Is it suddenly ok to smoke in these circumstances?

[BeanCalledPickle]

Restaurant at lunch. Extremely busy place with no chance of sitting anywhere other than booked table. They pack them in and we were at a small table with our elbows virtually touching the couple next door. They had a packet of fags on the table but I didn't think much of it. I used to smoke a lot but wouldn't have done while in such close proximity to people eating and also to someone three weeks off her due date which is my current state!

Ordered and food quickly turns up. Two mins after we start eating they light up. They are inches away and so I politely ask if they would mind not smoking. They react with 'oh that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. We are outside!!' To which I just politely say that I'm sorry to inconvenience them but I would like to eat without being in a cloud of smoke especially as I'm pregnant.

They huff and puff ( but do put their fags out) while we eat and because they are sat so close we are acutely aware of the comments and the moaning. They ask for the bill same time as us but then send it back and ask for more wine when they realise we are leaving. Many more comments about how they can now enjoy themselves.

I thought I had been reasonable in asking them politely not to smoke but when I mentioned this to friends later they said I should have sucked it up as we were outside and so its ok. Is it ok now? I wouldn't have done that in my smoking days. Not in such close proximity to anyone, especially not a massive pregnant woman! Am I just being over sensitive at the moment??

No, YANBU, I'm a smoker and would not light up in that close a proximity to anyone - eating, pregnant notwithstanding.

They were inconsiderate but doing nothing illegal.

At least they had the decency to put out their cigarette.

I think if there are people eating around you then it is rude even if outside. I'm not a smoker though and they do seem like they think they can smoke wherever they like. A girl on our train tried to light up on the train in Saturday and got very arsey when told she couldn't.

YANBU. We were at a local adventure park today, clear signage stating it's no smoking throughout but with two cordoned off areas for smokers, with seating. I was shocked by the amount of people puffing away and just chucking down their fag butt anywhere they fancied including in the woodland. Some people are just selfish.

YANBU. It's rude and inconsiderate.

I'm a smoker and I wouldn't have smoked that close to someone but other smokers may feel differently
It

Was it a designated smoking area? If so, then it's allowed (though inconsiderate).
If you book a table you should really specify a no smoking area if that's what you want.

Not a designated area, just an outside terrace. No ashtrays etc. I didn't think it was illegal. Just a bit in your face.

No idea if it's a thing now for smokers to do that, but presumably they had booked a table outside because they wanted to smoke. And they put their cigarettes out when asked, so not sure what your issue is?

Well they weren't breaking the law so it's OK in that sense. From an etiquette POV you'd think that people would be politer, especially as you were pregnant. Those two sound pretty rude, but they did stop when asked.

Tbh I feel a bit sorry for smokers. It isn't illegal yet.

If it's a smoking section then you have to expect that people will smoke. Etiquette aside that's the reality and it's unreasonable to moan if you're in this section. Smokers get marginalised enough as it is and to moan about smoking in a section where it's permitted will unsurprisingly get a reaction.

Saying that as a smoker myself I think it's a bit churlish of the smokers to make such a song and dance about it in the way you've described. If it were me I wouldn't be bothered and would probably put out my ciggie or stand away from the table somewhere. Although it doesn't bother me when people smoke while I eat I know it can really bother other people so if someone had an issue with it (assuming they asked in a polite manner) I'd be inclined to stop for them.

Yeah my issue was really with the reaction, the comments and the ongoing commentary afterwards. Not so much the smoking itself. I'm
Being precious because it was our last meal out before a new baby and we were paying for a babysitter etc so I felt like I Must Enjoy Myself!

Hmm, I'm a bit torn because I imagine most smokers would book outside tables in order to smoke. If you are pregnant and wanted to be completely away from smoke you really should have booked an inside table.

Yeah probably should have done. It really didn't occur to me. Brain left me a few weeks back:-)

It's really tough. I'm an ex smoker. The thing I think non smokers maybe don't appriciate is they think smoking is a pleasure, or a indulgence to smokers. No, smoking is what smokers do. 10 a day, 20, whatever their level is, they smoke it. Not smoking makes them anxious, irritable and maybe a touch irrational. They smoke all day. They are very limited in when and how they can do this do to have their "thing" curtailed further is highly highly annoying.

Now, I think the nice thing would've been for them to maybe take their wine into the street to smoke but that IS a bit grim for them. And the reality is, this instance isn't going to harm your baby so they probably think you're being precious. They would not have thought that you don't like it for other reasons- the smell, feeling sick etc.

Not trying to say you're being U. I think it was one of those situations And didn't end well for anyone. Chalk it up to a bad experience

I'm not a smoker (anymore) but I do accept that if I sit outside in areas where smoking is permitted then I'm going to have to accept smoking. The people you encountered do come across as rather churlish though.

What's becoming ever more prevalent round here is the extension of non-smoking areas to include outside tables that are on restaurant premises. This does at least mean that everyone can eat in the fresh air without coming into conflict over smoking.

Equally they wanted to enjoy themselves, booked outside to be able to smoke. Might have been their last time out before a big event, too, who knows.

They did stop for you, but it spoiled their evening a bit, so cut them some slack for a moan.

I know I'll get my arse kicked but I think even outdoor areas should be non smoking. Smoking at meal times is rank

Outside I'd have sucked it up.

If you are pregnant and wanted to be completely away from smoke you really should have booked an inside table.

Actually it's irritating that to get a smoke free atmosphere we now have to be inside. While smokers think it's free reign outside and forget all manners.

As an ex smoker, I think I probably would have said on being asked to stop smoking by a pregnant person "oh sorry, yes, let me finish this one first" and stopped after that. Especially as the tables were so close together and people were eating. So YWNBU.

YANBU. Even when I used to smoke I wouldn't want to eat a meal in a cloud of smoke (and if you're that close even when outside you'll be in a cloud of smoke). So I certainly wouldn't inflict it on anyone else, pregnant or not. I'm surprised smoking was permitted in a restaurant even if it was outside.

I don't think you were unreasonable. I'm an ex-smoker who still feels very strongly in favour of others right to smoke if they want to. In a restaurant, however, I think it's just common courtesy to respect the fact that other people - pregnant or otherwise - don't necessarily want second hand smoke blowing over them.

rein even, although they probably thing it's their reign outside too. :)

Presumably they booked an outside table so they could have a smoke after their meal.

I understand you didn't like it, but I also think if you can't stand to be around smoke then go somewhere it's not an issue. There are far more options in this regard to non smokers.