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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say something about this choice of baby name

550 replies

horrifiednamechanger · 10/04/2015 20:33

DB and SIL are expecting their first baby. The baby is long awaited and I'm delighted for them obviously.

But, SIL they have decided to call the baby Charmaine (yes, spelt like that) and to make matters worse SIL seems to pronounce it almost 'char' rather than the kind of French style 'shar'. It almost sounds like she is ordering a take away.

Anyway upon hearing this news I had to bite my tongue so hard it practically bled. I don't think I did a very good job of hiding my horror surprise.

DB and myself have rather naice upbringing and our DM was a huge bit of a snob, not quite Hyacinth Bucket but not far off. I am fully prepared to accept I have inherited DM's views and IBU.... but I am also sure this would not be DB first or last choice of name, but he is known to 'go with the flow' and 'not cause waves' because SIL can be quite strong willed.

IABU to hate the name and WIBU to say something?

OP posts:
squoosh · 11/04/2015 17:40

I'm suddenly reminded of Aunts Spiker and Sponge from James and the Giant Peach.

treaclesoda · 11/04/2015 17:43

This control freakery is slightly worrying in general.

It's the name now, but what if poor wee Charmaine is born and the OP decides the SIL should be breastfeeding/babywearing/controlled crying/formula feeding/attachment parenting/baby led weaning/cloth nappying (delete as appropriate) and brother and SIL aren't doing things the way OP thinks they should.

Will another family intervention be scheduled, because someone has to think of the poor child?

Only1scoop · 11/04/2015 17:45

squoosh Grin

Enormouse · 11/04/2015 17:50

You could buy a puppy, op and name that 'appropriately' Hmm.

And leave your poor SIL and DB alone.

'Saddled with'? Words actually fail me.

florascotia · 11/04/2015 18:00

OP Posters have told you that the name Charmaine dates back to ancient Roman times and/or might be a variant of an ancient Greek name.

In modern times, it was used in a famous and important play, almost 100 years ago.

Just how much more 'traditional' (your word) do you want?? Can't you just be pleased that your relations are expecting a longed-for baby??

hackmum · 11/04/2015 18:04

I haven't read the whole thread but I don't understand what's wrong with the name Charmaine (though obviously it's better if it's pronounced correctly). It doesn't sound anything like "chow mein" to me, neither does it sound weird or (horror) lower-class. And the spelling seems fine too - it's an unexceptional name if not a particularly commonplace one.

NotSpartacus · 11/04/2015 18:07

OP, I really think you should apologise to your DB.

The risk of what you have done is that your SIL decides that her baby does not need unkind, controlling snobby aunts.

If you want to be a part of your

Alisvolatpropiis · 11/04/2015 18:07

Honestly, op, you're behaving as though your SIL wants to call the baby Princess Shithead.

Get a grip.

Binkybix · 11/04/2015 18:15

If this isn't a wind up then I REALLY want to know your childrens' names!

flowery · 11/04/2015 18:19

I genuinely don't know what all these "negative connotations" and "implications" are. Confused

It's not a name I choose but is it similar to some rude slang word I've never heard of or something? I'm genuinely confused about why it's so bad.

SoupDragon · 11/04/2015 18:21

I said he really needs think carefully and put his foot down. DB said he would have a think, but in the face of SIL I'm not convinced he has the fortitude to withstand.

You told your brother what he had to do? About the name of his own child? Seriously?

I suppose we just have to hope SIL has a change of heart now, or find a way to overlook the name.

No, you need to take a long hard look at yourself and work out how not to behave in such a control freaky, snobbish way in future.

What are your children's names?

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 11/04/2015 18:24

Just read your update and now I'm sure this is a wind up. 'Better for the family', WTAF?!

Baddz · 11/04/2015 18:30

The ONLY polite and proper response when someone tells you what their child's name is is as follows;
"oh, how lovely"
That's it.
It's not hard.

Original poster
horrifiednamechanger · 11/04/2015 18:33

It isn't the date or history of the name though , it is the thoughts and image it provokes. As several other posters have said the name is a bit 'chav', especially pronounced with the 'char' rather than 'shar'.

I think some of the replies are bordering on abusive and uncalled for.

I can accept being told IABU, but to say I'm a control freak and not happy for my DB & SIL is just not true. I'm over the moon for them and really excited about being a DN, I just have real concerns they are making a mistake.

OP posts:
TheHumblePotato · 11/04/2015 18:37

There was a thread last night about things not being how they used to be.

I suggest you go one step further and just go completely NC with your DB and Dsil after you've told them how abhorrent you find the name.

hth

AwfulBeryl · 11/04/2015 18:37

But your posts make you sound like a control freak. You're not just being a bit u here. This (if true) is waaaaaaaaaaay out there.

The intervention is especially strange, why in the name of foofy would you do that ?

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 11/04/2015 18:40

You just get more and more nasty OP. The replies aren't abusive, they are completely justified given your despicable behaviour.
I can't believe you want to insist that someone put their foot down about this.
Ugh. I think you should reevaluate your life.

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 11/04/2015 18:41

Even if it did sound a bit 'chav', how the hell does that affect the rest of the family?!

Chchchchanging · 11/04/2015 18:41

I know someone of that name who somewhat blurrs my view of it!

Enormouse · 11/04/2015 18:41

Anyone think ops going to try and get hq to pull this thread?

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 11/04/2015 18:42

Yeah, she'll claim it's 'identifying' or something to get it pulled.

Lausarama · 11/04/2015 18:45

Ok this has to be a wind up. No one could be this ridiculous.

OP please tell us your name. Then we can all pass judgement accordingly.

hackmum · 11/04/2015 18:46

OP: "As several other posters have said the name is a bit 'chav'"

It's not, though. It certainly doesn't have those connotations for me. If they were calling their daughter Chardonnay I could probably understand but Charmaine is quite a pretty name, and traditional, and not, as far as I know, "chavvy". I also don't understand your objection to the spelling.

And now I feel very old because apparently there are a whole load of people on here who have never heard of Brooke Shields.

figginz · 11/04/2015 18:48

For goodness sake, your poor brother. He either likes the name, in which case he now thinks you and your sister are interfering old busybodies. Or he doesn't like it, but has decided it's not worth fighting over, in which case you've made him feel like shit. The name is irrelevant; Charmaine is not akin to child cruelty. You are making your whole family unnecessarily upset and if you're not careful you'll cause a really deep rift. If that's what you really want, keep going. If not, try a little empathy. At least for your brother - as you clearly think very little of your sil.

Binkybix · 11/04/2015 18:49

Judging by this thread your photo should be next to 'control freak' in the dictionary!!