To say something about this choice of baby name

[horrifiednamechanger]

DB and SIL are expecting their first baby. The baby is long awaited and I'm delighted for them obviously.

But, SIL they have decided to call the baby Charmaine (yes, spelt like that) and to make matters worse SIL seems to pronounce it almost 'char' rather than the kind of French style 'shar'. It almost sounds like she is ordering a take away.

Anyway upon hearing this news I had to bite my tongue so hard it practically bled. I don't think I did a very good job of hiding my horror surprise.

DB and myself have rather naice upbringing and our DM was a huge bit of a snob, not quite Hyacinth Bucket but not far off. I am fully prepared to accept I have inherited DM's views and IBU.... but I am also sure this would not be DB first or last choice of name, but he is known to 'go with the flow' and 'not cause waves' because SIL can be quite strong willed.

IABU to hate the name and WIBU to say something?

I know of a Charmaine and a Charmian

At least it's a name that can be abbreviated to something if the child doesn't like it. I suppose it all comes down to personal choice, but I don't think I'd say anything.

The opinions on names thing baffles me a bit. Ok, it might not be a name that you would choose for your own child but when you meet someone with one of these names do you really think 'what a terrible name'?

I don't like my niece's name but I've never mentioned it to my sister. Niece is an adult and her not terribly lovely name has not held her back one bit.

Maybe the OP will report back that the intervention was staged and her brother was shocked at first but then overcome with gratitude that the OP cared so much. You know, like in American dramas where the whole family sit round and intervene to send someone to rehab. Only with baby names...

I think it's quite a pretty name with the sha sound. You can't say anything obviously. You just can't. And you have to act polite and interested. That's all. You will probably grow to like it. My sister in law has two children whose names regularly feature on this board in a negative light and I find the names fine. Not my choice but pleasant sounding names for two lovely children. The child makes the name in the end. Don't say a word and stop thinking about it would be advice.

YANBU OP. It might have been a nice name once but now brings connotations. I have one of these names from late 60's/70's and wish I had changed it years ago too late now

I think you are right to tell you DB as like my DH would be oblivious to the implications.

Call it what you like, it is a fact that people are judged on their name. I work in education and it happens, miners might not like it but it's true.

I think it's nice with the 'sh-' sound, although it wouldn't be high on my personal list of favourite names. But the 'ch-' sound does sound like a Chinese takeaway, sorry.

YANBU OP. It might have been a nice name once but now brings connotations.

I really don't get this - connotations of what?

I'm at this thread.

What implications? I genuinely don't understand.

You sound like a crashing snob OP

Maybe they are joking?

Terrible name but you can't tell them. But you could suggest alternatives eg Charlotte, that is a classic name never goes out of fashion, not chav etc.
Some things people have to find out for themselves....

If you are close to your brother then you should be able to have an honest conversation with him or joke that his love of Chinese food is going to far Poor child will end up being called Chow Mein at school.

There are some truly terrible names being used at the moment, those poor children have to grow up with them and use them later in their careers.

Their baby, their choice i guess. I once knew of someone who called her baby Chandelier - she had heard the word and thought it pretty.

This thread is just the absolute worst of mumsnet.
What a nasty snobby bunch.

Snobby and at its best lacking class....I'm always wary of 'naice' used in an Op....

Their child their choice.

If it reduces you to tears maybe get out a little more.

What your DB and his wife chose to call their baby is nothing to do with you.
there is nothing wrong with Charmaine - which is the accepted spelling, btw so no idea why you think that is strange. It is not a name I would choose, but then this is not my baby so it's not my business.
Your opinions on the name do nothing except reflect badly on you. There are no negative connotations associated with the vast majority of names (obvious exceptions such as Adolf, Myra etc) and people who insist that there are do nothing other than expose their own prejudices.
The suggestion you decide to call the child by a nickname of your chosing is incredibly ill-mannered.

Actually, do have that conversation with DB and DSIL - so that they can see what an unpleasant, self-absorbed and rather stupid person you are.

littlebearpad you're not the only one. Wtf is going on with MN right now?

"classic name never goes out of fashion"... No, but it's just as possible that people will judge you for calling your child the same thing as everybody else's daughter. I internally roll my eyes when the seventeenth person that day tells me that their daughter's middle name is Rose.

People will judge what the fuck ever they want. Which is why 'interventions' and tear-laden concern are so insanely ridiculous. One of my best friends is a highly respected scientist who speaks on international panels and is an advocate of various interventions encouraging women to thrive in STEM fields; her name is Krystal. Somehow they issued her a PhD despite her name.

I opened this thread thinking some poor child was going to be called Buggeroff or Stinky or something.

Honestly, Charmaine isn't bad. French form of Carmen, if I remember rightly. Bit 80s, but at least there won't be 25 of them in her infant class (unlike Eva or Amelia). Their pronunciation is wrong, but once they realize that everyone who meets their daughter actually pronounces it Sharmain, they'll have to go with the flow.

Think you should explain the prounounciation but not give your opinion

Jeez what an awful thread. It makes me want to leave Mumsnet in the way nothing else ever has.

Do I really want to be a member of a site where someone posts a thread like this and gets reply after reply not only agreeing with her atrocious snobbery but also suggesting more and more sneery comments with which she can humiliate her SIL - whose only crime is to choose a name the OP thinks is lower class and dare to pronounce it with her own regional accent?

On the Mumsnet of old the OP would have been handed her lightly toasted arse on a plate in the first ten posts. Christ almighty.

I know,Balloon.

This thread is everything that is wrong with MN. Anyone agreeing with the OP is as bad as her.

It makes me ashamed to be part of MN.

My DB and SIL were adamant their first was going to be called Brooke - which is lovely!

But I did think, being that they are very "country" (i.e. don't think either have even been to the closest city) that I should point out it was the name of the STD clinics in our region....

They settled on another name but called their second Brooke anyway which absolutely was up to them. I'll freely admit for the first wee while all I thought about when I heard her name was herpes but I fell in love with her in no time and every time I hear the name now all I think of is my beautiful DN. So maybe point your reservations out gently but leave it at that even though Charmaine is a perfectly standard name

I dont understand the issue with the spelling of Charmaine - I thought that is how it was spelled?

The name itself is not my cup of tea but its not the worst of names and ultimately it is no-one else's business.