To think that mumsnet is quite hostile about children and parents at the moment?

[Ubik1]

Perhaps it's the Easter holidays.

But bloody hell. Thread after thread of people tutting and hoiking bosoms over kids running about and screaming and behaving like...children.

I think most parents are doing their best and actually do a pretty good job.

It isn't ideal if children are loud in a restaurant but they are children, they do not understand social etiquette! I know I would be exhausted if I corrected my child on every single " error" they made throughout the day and I'm pretty certain they would not listen. Maybe these are exhausted parents who are desperate just to sit down and have a hot drink. Don't eat/drink/visit public places if you can't stand noise from others.

Maybe these are exhausted parents who are desperate just to sit down and have a hot drink. Don't eat/drink/visit public places if you can't stand noise from others.

Or don't visit them if you can't control your kids.

I always choose family friendly places to take my children. I think it would be unreasonable of me to expect them at their age to sit quietly, waiting patiently for service. When I do go out without dc to a pub etc. and there are children being loud it isn't ideal but I certainly wouldn't let it ruin my time and I wouldn't be too quick to judge their parents.

It is a school holiday thing isn't it

Guilty of starting one of these threads.

But I'm not intolerant of children. Just the parents who think taking them somewhere is the end of their parenting duties and then let their little shits cause havoc and disruption for everyone else.

I don't like kids running riot round supermarkets, I actually smacked a kid in the face with my basket once as he ran round the corner. He ended up on the floor screaming, parent two aisles away came running, giving me the "what have you done to my child" rant. No acceptance that it was her bloody fault he was hurt because there's people in there with trolleys and baskets who are shopping, not looking out for small kids running about.

My thread today is about a bunch of kids terrorising farm animals and trying to kick chickens and ducks while the mums sat on a bench ignoring them. In the end I told them all to pack it in and leave the animals alone. They weren't happy but tough. We'd paid to be there too and I don't get a lot of pleasure seeing out of control kids screeching at animals and chasing them round so they were terrified.

I accept kids aren't perfect. I know kids are noisy. But parents need to at least make an effort to get their kids to behave appropriately for the setting they are in.

Yanbu-yes there are some poorly parented children but most I meet are just your average loud little kids.

I genuinely can't understand why people get so worked up (duck kicking aside which is not on).

YANBU but other people's children are irritating. I mean, my children are irritating as fuck but I tolerate them because I made them.

Yes we're all guilty of a little whinge about our little/or big treasures but we're lucky to have them.

To be fair I'm quite sensitive too as my DS is definitely spirited and I know he's pissed off people before but there are some parents who just don't even make any attempt to behave nicely (letting their kids blast out annoying game music from iPads in nice restaurants etc.) and sometimes it's nice to vent.

Spirited?? What does that actually mean apart from badly behaved?

Agree with 26Point2Miles - some parents will turn a blind eye to their child being a little bastard spirited: they are either oblivious or have convinced themselves that their little angel is just a darling. Either that, or their own standards are just piss-poor.

Yabu.

It's just hostile.

Absolute bollox, 'there own standards are piss poor'- speak for yourself. My standards are really set quite high on the way I 'treat' my children and the way I care for them. My tansitory happiness is not as 'important' as the well being of my children. I adore my DC because of the amazing people they are and will continue to become, the pleasure I get from being lucky enough to be in their company is immeasurable. Even when they're grumpy, cross, I try to understand it, not hate them for it, not see them as my adversary to be controlled by me, to treat them with no respect which includes referring to them as 'brats', 'little bastards' etc. What kind of consideration to being a 'good' parent is that? As if berating and belittling your child is having 'high standards' - it's not by the way, it's piss poor in my book!

To be honest these threads, indeed Mumsnet of late, just seems to represent all that is wrong about the way that Britain treats children. Children are treated as second class citizens, like they're not important. The poster up thread and on the other threads typifies why Brits are lousy parents and intolerant as they don't think twice about insulting a child/children they've never even met. We just seem to want to raise a generation of frightened introverts; that we're unable/unwilling to express any love towards.

Omg what kind of a cop out is "they're kids that's what they do"
Yes they are children but they are not animals and as a parent it's your duty to make sure that in a public place they behave themselves accordingly.
I have 3 children & one of those has autism and is prone to meltdowns and when that happens I remove my child from the situation so that my child isn't bothering anyone because people do have a right to visit places without screeching kids or without kids running into them or other people's property getting damaged.
It's about time those parents who allow their kids free rein to act like hooligans stepped up to the parenting plate and actually did some parenting.
No wonder people get annoyed with children if the parents can't be arsed to control them whilst walking around IKEA. That's why we have parks, so that children can run off all that steam without bothering anyone.
I read the thread about the kids chasing the animals and there is another fine example of parents not teaching their kids to respect other living creatures but then if said parents can't be bothered to teach their children to respect other human beings then they are hardly going to respect animals now are they.

I think there is a fine line between "high spirited" and badly behaved. There are also different interpretations.

For example, last week OH and I were in the building society to talk about ISAs. There were three toddlers playing in the doorway of the automatically opening door. They were screeching and squealing at the top of their voices - the type of noise that goes right through you. There was no parent in sight.

If they had been laughing and even shouting I wouldn't have cared because they were clearly having fun, but the high pitched screeches were hurting my ears and I couldn't even hear myself think let alone hear anyone else talk.

I don't understand parents who are oblivious to this kind of thing.

DD screeched at that age, but I made it very clear that this was not acceptable.

I also think that once parents have got past the stage of dealing with "high spirited" small children we forget what it was like. I know I have. And we get less tolerant of the noise and behaviour.

I agree Bunbaker and Oohthatsnice.

It's disingenuous and a cop out for anyone who doesn't think it's their responsibility to start throwing insults at those of us who do - 'you hate kids/you're killjoys/let kids be kids/why can't you see the joy in them?' etc etc.

I adore my kids and celebrate every inch of them. They can screech their heads off at home. They can have Nerf fights round the house. They can make mess and noise. But they can't and won't do any of the above in any enclosed spaces.

I am able to understand that not everyone thinks my children are as enchanting as i do! To other people they are just a bunch of children and if they are loud or rude or running around they are just pains in the butts for other people!

• in any enclosed spaces in public I meant

Telling a child when they are behaving inappropriately for a prticular place is parenting. When a parent doesn't recognise or chooses to ignore the inappropriate behaviour it annoys me, and yes I am intolerant.

Running around in a beer garden is fine - it is what kids do. If they are really loud I ask mine to move away from the crowded areas or quieten it down a bit. When they were toddlers we used distraction. At all ages it was explained that not everybody likes kids running around about and that in that place it they can't.

In confined places (trains, buses, supermarkets) where other people are doing a function that can't be avoided eg getting from A to B my kids are told to be quiet and consider the feelings of other people. If I felt that they were unable to behave appropriately and have consderation for other users of the service then we would cut the activity short.

Kids cannot be expected to know what is appropriate and what is not if they aren't told so I can't get annoyed by the child, but I will hoik my judgy pants if a parent does not try to moderate their child's behaviour if it is impacting on other people.

Unescorted

Spot on

I don't like kids running riot round supermarkets, I actually smacked a kid in the face with my basket once as he ran round the corner. He ended up on the floor screaming, parent two aisles away came running, giving me the "what have you done to my child" rant. No acceptance that it was her bloody fault he was hurt because there's people in there with trolleys and baskets who are shopping, not looking out for small kids running about.

No Butterfly that was your fault!

You smacked a child in the face with your basket, albeit accidently.

Just because a small child ran around the corner of an aisle does not mean he was 'running riot' Or that the parent could have/should have anticipated their child would be smacked by an inattentive person with a basket.

FWIW when my DSs were smaller it wasn't unknown for them to get away from me in the supermarket and be found two aisles away.

Get over yourself. I hope you apologised.

Unescorted I agree.

Exactly right, Unescorted

I think I posted this before, but recently I saw an older (primary school aged) child and a toddler playing football in a busy supermarket aisle whilst the parents looked adoringly on

I don't think they are hostile- it is just that you see some pretty poor or lazy parenting when you are out and about and MN gives you chance to say so.
It is a parents job to get their children to behave appropriately as the situation requires. It is hard work - but why expect it to be easy?

As if berating and belittling your child is having 'high standards' - it's not by the way, it's piss poor in my book!

It's entirely possible to teach your kids to have consideration for others - something that will serve them well in later life - without "berating and belittling".

And this is an adult site. Plenty of people come here to vent without having repeated the same words to the little darlings they are complaining about.

HTH.

I'm with Goldenbear. Finding it depressing how much Modern or is that MN Britain is turning into the childcatcher land of ChittyChitty BangBang!