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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say something about this choice of baby name

550 replies

horrifiednamechanger · 10/04/2015 20:33

DB and SIL are expecting their first baby. The baby is long awaited and I'm delighted for them obviously.

But, SIL they have decided to call the baby Charmaine (yes, spelt like that) and to make matters worse SIL seems to pronounce it almost 'char' rather than the kind of French style 'shar'. It almost sounds like she is ordering a take away.

Anyway upon hearing this news I had to bite my tongue so hard it practically bled. I don't think I did a very good job of hiding my horror surprise.

DB and myself have rather naice upbringing and our DM was a huge bit of a snob, not quite Hyacinth Bucket but not far off. I am fully prepared to accept I have inherited DM's views and IBU.... but I am also sure this would not be DB first or last choice of name, but he is known to 'go with the flow' and 'not cause waves' because SIL can be quite strong willed.

IABU to hate the name and WIBU to say something?

OP posts:
neverletgojack · 10/04/2015 22:30

Aisha doesn't sound bad to me. (Believe me, In live in a council estate) I hear all sorts of weird and wonderful combinations...like Saylor-Doll for example. I wish I was joking

squoosh · 10/04/2015 22:30

Professor Charmaine Childs - Professor of Clinical Science looks traumatised by her name. Just traumatised.

Maybe that's why one of her research interests is Trauma.

ilovemargaretatwood8931 · 10/04/2015 22:31

DH is not a snob at all and even he couldn't believe it when I told him, he said "it's a bit council estate isn't it?", (the ironic thing is our house backs onto an estate and it is a perfectly nice place to live).

Well, that means he is a snob then. What a mean spirited and snobbish thing to say. Nothing 'ironic' about it either, it's just nasty.

And what on earth is wrong with your sil or her daughter having a double barrelled name? Why does that upset you?

I had was in tears earlier, this is just an awful situation and I almost feel I have to say something to protect DN's future.

This makes me think you might be having a joke, but if you're not, I think you need to get a grip!
If you wrote that 'in tears' line because there was domestic violence or massive drug use in the home of your sil and db, that would make a lot of sense.
But no, you were in tears because of a name choice of a much wated baby, (that's a normal and acceptable name, just not to your taste), that seems very ott...

Original poster
horrifiednamechanger · 10/04/2015 22:32

It seems many agree it is a horrible name, but most think IWBU to say anything. I will have to think about it, I'm don't think I can say nothing. Sad

Only1scoop
No I am not jealous. I have 4 of my own with proper names

OP posts:
Asleeponasunbeam · 10/04/2015 22:33

You really need to tell us the names of your own children now, OP, so we can help you make an informed decision...

Yonkersdoodle · 10/04/2015 22:34

oh. I had a smidgen of sympathy with you until that with proper names. Now I think you're being a proper cow rather snobbish.

squoosh · 10/04/2015 22:35

The trouble is, some uber librels on here would say 'none of yours, stop being horrible', even if sil had suggested 'Hitler Chardonnay Herpes' as a name

Yes dear, of course they would.

W0rldCrashing · 10/04/2015 22:35

Saylor-Doll... Wow.

I don't mind Aisha pronounced Ai-sha, but pronounced Ai-ee-sha sounds quite grating to me.

I can sympathise with the op - when a name sounds wrong and conjures up a negative image it's hard not to say something.

nickelbarapasaurus · 10/04/2015 22:36

why muslim for Aisha?

Indian, yes, I can see that, but not Muslim.

I knew an Aisha in the 80s and there weren't any muslims round my way then (the immigrants from that part of asia were all hindus or sikhs)

PeppermintPasty · 10/04/2015 22:36

I quite like it Shock And I am vair posh Wink

neverletgojack · 10/04/2015 22:38

w0rld her sister is Dylan-Angel.... you honestly can't make that shit up...

or apparently you can in some peoples cases.

CrystalSkull · 10/04/2015 22:38

I disagree - I went to school with a Charmaine who was very classy and intelligent. It never occurred to me that it wasn't a nice name. People will get used to it once they get to know her.

PookBob · 10/04/2015 22:38

When MiL and FIL were told our soon to be born DS's name they both commented what a lovely name etc. They then took DP out for a meal and implored him to reconsider as there was a character in Emmerdale with the same name, and they didn't like that character.

DP of course came straight home and told me, and I lost all respect for PIL and started to hate them a little from that day on.

You name your kids, and let your brother and his wife name theirs, it has nothing to do with you.

squoosh · 10/04/2015 22:39

It seems many agree it is a horrible name, but most think IWBU to say anything. I will have to think about it, I'm don't think I can say nothing.

And many agree that you're just being a crashing snob who needs to get a sense of perspective and a grip on her emotions.

Dilemma!

FixItUpChappie · 10/04/2015 22:40

It would be horrible of you to say anything - its really none of your business. One of the great joys of parenthood is choosing a name for your child - don't ruin it for them. If you critisized my baby's name I would tell you to shove it up your arse.

Privately judgey is the way to go.

FixItUpChappie · 10/04/2015 22:41

What do you mean you don't think you can not say anything?!

Do you expect them to change it just because you don't like it?

FFS

squoosh · 10/04/2015 22:41

I just assumed Aisha was a Muslim name nickelbarapasaurus, I may well be wrong. My point was that it's a proper name and doesn't deserve to be tossed in with Chardonnay which as far as I'm aware only became a name when Footballers Wives roamed the TV channels..

Charlotte3333 · 10/04/2015 22:42

Why don't you think you can keep quiet? Are you 15? Surely as a mother of four you'd have been hurt if someone barged in and explained just how wrong you were to name your children the names you'd given them? Would it have changed what you'd called them, or would you simply have said "that's a great opinion there, please fold it tightly and insert it up your arse" (just as I imagine your SIL will to you, and rightly so)?

Your child, your business. Not your child, not your business.

CrapBag · 10/04/2015 22:43

WTF.

I don't get this Charmaine bashing at all. I can think of many more names that are actually chavtastic.

OP, YABVVVVU and frankly extremely snobby and utterly ridiculous about their choice of name. Please get a grip before you upset you brother and SIL and have very little to do with your niece.

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 10/04/2015 22:44

squoosh, well dear, judging by some people thinking its OK for some poor kid to have to live with Charmaine her whole life, just to avoid upsetting sil, yes I think they would accuse the OP of being 'snobby and precious' whatever name she was upset about. Don't get me wrong, crying about it is definitely an over reaction. Thinking the name is horrible, and asking her brother if they are serious, is not.

Yonkersdoodle · 10/04/2015 22:44

Oh, hang on, this is a wind-up, isn't it? Doh...

neverletgojack · 10/04/2015 22:45

squoosh Ohhhh footballers wives! I loved that.
I wonder if you can watch it on demand somewhereGrin

That Tanya one. Bad auld bitch.

waithorse · 10/04/2015 22:47

Op, you sound like an horrific snob. It's just a name, who cares if you don't like it ? It's not your baby. I'm horrified about your council estate comment and your comments about SIL double barreling her name. I really hope she has the measure of you. Angry

PeppermintPasty · 10/04/2015 22:48

Is it time for me to wheel out my "I knew a woman who called her baby girl 'Canderelle'" (sp.) story yet?

squoosh · 10/04/2015 22:49

itsnotme Charmaine is a perfectly acceptable name that is currently out of fashion, that's all. And of course it clearly isn't considered to be upwardly mobile enough for the OP.

If you'd told people 20 or 30 years ago that 'scullery maid' such as Ruby and Tilly or 'dustbin man' names like Stan and Archie would be uber popular in 2015 they'd have laughed in your face.

Names go in cycles. Charmaine is just a few cycles away.

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