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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder why so many people on trains become selfish.

157 replies

Sickoffrozen · 10/04/2015 09:25

I went to London on Tuesday this week on business and the train was extremely full with some people standing.

Why do people think it's acceptable to sit in one seat and put their bags on the one next to them in the obvious hope that no one will ask them to move it? There were also some kids sprawled out on two seats, asleep.

The train manager twice made announcements to ask for people to move bags from seats yet some people still didn't. There was plenty of room in the overhead storage so no real excuses.

Why is having someone sat next to you so bad?

Are these people as selfish in all aspects of their life do you think?

OP posts:
Marmaladedandelions · 10/04/2015 09:25

It's so rude; I just wouldn't have the brass neck to do it.

mayfridaycomequickly · 10/04/2015 09:29

It's rude - I'd tell them to move bags wake up sleeping kids before I'd stand for a whole journey.

Patapouf · 10/04/2015 09:37

It's rude but people like their space.
Also, I don't want put my precious handbag on the floor so I out it on the seat. If somebody wants to sit down I'll move it, I just won't have it on my lap if it isn't necessary.
Commuting in London is miserable, having to share your personal space makes is worse.
But YANBU for wanting a seat, my daily train is standing room only and that's with all seats occupied by people.

Patapouf · 10/04/2015 09:38

What I mean is ticket doesn't necessarily equal seat. And yes, people are inherently selfish.

ButterflyUpSoHigh · 10/04/2015 09:40

I very rarely get the train but I don't stand for this behaviour. I either just sit on the bags or ask them to move them. The worst ones are the laptop people sitting at tables. A lot of them seem to think they are entitled to the four seats.

Ceasre · 10/04/2015 09:48

If train is not busy I might put my bag on the seat but as soon as I see train is getting busy I move it without having to be asked. So inconsiderate not to imo.

HighwayDragon · 10/04/2015 09:54

I'd ask someone to move their bags, but not a sleeping child!

KoalaDownUnder · 10/04/2015 09:58

Yes, I think it's only okay to put your bag on the seat next to you if there are plenty of spare seats.

Leaving it there until you have to be asked to move it is very rude.

KoalaDownUnder · 10/04/2015 10:00

I think it's okay to ask someone to move a sleeping child if the child is lying across two seats. Fine if they're only in one, of course.

CaspianSea · 10/04/2015 10:18

I put my bag on the seat then move it when someone who looks like a good train companion comes near. In other words I wait for a quiet-looking presentable female without dogs or children. If I don't like the look of someone I don't offer to move my bag, though i would (reluctantly) move it if asked. I once got trapped next to a man who tried to rub his leg against me the whole journey (I was 19 and too shy to speak up). I hate sitting next to people who talk constantly, let their child talk constantly or misbehave, spread food out, or are so large they spill over armrest into my seat. I also can't stand smelly dogs on trains. So I am selective in who I offer the seat too.

Creatureofthenight · 10/04/2015 10:23

It's not your seat to offer, Caspian. It's there for anyone. Sometimes you end up next to someone annoying- that's life.

PastPerfect · 10/04/2015 10:23

I put bags next to me but will of course move them if train is busy.

I wouldn't dream of asking someone to move a sleeping child Shock

Preminstreltension · 10/04/2015 10:24

So I am selective in who I offer the seat too

It's not your seat to offer. This is why it's called public transport.

KoalaDownUnder · 10/04/2015 10:27

What the heck, Caspian?! That is really rude. When you buy a ticket, you don't buy the right to allocate spare seats to the people who get on after you, at your discretion.

I can't believe you think that's okay.

EdithSitwell · 10/04/2015 10:30

It's not your seat to offer, Caspian. How utterly selfish and entitled. I travel by train regularly and having to ask someone to move a bag when there are people standing in the aisles makes my blood boil.

FeelingSmurfy · 10/04/2015 10:31

I have a large rucksack with medical supplies in as my handbag, if the seat next to me is not reserved then I put it there but if the train gets full or someone asks then I will put it on table in front of me (always book a table seat) and I make sure its only on my half of table, even though it means it leaning on me

ChipDip · 10/04/2015 10:31

I would have no issue asking someone to move their bag or sleeping child. Absolutely entitled to think hogging seats is ok.

ethelb · 10/04/2015 10:34

Oh not another non-Londoner come on here to winge about those 'orrible city folk.

Grow a backbone and ask people to move their bags yourself if it bothers you so much.

muminhants · 10/04/2015 10:37

I'm kind of with Caspian - I'd much rather a slim lady sit next to me than a fat bloke with his legs widely outstretched and reading a broadsheet newspaper with elbows sticking out (happened to me on a flight home from Guernsey on Monday, fortunately only a 25 minute flight). But I tend to try to sit next to someone I want to sit next to, rather than sit in a 2-seater and then have to take the luck of the draw in who sits next to me. The problem comes when you get on the train when it's half-empty and you have to take an empty two-seater as it would look really weird if you sat next to someone when you've a choice of 5-10 empty 2-seaters to choose from.

I don't put my bag on a seat unless I think the train is going to be very empty, or I may do it on a 3-seater where nobody is likely to sit in the middle seat. But I do sit in the aisle seat and make people ask to sit in the window seat in the winter as I don't like sitting next to the radiator, it blows out hot air and gives me a headache. I see regular tweets from people moaning about "aisle-seat hoggers" but if I get there first, I think I get to choose whether I sit by the window or the aisle.

peppersaunt · 10/04/2015 10:38

If there are two seats available I choose the one with the bag on it and ask for it to be moved.

DrDre · 10/04/2015 10:40

Just ask people to move their bags. I do it all the time. Though I do think you shouldn't really have to ask. If there are people standing it should be obvious to people with bags on chairs that some of the standing people want a seat, and they should move them without being asked.

KoalaDownUnder · 10/04/2015 10:42

If there are people standing it should be obvious to people with bags on chairs that some of the standing people want a seat, and they should move them without being asked.

I think that's the point.

I ask people to move their bags if I have to, too. Still think it's rude of the bag owners to wait to be asked.

OTheHugeManatee · 10/04/2015 10:43

I don't understand why people don't just ask.

DidoTheDodo · 10/04/2015 10:44

Just ask them to move. It's normal practice. Everyone does it.

Although I did once take issue with a man who sat next to me when there were a lot of empty seats.

muminhants · 10/04/2015 10:45

If there are loads of people standing already, yes. But sometimes people travel on trains for some distance and the train is half empty for most of it, and it only fills up at the last minute. If you are reading your book or listening to music you really might not realise that the train is filling up so much. All you need to do is say "please can I sit there". Nobody has ever refused to move their bag for me.

However, when people do it on commuter trains it is really annoying/optimistic as it is obvious the train is going to fill up.

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