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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP WASTING FOOD

133 replies

WibblyWobblyHead · 12/04/2015 19:47

I'm a SAHM so usually make DP's dinner ready for when he comes home.

Sometimes he'll buy food and eat it on the way home then tell me that he's not hungry cos he's eaten so the food I've cooked goes in the bin wasted.
All I ask is for him to give me a text and tell me not to cook if he's eaten to save me wasting my time preparing and cooking it for it then to be thrown away. He's self employed and works alone so has no excuse about not being able to text at work.

If I haven't cooked and he gets home and there's nothing prepared he moans and groans that he's starving!

He thinks I'm being unreasonable for wanting him to give me 1 text to let me know either way when he's "so busy at work and hasn't got time to be texting" (even though he checks in on FB etc....)
We haven't got much money as it is so to have food wasted constantly is really starting to irritate me!

AIBU?

OP posts:
FabULouse · 12/04/2015 20:18

This reply has been deleted

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Aridane · 12/04/2015 20:18

YABU for throwing the food away.

Norfolkandchance1234 · 12/04/2015 20:20

Cook food that can be reheated or cook nothing at all.

Yanbu I can assure you.

I would walk out the door as soon as he steps in and go off and do something like go for a swim, gym, pop over to a friends etc and let him sort out his own dinner.

Only1scoop · 12/04/2015 20:22

Yanbu to be annoyed

Yabu to even consider cooking for this disrespectful idiot until he stops treating you like this and wasting your time and food.

gamerchick · 12/04/2015 20:24

I would say have it the next day but his attitude says get his own tea.

Tell him until he's ready to compromise he'll be cooking for himself from now on.

When the husband is doing his mega long shifts I just do a big slow cooker thimg and he'll choose when he gets in. Then it can be portioned and stuck in the freezer if he can't eat. But his attitude doesn't suck.

ScathingContempt · 12/04/2015 20:24

I would leave it for him for the next day, and the next and the next, even if he kept buying stuff out.

The bonus is the next night, you can make a meal he doesn't like. I have this rule with my teens - if they don't tell me early enough, it gets saved for tomorrow. Regardless whether it is edible or not - that's their problem.

GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 12/04/2015 20:27

When I first moved in with exp and was eager to impress, I would often make and plate him up dinner when he was on night shifts. I would often cook him meat despite me being veggie. It would always be still sat on the side the next day, and his excuse was that he was too tired to eat when he got in. Then one day I borrowed his car and a load of KFC and mcd's packaging fell out of the car - and he sorted out his own fucking dinners from then on - he is now an ex!

LittleMissRayofHope · 12/04/2015 20:27

ExH did this. Fucking annoyed me.

He would also call to say he was on his way home and had 'picked up a chicken' like a rotisserie chicken. The amount of time he would get home with a bloody chicken and I'd have made dinner earlier in the day..... He wouldn't then eat his fucking chicken while I ate whatever I had cooked!
which meant left overs so easy lunch and often some left over chicken which made nice sandwiches but wasn't the point!!

annabelcaramel · 12/04/2015 20:28

What does he think you should do, assuming that you have no functioning crystal ball?? Seriously, on the days he's already eaten, what does he say about the fact you have prepared a meal? I assume he too is aware of the tight finances? Does he think you should wait till he gets home??

J62 · 12/04/2015 20:29

Same probloblem here. In the end stopped leaving leftovers but made sure have basics in house eg cold chicken, bread,eggs,, rice, pasta, veg , sauces etc so he can make quick meal when gets home.

Purplepoodle · 12/04/2015 20:31

Stop cooking for him. Leave precooked stuff in freezer so he can ping it (I usually make extra chilli ect and freeze)

scarletforya · 12/04/2015 20:33

I don't understand why you're binning it either. That's really wasteful. Cover, refrigerate and let him nuke it later.

unlucky83 · 12/04/2015 20:34

YANBU - just stop cooking for him - DP also has been know to go out to eg visit a friend, not saying when he'll be back and then turn up having eaten ...or just as I am serving up and be upset if there isn't enough for him... I just don't cook for him anymore - if there is enough of what DCs and I are eating and he wants some he can have some - otherwise he sorts himself out (and sometimes will eg do pasta pesto for the DCs).
It doesn't help that the DCs are fussy as hell at the moment, I don't like a lot of what DP likes -he doesn't like what I or DCs like - so we are all happier this way ...(I should say he is a chef -so cooking is no big deal for him)
He is also dreadful for not worrying about food wastage - he will cook eg enough rice for 20 people...put the left over in the fridge -but the next day he'll cook noodles or pasta or potatoes. Or he will have lots of cooked pasta in the fridge and not check and cook more... If I say anything he will say he didn't fancy it - and it is cheap anyway Angry
I'm furious with him about some pork loin steaks at the moment - they were in the freezer, he took them out thinking they were chicken breast, when he realised they weren't he didn't want to eat them (he's not keen on pork) so left them in the fridge -by the time I spotted them they were well past their best -he said they'd be all right with a strong sauce for the DCs...Hmm Angry

I've cooked them for the cat...

Original poster
WibblyWobblyHead · 12/04/2015 20:37

He usually throws it away not me, he won't eat food if it's been left for a few hours let alone the next day, he's so fussyand I can't eat it the next day because we eat different things, he prefers chips and rubbish food, which I can't exactly freeze either.

He will cook if I don't feel like it but does the same as someone said up thread, cook for about 10 people when there's two of us and a baby, so I'd rather do it myself to save food!

He's just as bad when he's at home, I ask him what he fancies and he always says the same thing "anything, I don't mind what we have" so I cook "anything" then he moans about it or wastes it "I didn't fancy it" or "we always have that"

OP posts:
ThingummyJigg · 12/04/2015 20:38

Tell him you'll cook for him if he texts you to ask. Otherwise you'll assume he's gone to the shop.

HolgerDanske · 12/04/2015 20:40

Stop cooking for him. Seriously, he can cook for himself, especially since you don't even eat the same foods...

ThingummyJigg · 12/04/2015 20:42

sorry x posts

he needs to text you exactly what he would like, please Wibbly, otherwise he can please himself

Also, don't oven chips and most 'rubbish food' cook in about half an hour? If he texts you to put the oven on 15 minutes before he's home, then he can load it up with rubbish when he gets in.

Basically, he's being a PITA about your cooking for him. Which is a crap way to treat someone, and as your cooking clearly isn't to his taste Hmm what better solution than for him to cook his own meals for himself?

TinklyLittleLaugh · 12/04/2015 20:43

He sounds about three, and like a three year old, he'll behave as badly as you let him behave. Stop cooking for him until he starts showing you more respect.

BabyGanoush · 12/04/2015 20:46

Bloody hell he sounds ungrateful and rude!

Why pander to it, why why why???!!!

Stop being a martyr, just give up on cooking for him!

LineRunner · 12/04/2015 20:49

OH has older teens and one young adult at home. He does this:

Cooks a dinner late afternoon. Plates up. Covers.

All persons are welcome to heat up their dinner when they come home / in from work / feel like eating.

It will still be there the next day.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 12/04/2015 20:49

You have to kill him Wink

hettie · 12/04/2015 20:50

Simples- stop cooking for the ungrateful idiot....

PurpleSwift · 12/04/2015 20:51

YABU I think, unless he's asking you to make food then buying/eating anyway. Ask him to text when he does want something, and don't make him anything otherwise.

expatinscotland · 12/04/2015 20:53

Stop cooking for him.

HazleNutt · 12/04/2015 20:54

wow he sounds like a 3-year old. Tell him that unless he texts you that he would like some dinner, you will assume he does not. And don't cook.