To think that mumsnet is quite hostile about children and parents at the moment?

[Ubik1]

Perhaps it's the Easter holidays.

But bloody hell. Thread after thread of people tutting and hoiking bosoms over kids running about and screaming and behaving like...children.

I think most parents are doing their best and actually do a pretty good job.

Agree completely with Mrsjayy.

There are some quite nasty things being said about other women by some, same old. It could be argued that those lashing out a other mothers who don't agree with them are the hands-off type parents. That would be equally unfair, wouldn't it?

We're parents and this is a site for parents to use. It doesn't mean that we're all going to agree on every little thing. If people and their children impact on others, it's likely to be commented on or at least not always appreciated.

While thats true about kids out playing etc letting your kid scoot about a supermarket is bloody annoying we didnt run in the shops or bang lockers while our mums looked on or away ignoring us, and we were often chased away by somebody that we annoyed as kids it wasnt always idylic and if your parent found out you were smashing glass in the bin area you were in trouble ime somebody always grassed you up to your mum

I think it's the volume of threads that struck me. And the rush to agree.

I think most of us understand basic rules of behaviour but I've always hated the sort of 'self righteous' disciplining of children, the tightly enforced rules which are more about establishing the credentials of the parent than the good of the child.

YANbU
Its a school hols issue imo.
But next week at least people can complain about the busy roads. "Why can't these lazy mothers walk their precious little darlings to school FfS?"

I think threads are like falling dominoes aren't they ? so somebody starts 1 then somebody else has something to say because they have seen the other thread and so on I bet there is some phsycological name for it? This week lazy parents next week loud parents ...

yes

Soon it will be 'Entitled Scooter Users and their many moral failings.'

It was different when I was a kid, I was one of the ones who would be playing with glass and out for the whole day, it wasn't a time that we were coddled so much. The film 'Swallows and Amazons' embodies that time for me and Virginnia McKenna's character would be the ideal as a mother.

It was just a different time.

And i will be on them tutting and probably hoiking scooters inside drive me up the wall

It was different as long as you were not bothering neighbours or anything parents were not bothered what you did they did expect you to behave when you were out with them they wouldnt have allowed you to push infront of people or bang on doors etc etc my mum wasnt particularly strict or anything you just sort of knew what you could or couldnt get away with do

Yes, you were expected to behave - and be polite - but you were generally playing away from home and so not a bother to the neighbours. I spent most of my young child days in willies in a stream. Those were the days!

There was another thread where a mother observed how hostile people were when she was travelling with her children.

And it sparked a lot of hoity toity 'I'm going to work,' and huffing about pushchairs.

Years ago there would sympathy and suggestions (and there were a few of those) but overall the default position was either that she shouldn't be on the train at all or that she was entitled to think anyone would help.

All a bit depressing really.

Anyway lovely sunny day so am off to allow my 3 to terrorise pigeons in the park.

My theory is that there is real animosity felt towards mothers -along with rage about unfulfillable desire - mothers sense this, even fear being a target of this rage.

And it's a shit theory at that.
Loads of us have had kids, mine are now older teenagers. We've all been through it; you're not the first people to have kids nor are yours particularly special. I love kids; they're generally great.
Accusing those who object to kids running round screaming in enclosed spaces as anti children/anti mothers is just hysterical bullshit.

your not slack op, its just we are not a tolerant society in the UK, we are so up tight and ridgid.

I don't think that not wanting children riding around on scooters in supermarkets or running around in restaurants is up tight.

This is not a black and white argument. There is a happy grey area between 'do what you chose and who cares if it is dangerous, very noisy or treating animals as a plaything' and 'children should be seen and not heard'.

As with previous posters the problem I have is seeing parents just standing by as their child opens packets in shops or pokes holes in cakes.

Well said. UncertainSmile ( silly theory)

I agree with you, most peole are doing a fantastic job. We can't all be perfect all the time. What some consider bad, others don't and in some cases they are just exhausted and need to just sit and watch the chaos and hope some might just sympathise. I've seen some pretty frazzled individuals and I usually just feel for them and totally understand why they don't do anything about their precious angel. It might be a toss up betweening sitting and talking to another adult for five minutes, so they can deal with the day/situation better or going and potentially hurting the little angel bastard with rage.

I always find it's a case of when you point one finger at others, you're always going to have the other three pointing back at you.

I spent most of my young child days in willies in a stream. Those were the days!

did you now!

I'm wondering where all these willies are

I also think most parents are doing a fantastic job... even if their child does happen to get away from them in a supermarket and run into someone's shopping basket

Really, ime most parents are conscious and aware of their children and do their utmost to ensure that their child is not disturbing or irritating others.

But they are also not mind readers. Small children are by their very nature impulsive, spontaneous, lacking self control.
Yes, there have to be consequences for their actions and misbehaviour not tolerated... but on occasion a child will do or say something their parent cannot predict or control.

Sometimes we need to give other parents the benefit of a doubt and a sympathetic smile when we can see they are struggling.
Because heck we've all been there, haven't we?