Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say something about this choice of baby name

550 replies

horrifiednamechanger · 10/04/2015 20:33

DB and SIL are expecting their first baby. The baby is long awaited and I'm delighted for them obviously.

But, SIL they have decided to call the baby Charmaine (yes, spelt like that) and to make matters worse SIL seems to pronounce it almost 'char' rather than the kind of French style 'shar'. It almost sounds like she is ordering a take away.

Anyway upon hearing this news I had to bite my tongue so hard it practically bled. I don't think I did a very good job of hiding my horror surprise.

DB and myself have rather naice upbringing and our DM was a huge bit of a snob, not quite Hyacinth Bucket but not far off. I am fully prepared to accept I have inherited DM's views and IBU.... but I am also sure this would not be DB first or last choice of name, but he is known to 'go with the flow' and 'not cause waves' because SIL can be quite strong willed.

IABU to hate the name and WIBU to say something?

OP posts:
treaclesoda · 11/04/2015 18:50

Abusive? For saying that you sounded a bit controlling?

But you posted a post saying that you were trying to persuade your brother to change their choice of name from the one that they had chosen to one that you and your sister thought more appropriate.

What on earth is that if not controlling? Confused

bigfam · 11/04/2015 18:53

Abusive would be calling you a 1st class twat, but most people are keeping their opinions to themselves.

AS SHOULD YOU

laughingcow13 · 11/04/2015 18:54

what i would love now is for william and Kate to call their next child Charmaine!

FixItUpChappie · 11/04/2015 18:54

I maintain that I would tell you to fuck right off and I sincerely hope that's what your SIL does if she catches wind of the pretentious "word" you had with your brother. What a wolf in sheeps clothing you are OP.....none of this is about your niece - it's all about poor frowny-face self-centred you.

I don't know why you bothered posting here - you obviously think your in the right regardless.

Ludways · 11/04/2015 18:55

I know 3 all spelt different. I don't mind it tbh, not my favourite but the 3 I know are all lovely.

BearsDontDigOnDancing · 11/04/2015 19:00

Bloody hell, I do hope this is a wind up.

To be perfectly honest, not a name I would choose, but just who do you think you are to tell your brother to rethink the name so it is better for "the family" and to put his foot down with his wife. Keep your nose out of his relationship and the decisions they make about THEIR child, it is hardly like they are calling the kid Lochia or Paprika.(Which I think is a bit of an urban myth that that actually happened)

If I had found out my SIL had been like this about a name I chose for my child, I would be telling her to have nothing to do with said child. Your snobby and negative attitude is not something I would want influencing any child of mine.

And stop with the crossing out of stuff, you know what you want to say, and it is all a bit "Oh I am not really a snob, honestly But I really am"

ImABigOleBadLass · 11/04/2015 19:01

Sorry, but I always get this name confused with the popular loo roll:

www.charmin.com/en-us

ImABigOleBadLass · 11/04/2015 19:02

But you should butt out (excuse the pun).

VanitasVanitatum · 11/04/2015 19:09

Seriously OP you must see you are over reacting. Your DN will make the name her own and you will end up loving it.

To say it will some how have a negative effect on the family is taking the drama to a ridiculous level.

Listen to the overwhelming majority and leave well alone; it is nothing to do with you and you have no right to do this. Your DB said 'SIL is happy', frankly he sounds happy too. That is all that matters; it's a perfectly normal name and there is absolutely no issue here.

LittleBearPad · 11/04/2015 19:19

You think some of the responses are abusive OP? Really. I think they are quite restrained.

Your attitude is horrifying and to have raised it with your DB is staggering. You should be mortified by your bad manners.

BearsDontDigOnDancing · 11/04/2015 19:28

Also, if as you state, your brother is just going along with it as he is just so laid back and does not like to "cause waves" (and I can see perfectly why he would be like this) and SIL is "strong willed", do you not think he is just doing the same thing with you? Since you and your SIL seem erm....strong willed yourselves - he might have just been attempting to get you to back off and shut up by sort of agreeing with you.

SoupDragon · 11/04/2015 19:34

I think some of the replies are bordering on abusive and uncalled for.

I think your behaviour pretty much falls under this category.

SoupDragon · 11/04/2015 19:36

As you are so happy to hold your future DN's name up for scrutiny and give it damning criticism, what are the names of your children?

GnomeDePlume · 11/04/2015 19:39

While the OP is obviously being totally unreasonable to think of interfering in the naming of her DN this does remind everybody that the name of the child should be kept secret until the child is born.

SallyMcgally · 11/04/2015 19:40

YWB v v v unreasonable to say anything at all. It's none of your business and really rude. My DS saw fit to tell me she didn't like our son's name when she was a bit pissed a week before I gave birth. It's a very very plain name - not John, but same sort of name. It didn't change how I felt about his name, and it didn't stop me calling him by that name, but I was quite shocked by her manners.

NotSpartacus · 11/04/2015 19:50

You say you have real concerns they are making a mistake. Presumably this mistake is naming their child something you don't like, because you think it is lower class?

IMO there is little that is more lower class than snobbery, and I can think of little that is more snobbish than interfering in what someone wants to name their unborn child because you think the "chavvy" "ethnic takeaway" (wtf?) name they have chosen might be bad for "the family" (by which I assume you mean you will be embarrased by it).

I'm rather hoping your SiL doubles down and gives it the middle name "Waynetta" and then tells everyone who will listen that it was at your request.

There is nothing at all wrong with Charmaine, btw. I know a couple; neither's life has been blighted by the fact that their names would apparently not meet with everyone's approval.

LittleBairn · 11/04/2015 19:54

Shock We managed to explain that perhaps selecting a more traditional name would be better for the baby and family, rather than going with something that sounds like an ethnic takeaway dish.
WTF surely you did not really say this, in what way will this harm the family if they name the baby a name you don't like?

He said he's happy for it and his wife, the mother really likes it that's all that matters.

You say his wife has him under the thumb but I wonder if you are jealous that he is no longer under your thumb instead?
I'm astounded that you would meddle and be in so much angst over a matter that doesn't concern you

LittleBairn · 11/04/2015 19:55

Happy with it.

DixieNormas · 11/04/2015 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SummerHouse · 11/04/2015 20:03

Stop being mean everyone. We all have names we don't like. Here is where we can express our thoughts.

BearsDontDigOnDancing · 11/04/2015 20:04

SummerHouse Sat 11-Apr-15 20:03:05
Stop being mean everyone. We all have names we don't like. Here is where we can express our thoughts.*

Only she then went and expressed it to the father of the baby, further suggesting he "put his foot down" with his wife.

TheHumblePotato · 11/04/2015 20:10

SummerHouse

Stop being mean everyone. We all have names we don't like. Here is where we can express our thoughts.

That's not the point. Go to the Baby Names section and you'll see many a disagreement over potential names. And even on AIBU there was a couple of threads about potential names. She is very welcome to her view on whether or not she likes the name. But to stage an intervention, to have a lie down as the name will bring shame on her 'naice' family is shameful.

Damn it! I told myself that I wouldn't feed. She got what she wanted now, perhaps she should name change and recommend this thread goes into classics??

mailegmice · 11/04/2015 20:11

It is surely a wind- up. Someone said there were 9 children born in England and Wales last year ( and let's assume even fewer in Scotland) so really, even if another 9 are born this year...what are the chances? It was probably what the OP considered to be an antithetical mumsnet name, but the fabled Tyler et al were too obvious!

mailegmice · 11/04/2015 20:12

9 charmaines!!

Failedspinster · 11/04/2015 20:14

This is mad. There's nothing wrong with the name, and even if there was, it's no one's business but the parents. You'll get used to the name soon enough, OP, and might even find you like it in time, because it will be associated with your niece.

Let your DB and SIL enjoy their long-awaited baby and keep schtum.