DP WASTING FOOD

[WibblyWobblyHead]

I'm a SAHM so usually make DP's dinner ready for when he comes home.

Sometimes he'll buy food and eat it on the way home then tell me that he's not hungry cos he's eaten so the food I've cooked goes in the bin wasted.
All I ask is for him to give me a text and tell me not to cook if he's eaten to save me wasting my time preparing and cooking it for it then to be thrown away. He's self employed and works alone so has no excuse about not being able to text at work.

If I haven't cooked and he gets home and there's nothing prepared he moans and groans that he's starving!

He thinks I'm being unreasonable for wanting him to give me 1 text to let me know either way when he's "so busy at work and hasn't got time to be texting" (even though he checks in on FB etc....)
We haven't got much money as it is so to have food wasted constantly is really starting to irritate me!

AIBU?

I would be pissed off at that in my 13yrold, never mind a fully grown man.
He is being horribly disrespectful.

What an utter cock. You must realise he's a cock?

Trashcanjunkie

Yes at times!

He sounds like my DH, a bit. (Not the eating a takeaway & then failing to let you know, but the only wanting chips/rubbish food, and saying "anything" & then complaining at what you make for him.) I mostly let DH sort his own food out now, I'm done with the whole matter. But he does it, mostly without complaint, and recognises that it's his issue & for him to deal with.

If money is tight his buying (duplicate) things at no doubt a convenince food premium, it must be killing any budget you've got. Is the food the problem here?

He sounds like a complete wanker. Sorry, but he does.

He usually throws it away not me, he won't eat food if it's been left for a few hours let alone the next day

If my OH did this to me he'd not get any of my meals again. Let him sort his own food out from now on. What I don't understand is - he knows he gets dinner so why buy stuff in the first place?

You cook him meals that he then bins because he's eaten junk on the way home? What the actual fuck? Please stop cooking for him!!

At times, you say?

Is this the only issue?

He can't be bothered to spend 30 seconds texting you, wastes your household budget on unnecessary convenience food/takeaways, and throws away a perfectly good meal that you have gone to the trouble of making.Stop cooking for him. I certainly wouldn't be pandering to someone who is princessy enough to turn up their nose at less than a day old leftovers.

Stop cooking for him. End of.

Definitely stop cooking for him. Not even 'text me if you want food', just let him sort himself out. But his junk food should come out of his personal spending money, not the household budget.

Yeah I'd just stop. that way the whole thing is averted.

Tell him to face book you if he want a meal. Otherwise you will presume he will have eaten

He usually throws it away not me, he won't eat food if it's been left for a few hours let alone the next day, he's so fussyand I can't eat it the next day because we eat different things, he prefers chips and rubbish food, which I can't exactly freeze either.

So, not only do you cook for him, but you cook different meals for him than what you cook for yourself? Forget that. I wouldn't cook for him anymore.

Yes, stop cooking for him. Then his meals are completely controlled by him, which seems to be what he wants. And don't start again until he begs you to, on bended knee, preferably accompanied by a present of expensive jewellery to show how utterly remorseful he is for taking your culinary efforts for granted. He'll be able to afford it as you'll have saved so much on the household budget from not wasting so much food.

You know it's true

I'd be giving him frozen pizza or egg on toast or something if you still feel like you need to cook for him.

Waaaay back in my relationship my dp complained about the food, after a fortnight of me doing nothing for him he now eats anything that is put in front with him .

Work it out financially and show him exactly how much money he's wasting per day, per week, per month and per year by doing this.

He's probably only seeing it as a one-off event every time he does it and therefore doesn't appreciate the full cost of his actions.

Then involve him in meal planning and buying food, batch-cooking which is designed to be reheated, all stews, casseroles, curries etc. taste much better the next day anyway.

OR

Give him half the weekly food budget and tell him to self-cater, once it's gone, it's gone.

I wonder if he has a mild food issue? Some cleanliness thing? Anyway, he certainly has a rudeness issue.

TBH there is no definite 'I am a SAHP and therefore I cook for everyone'. Obviously it is usually a good combination of roles but it doesn't have to be that way. Just stop for a bit and see if that works better. Review in the autumn.

Sounds like someone I know had the misfortune to be married to. And he was an abusive git.

It was purely a control issue, in that case. Not eating what had been bought/prepared, buying takeaways out of limited funds, leaving all the responsibility for organising food to someone else then it not being good enough.

I'd stop playing the game, personally. Let him sort himself out.

Hope he has other redeeming features.

Ah, he likes chips and rubbish food, then he can wait for the 30mins while it's cooking straight from the freezer. And eat it while you eat something delicious opposite him....

Yes. Loaf of bread, multipack of beans, box of eggs. If he wants dinner when he gets in, it shouldn't take more than 5 minutes for him to cook it, will it. He'll soon realise he had it good before, and start acting more reasonably.

YANBU

Tell your DP that you are no longer cooking for him as he is so disrespectful towards you about this.

Is he a decent partner apart from this or is he generally selfish?