Is it suddenly ok to smoke in these circumstances?

[BeanCalledPickle]

Restaurant at lunch. Extremely busy place with no chance of sitting anywhere other than booked table. They pack them in and we were at a small table with our elbows virtually touching the couple next door. They had a packet of fags on the table but I didn't think much of it. I used to smoke a lot but wouldn't have done while in such close proximity to people eating and also to someone three weeks off her due date which is my current state!

Ordered and food quickly turns up. Two mins after we start eating they light up. They are inches away and so I politely ask if they would mind not smoking. They react with 'oh that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. We are outside!!' To which I just politely say that I'm sorry to inconvenience them but I would like to eat without being in a cloud of smoke especially as I'm pregnant.

They huff and puff ( but do put their fags out) while we eat and because they are sat so close we are acutely aware of the comments and the moaning. They ask for the bill same time as us but then send it back and ask for more wine when they realise we are leaving. Many more comments about how they can now enjoy themselves.

I thought I had been reasonable in asking them politely not to smoke but when I mentioned this to friends later they said I should have sucked it up as we were outside and so its ok. Is it ok now? I wouldn't have done that in my smoking days. Not in such close proximity to anyone, especially not a massive pregnant woman! Am I just being over sensitive at the moment??

'I'm not coming back to check I just wanted my chance to use up some vitriol against arrogant and frankly disgusting smokers)'

Hope you feel better now .

I'm a 20 a day smoker. If I am at a restaurant or pub and there were people eating I move away. I am very aware of the smell and get very paranoid about it.

My husband smokes. He wouldn't move Away. He wouldn't think about lighting up and I am always pulling him up on it

The sad fact is that lots of smokers do think that their need to smoke trumps everyone else's comfort and safety.

YWNBU, OP, but many smokers are selfish and think it's their 'right' to smoke wherever they wish.

A number of countries are now introducing laws which prevent people from smoking outside if someone in the vicinity objects. I think that's the right way to go.

Frankly, I think that smoking is more harmful than hardcore pornography - only one of the two kills. And, I think smoking should be treated similarly - strictly for use in one's own home.

'Frankly, I think that smoking is more harmful than hardcore pornography - only one of the two kills.'

And you think hardcore porn doesn't? Are you for real? I cannot believe anyone can be this stupidly ignorant about harcore porn and the huge human toll it extracts - slavery, human traffiking, rape, abuse, child rape, child abuse and scores of lives, in the UK alone it's been tied to numerous murders.

In effect, you wanted your comfort to be placed above theirs.

And why not? If people go to a restaurant, it is fairly self-evident that they don't want to eat in a fug of smoke with their eyes smarting, and they don't want to leave stinking of smoke. If others insist on smoking near them rather than waiting or moving away, it's supremely selfish.

Blimey, I didn't think the smoking hysteria could possibly be cranked up any further.

Until ramanoop hit the ball waaaaaay out of the park

OP, when I used to smoke I wouldn't have lit up in such close proximity to you when you were eating.

However, it's a bit mad that smokers were driven outside by non smokers and now lots of non smokers are getting arsey that people are smoking outside.

How harmful is sitting nearby someone whom is smoking, whilst outdoors, for an hour, really?

I doubt that it will end anyone's life.

A large proportion of the world will be no travel for you given these views

However, it's a bit mad that smokers were driven outside by non smokers and now lots of non smokers are getting arsey that people are smoking outside.

Smokers haven't been driven outside. Only if they want to smoke.
But non smokers are getting driven inside, yes, so that they aren't met with clouds of smoke.
I don't like to breathe car fumes directly from the exhaust, and I don't like to breathe in smoke directly from a smoker.

How harmful is sitting nearby someone whom is smoking, whilst outdoors, for an hour, really? I doubt that it will end anyone's life.

Conversely, it should be perfectly possible to sit outside for one hour without smoking.
It won't kill you. :)

YANBU: you were not sitting in "the smoking area", you were sitting in the outside area.

Actually it's irritating that to get a smoke free atmosphere we now have to be inside. While smokers think it's free reign outside and forget all manners.

Yes, I bet you were thinking this exact thing all winter long. Not just now, when it's turned nice and sunny.

Non-smokers wanted smoking banned in "enclosed public spaces", so now it is. You got what you wanted! No smoking in stations, on train platforms, in pubs, clubs, cinemas, trains, buses, offices, restaurants, shops...

Where did you all think smokers would go???!

Also an ex smoker here. I never lit up at a restaurant even outside. I'd have a cigarette before or after a meal. Unless you're on 40 a day you can surely last an hour without smoking? And even if it's that hard just go off away from everyone, christ. The walk will do you some good.

Ici
If you are in an area where smoking is allowed and the people choose to make use of this allowance I fail to see how they are selfish.
Far from it.
Asking someone to refrain from something that they enjoy and are allowed to do simply because it doesn't suit you is selfish

The OP could have waited for an indoor table or have asked to have been moved.

Instead she expected her wishes to be paramount with the expectation of the other people doing what she wanted.
They did so but how awful that they chuntered a little about it

She was and is being unreasonable

Smokers haven't been driven outside. Only if they want to smoke.

Well yes, that's clearly what I meant

But non smokers are getting driven inside, yes, so that they aren't met with clouds of smoke.
I don't like to breathe car fumes directly from the exhaust, and I don't like to breathe in smoke directly from a smoker.

Right so you don't like to put your mouth and nose directly into an exhaust pipe, and you don't like to go mouth to mouth with a smoker exhaling smoke, thus sucking the smoke directly from them?

I'd say that was pretty normal, wouldn't you?

However, the smoker in question didn't blow it directly into the OP's mouth.

"And you think hardcore porn doesn't? Are you for real? I cannot believe anyone can be this stupidly ignorant about harcore porn and the huge human toll it extracts - slavery, human traffiking, rape, abuse, child rape, child abuse and scores of lives, in the UK alone it's been tied to numerous murders."

Because, of course, tobacco farming is all sunshine and rainbows.

Yanbu!

I also hate that smokers seem to assume that because they are outside they are in some sort of smoking area.

People who don't smoke also like to eat outside in the nicer weather. Also it is still possible to be exposed to passive smoke when outside too, especially in situations similar to what you describe op.

Restaurants with outside terraces should have a designated area for smokers based on all of the above. Otherwise all the smokers will be outside and all the non smokers inside and that is not fair.

I fully admit to hating cigarettes and the smell of cigarette smoke. I couldn't eat a meal with someone next to me smoking...ok maybe I could but it would ruin the meal. The smell is disgusting.

Yes, I bet you were thinking this exact thing all winter long. Not just now, when it's turned nice and sunny.

Yes, those have been my exact concerns all winter. Particularly because I live in a country where it can be nice to sit outside all year round. And I often go outside for a stroll with my smoking colleague after lunch. She is careful enough not to blow smoke in our direction.

Actually the closest I have been to that was when sitting inside once and the smoke from the outside came in. I didn't see much point in smoking outside if the person was puffing in the direction of the door.

However, the smoker in question didn't blow it directly into the OP's mouth.

You don't have to be mouth to mouth, or mouth to pipe.
Within a metre is bad enough. Particularly if the wind blows it all in your direction. In fact, the OP could be getting more smoke than the smokers.

I "love it" when smokers put down their cigs away from themselves, but upwind from me, and I get it all in my direction, but they don't even feel it.
Yes, I'm looking at you football parents.

I'm not a smoker.

I think that people act ridiculously around smokers.

I never suggested that the smokers couldn't sit for an hour without smoking.
I'm suggesting that they shouldn't be expected to do so.
Actually if they are allowed to smoke in that area, in that establishment, they shouldn't have to wait at all to smoke if they so desire.
Their rights to smoke are greater than those non smokers rights to not allow smoking in that situation.
The non smoker can express a preference but the smoker can happily turn it down and put their wants first.

In an outdoor situation, where smoking is allowed - expect smoking.
If you don't like it go elsewhere.

You don't have to be mouth to mouth, or mouth to pipe.

You were talking about breathing it directly in, so yes you would.

Are we splitting hairs now?

I can go directly from home to work without them being door to door.

Lots of smoker hating threads lately.

Topped it with this one though... Simultaneous eating and pregnancy. Clever.

I would have told you to go inside, it's my right to smoke, blah blah blah.

A few cafes and reasturants round about my area i noticed last summer had non smoking outside areas thats a really good idea smoking ispretty revolting even outside and if you are eating its horrible why shouldnt non smokers sit outside and enjoy their lunch or whatever. If somebody was sitting next to you pissed and being anti social you would want them to move.

Sure, it's our right to do whatever we please whenever we please.

Or is it?