan · 13/04/2015 12:30

Op is defo not being unreasonable - I can't believe so many people think it's normal or even nice?

It's creepy & weird.