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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say something about this choice of baby name

550 replies

horrifiednamechanger · 10/04/2015 20:33

DB and SIL are expecting their first baby. The baby is long awaited and I'm delighted for them obviously.

But, SIL they have decided to call the baby Charmaine (yes, spelt like that) and to make matters worse SIL seems to pronounce it almost 'char' rather than the kind of French style 'shar'. It almost sounds like she is ordering a take away.

Anyway upon hearing this news I had to bite my tongue so hard it practically bled. I don't think I did a very good job of hiding my horror surprise.

DB and myself have rather naice upbringing and our DM was a huge bit of a snob, not quite Hyacinth Bucket but not far off. I am fully prepared to accept I have inherited DM's views and IBU.... but I am also sure this would not be DB first or last choice of name, but he is known to 'go with the flow' and 'not cause waves' because SIL can be quite strong willed.

IABU to hate the name and WIBU to say something?

OP posts:
partialderivative · 10/04/2015 23:30

Having taught a lovely student by the name of Charmaine, I fail to see the issue.

And I really hope she does not read MN

Such cunts on here sometimes

Nanny0gg · 10/04/2015 23:31

Bloody thread.

Can't get this out of my head now.

ihatelego · 10/04/2015 23:31

oh dear..

tethersend · 10/04/2015 23:32

Charmaine? Really?

Jesus, it's not exactly Rosemary West, is it?

NoArmaniNoPunani · 10/04/2015 23:32

At least she has a lovely song about underage sex named after her www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBdNZ2jn_F8

SignoraStronza · 10/04/2015 23:32

We told everyone, in all seriousness, that we were calling our baby 'Wulfric' (Wolfie for short). We didn't really although I actually quite like it but were fed up with being asked.
Perhaps the joke is on you op?

squoosh · 10/04/2015 23:32

Oh I always wanted a song with my name in the title. Sadly it's not to be........

bonkersLFDT20 · 10/04/2015 23:35

I have a cousin (Indian) named Ayesha. They are Hindu.
People need to be a bit more open minded around here.

Icimoi · 10/04/2015 23:35

I'm constantly bemused about how much time people on MN claim to spend being in floods of tears, and about the peculiar things that prompt it. If your niece finds her name problematical, OP, she will sure as hell change it, so dry those tears.

Italiangreyhound · 10/04/2015 23:37

I misread the into and thought they were calling their baby Christmas! compared to that Charmaine sounds good!

The key bit of your post that strikes me is... The baby is long awaited... let them enjoy this special time. If they decide to change the name, fine, maybe someone else will say something negative about it. In your shoes it would not be me telling my sister in law I didn't like the name they have chosen for their long awaited baby.

Fauxlivia · 10/04/2015 23:37

Is Charmian pronounced the same as Charmaine? bit thick, sorry

I think it's pretty, but it does need an sh rather than a ch.

I think it's okay to give your opinion, nicely, to your own brother. My family were very vocal when I was pg. Tbf they sometimes had a point (hormones result in some odd preferences when pg). Other times I ignored them and went with my own choice and they've all come around.

HairyMcMary · 10/04/2015 23:54

Of course Hindus can call their baby Aisha.
Or Morag
Or Siobahn,
Or Niamh
Or Mary
Or Charmaine

Doesn't mean it isn't an Arabic and therefor commonly Muslim name.

EstRusMum · 10/04/2015 23:56

Mmm... Shrimp chow mein...

trixymalixy · 11/04/2015 00:07

Really? Usually I love a good baby name thread, but I just don't see what's so bad about Charmaine?

fatlazymummy · 11/04/2015 00:12

I think it's fine. Certainly a lot better than some of the names people come up with on mumsnet that get fawned over.

ilovemargaretatwood8931 · 11/04/2015 00:16

I've spoken to my Dsis about it and she agrees we must talk to DB alone tomorrow to gauge how he really feels and make sure he is aware of the implications.

What implications??? It's a perfectly normal name that's not to your taste. What on earth do you mean? This sounds like the most snobbish and unnecessary intervention in the world.

We also discussed the possibility of a family nickname but it doesn't really solve the problem.

Oh God, so when you say you'll give her a family nickname, do you mean that you'd feel so unable to cope with her given name that you and your Dsis would call her something more 'palatable'? Well, that's certainly one way to give the poor child a complex...

Alisvolatpropiis · 11/04/2015 00:19

I really don't like the hard Ch pronunciation instead of Sh and would be inclined to point out the Sh way is by far the most common and what people would assume.

Other than that it's fine.

I've only met one Charmaine, who was a trainee solicitor at the time. So her "terrible" name hasn't held her back all that much. She'd only be late twenties now.

YABU and need to get a grip.

FromSeaToShining · 11/04/2015 00:48

On the off chance that you are actually serious, get a grip. And no, I don't mean that in the nicest possible way. The choice of name is entirely up to your brother and SIL, and it really doesn't concern you at all.

But do tell us your children's names. I'm certain there will be people on this thread who will be all too happy to tell you how horrible those names are.

laughingcow13 · 11/04/2015 02:04

i dont get it.
i've never met anyone called Charmaine but I think it sounds a pretty name. obviously different people like different names, and thank goodness they do or everyone would be called the same thing

Crossfitmyarse · 11/04/2015 02:11

What do you mean 'yes, spelt like that.' ?

That is the way to spell Charmaine isn't it? Confused I've never seen another way. I really dislike the name, I think it sounds common and brassy, and but it is a proper name and has been around for donkey's years. I know a Charmaine who is about 50. It's an odd choice but I don't think it's any worse than many I've seen.

JessieMcJessie · 11/04/2015 02:46

Yes, loads of people have asked but you haven't answered, what do you mean "yes, spelled like that"?

KoalaDownUnder · 11/04/2015 02:55

Very weird OP and thread.

Charmaine is a completely normal name. I don't like it, particularly, but there's nothing remarkably horrific about it.

I knew two Charmaines growing up. They're both perfectly nice. (And one is from a wealthy, very well-travelled family and has a PhD in chemistry, since these things seem to matter so much to the OP Hmm)

It's an actual name, unlike Saylor-Doll as posted upthread. Just not one the OP likes.

What exactly is the big deal?!

treaclesoda · 11/04/2015 03:43

Maybe all the UK universities admissions criteria specifically state that girls called Charmaine will never be offered a place?

Or the government don't issue passports to girls called Charmaine?

Or are they barred from registering with a GP and using the health service?

Because if any of those were true then I'd understand the concern about the name limiting her chances of living a normal life...but since they're not, then I can't see the name actually holding her back.

PlasmaMatters · 11/04/2015 04:01

Charmaine is a brand of toilet paper in the U.S.....

NadiaWadia · 11/04/2015 04:05

OK, this is what my trusty name dictionary (published 1991) has about Charmaine: 'ultimately from Latin Carminea, feminine form of the Roman clan name Carmineus......became popular in 1920s due to a play, film and song which came out at that time ..... revived in the 1950s.'

So it's a proper name with history and everything! And yes that spelling is how it is listed. I don't see what your problem is with it, OP. Interestingly, the book also says 'in recent times, mostly used by black Americans' .... I wonder if that is connected to the snob thing against it?

Fauxlivia Charmian (as in 'Antony and Cleopatra') although it looks similar, is actually a completely different name, with a Greek origin, and should be pronounced 'Karmian'.