Is it suddenly ok to smoke in these circumstances?

[BeanCalledPickle]

Restaurant at lunch. Extremely busy place with no chance of sitting anywhere other than booked table. They pack them in and we were at a small table with our elbows virtually touching the couple next door. They had a packet of fags on the table but I didn't think much of it. I used to smoke a lot but wouldn't have done while in such close proximity to people eating and also to someone three weeks off her due date which is my current state!

Ordered and food quickly turns up. Two mins after we start eating they light up. They are inches away and so I politely ask if they would mind not smoking. They react with 'oh that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. We are outside!!' To which I just politely say that I'm sorry to inconvenience them but I would like to eat without being in a cloud of smoke especially as I'm pregnant.

They huff and puff ( but do put their fags out) while we eat and because they are sat so close we are acutely aware of the comments and the moaning. They ask for the bill same time as us but then send it back and ask for more wine when they realise we are leaving. Many more comments about how they can now enjoy themselves.

I thought I had been reasonable in asking them politely not to smoke but when I mentioned this to friends later they said I should have sucked it up as we were outside and so its ok. Is it ok now? I wouldn't have done that in my smoking days. Not in such close proximity to anyone, especially not a massive pregnant woman! Am I just being over sensitive at the moment??

I don't think you were unreasonable. The whole attitude of "you're a non-smoker, sit indoors" is not particularly fair, especially in restaurants. I can't understand why people should have to put up with smoke because they happen to be outside, and I agree with the previous poster who thinks smoking should be banned inside and outside at eateries.

As a non-smoker, I understand what a pp said about how important cigarettes are to smokers but I don't think smokers understand how horrid smoking is to non-smokers sometimes. Particularly when eating, it really is disgusting having everything you put in your mouth tinged with second hand smoke

I think if you sit outside you have to accept that some people may smoke. That said, a considerate smoker (and I am one) wouldn't light up right as people start eating and either go away from the table or wait till people had finished eating.

Neither of you were BU, but it was clearly a no-win situation for both of you.

"I'd have sucked it up" literally in this case expat..

I remember my SIL being horrified that someone was smoking in the same beer garden as her pfb last summer. She couldn't believe that anyone would do that. I had to explain that since families and non-smokers have taken over pubs the beer garden is now for smokers and she can't have it both ways.

So you booked an outside table, which was obviously the 'smoking area' and then were surprised when people wanted to smoke? YABU

I don't know -'I have sympathy for you and the smokers...

blue that's up to the restaurant really. If they want to cater for a section of their guests who smoke then they're entitled to provide an outdoor smoking area.
Guests who don't want to breathe in 2nd hand smoke can ask for a table in the non smoking area.

It's not a smoking area as such though. It's a terrace. Without ashtrays. I couldn't have asked to be in the non smoking area as they don't have one. They just have inside and outside.

And they put their cigarettes out when asked, so not sure what your issue is?

Perhaps that they shouldn't have needed to be asked, and that they were chuntering and moaning about it?

I understand you didn't like it, but I also think if you can't stand to be around smoke then go somewhere it's not an issue. There are far more options in this regard to non smokers.

But why should non smokers be prevented from eating outside?

It's not even clear that this actually was a smoking area. If the restaurant intended that they would probably have provided ashtrays.

Wouldn't be too much trouble for restaurants to sign post a smoking and a non-smoking area. It would stop a lot of upset.

I think smoking is now so restricted that to restrict it further is just unreasonable.

I understand you, I became very sensitive to smoke when I was pg, even not very close by smoking bothered me, but seeing as all I had to do was be inside to be away from it I never asked anyone else to stop for my sake.

I used to smoke a bit scially, not so much now but I'd still have a sneaky fag over a long boozy lunch if I was pissed enough to duck off and grab a pack someone offered me one, but I wouldn't dream of lighting up where there were people eating at tables right next to me, let alone next to someone who was visibly pregnant. I can't believe people think it's okay. A pub beer garden is a bit different, there's more room to make sure you're not blowing smoke right in people's faces.

I think smoking areas should be set away from eating areas even if outside.

It's rude. Yanbu

As someone who smokes very little and is very considerate, I actually get quite annoyed by some of the anti brigade.

I don't have a problem with being made to smoke outside. What I do have a problem with is antis who think that no-one should be allowed to smoke anywhere, ever. And think their position as an anti entitles them to lecture me or try and dictate where outside I cannot smoke.

Yes, if you smoke, you should be considerate and not do it right next to where someone is eating. But if it's an outdoor area, the table next to you isn't eating and smoking isn't explicitly forbidden then I think you have to deal with it.

They were outside and not their fault you sat there.
Sorry love, but I'd have told you to do one.
I think they were very reasonable, you must live in a nice area.

Am shocked! I must live in a time warp. I had no idea people were allowed to smoke in restaurants!

Ah. I see it was outside. Even so ... I didn't realise one could smoke in any public area that food was being served in.

I don't think I get out enough.

This is why anti-smokers SHOULD support vaping/e-cigarettes - it's in everyone's interest to replace harmful passive/smoking with the water vapour from a vaping thingy.

'I think smoking areas should be set away from eating areas even if outside.'

Some places don't have enough space for this.

There's a lovely cafe near me with a terrace looking on to the beach and massive bifold doors. We sadly can't face going in summer because Ben sat inside the cigarette smoke from the terrace wafts in to the main restaurant through the open doors. Similar problem - not illegal but disgusting. I think New York has it right on smoking, from what I understand it's basically illegal everywhere public. (Feel free to correct me but I won't care, I'm not coming back to check I just wanted my chance to use up some vitriol against arrogant and frankly disgusting smokers)

I smoke but wouldnt smoke in an outside eating area its just rude and antisocial

I think yabu. If you were sitting in the smoking area of course you are!

I think that it was nice of them to put out their cigarettes as they were perfectly free and entitled to smoke

In effect, you wanted your comfort to be placed above theirs.

YABU