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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why so many people on trains become selfish.

157 replies

Sickoffrozen · 10/04/2015 09:25

I went to London on Tuesday this week on business and the train was extremely full with some people standing.

Why do people think it's acceptable to sit in one seat and put their bags on the one next to them in the obvious hope that no one will ask them to move it? There were also some kids sprawled out on two seats, asleep.

The train manager twice made announcements to ask for people to move bags from seats yet some people still didn't. There was plenty of room in the overhead storage so no real excuses.

Why is having someone sat next to you so bad?

Are these people as selfish in all aspects of their life do you think?

OP posts:

ThisCollie · 10/04/2015 10:48

Who made you the seat distributor, Caspian? It's not your decision who sits next to you. If you don't like the look of who is sitting there, you can move seats or (assuming you have no medical problems) there's the option of standing.

ProudAS · 10/04/2015 10:48

If a child wants to lie down they should put their head on parents lap (so they are effectively just taking up one seat) or sleep sitting up like adults who doze on trains.

People who think their bag/coat etc needs a seat are just selfish and inconsiderate.

PatricianOfAnkhMorpork · 10/04/2015 10:49

I ask people to move their bags if there aren't other seats available and would do the same with a sleeping child too if the train is particularly busy.

I do put my bags on the empty seat next to me if the train isn't busy but no problem with moving them as more people get on. I do get particularly pissed off with those that ignore whole rows of empty seats and go to sit on my bags though.

Can we add people who put their feet on the seats opposite as rude and selfish too?

ethelb · 10/04/2015 10:51

Dido maybe he was a charming as peppersaunt

KoalaDownUnder · 10/04/2015 10:51

Some people are too shy to ask, though, and I think it's rude to put them in that position.

My mum, for example, would never ask someone to move their bag so she could sit. She'd say, 'Oh, I'm fine standing'. Sure she is, but she would be a lot more comfortable sitting.

We got on a train just the other day and a 30-something bloke with his backpack on the seat beside him looked up at her and looked back at his phone. I quite enjoyed asking him to move his bag, please, so my mum could sit down (she's bloody 70!)

Fannydabbydozey · 10/04/2015 10:53

Oh bag twunts. Bane of everyday commuting. They usually sigh heavily as well when you sit next to them, sigh if you get out a book, sigh if you make a call, sigh and humph a LOT of there is a child with you.... Yawn. If you dare to get on with someone you know and have an actual conversation there can be so many humphs and ticks and sighs as to be comical.

Like someone said above, it is public transport. We're all trying to get somewhere as painlessly as possible, but some just love to make that experience worse. Nice to see a couple on here defending their twuntish ways too.

I've seen some of the worst entitled behaviour on commuter trains including people complaining about wheelchair users getting special treatment (!) a guy pushing past a blind guy to a seat and a woman who'd been on a shopping trip and wanted the three chairs around her to house her very tired bags... She was loud and obnoxious when asked to move them. There's usually one shitty thing a day.

I love my job. I love my home town. But the fucking commute every day is what exhausts and depresses me...

Snottybiyatch · 10/04/2015 10:54

This allocating a seat to hand luggage (usually next to the window) is one of my pet peeves, but I kind of assumed that the people who did it were selfish but then hey, I'm not perfect either.

What I cannot believe, and have never seen before this thread, is that some people actually think they are justified in doing it [cough] CASPIAN [cough]

If I happen to be on your train tomorrow Casp, please please please let me sit down: I promise I do not talk to people, eat noisy food, listen to music or have smelly dogs though I can be rather rank myself at times

muminhants · 10/04/2015 10:54

Ah backpacks. Add to the list of annoying behaviour on trains: people who don't take their rucksack off when they walk onto the train and knock everyone sitting in an aisle seat as they walk down the aisle. TAKE IT OFF and hold it in front of you.

meowth · 10/04/2015 10:56

i only use buses, and only when I'm going to work, so I'm usually carrying two big heavy bags. I put them on the seat because I can't carry them, or left them properly with one arm and they hurt my knees.
If someone tries to sit next to me, I will move. I do not like people sitting next to me. I like my own space.
However, I only use buses that aren't really that crowded on a morning so very rarely does this happen. i used to have men touch me on the legs when I was younger on buses so I don't want people sitting next to me, I don't like children running about and I don't like people on their mobiles when they're next to me.
I don't care if it's public transport, it's rude. I had a child try to go into my bag yesterday on the bus. his father didn't care and just continued talking on the phone.

alicemalice · 10/04/2015 10:58

I can't stand the people who get on their phones and chat loudly, sharing details of their personal life for the whole journey.

Oh yes and people who sit on the outside seat, so you have to ask them to move so you can sit on the remaining seat next to the window. Then you have to ask them to move again, when you need to get off. Why?!?

Yes, I get very irritated on trains

OnlyLovers · 10/04/2015 10:58

I take active pleasure in fixing selfish people with their bag on the seat with a hard stare and saying, politely but very firmly, 'Excuse me please so I can sit down.'

No one ever refuses. They do it with bad grace sometimes (sighs and dramatic HEEEEAVING up of their oh-so-heavy little bag), which I find amusing.

muminhants · 10/04/2015 10:58

Fannydabbydozey I will sigh if you make a call. But that's because I sit in the quiet carriage.

And because I firmly believe that the world will not end if you wait until you get to Waterloo/add name of destination to make your call.

The best one was one time when some bloke was moaning about his colleague (who he named) who he wanted to sack. I told (not asked) him to terminate the call because (a) it was the quiet carriage (funny how they never see the signs and/or they don't apply to them because they are SO important) and (b) because he was disclosing confidential information about his colleague and his company and being indiscreet and he didn't care about that. He did shut up though.

muminhants · 10/04/2015 11:01

alicemalice

I explained why I sit on the aisle seat - because on SWT the radiators blow out hot air and it gives me a headache so I don't sit in the window seat generally (in the winter). However, most people go all the way to Waterloo so it's rare that someone will get on, want the window seat, and then want to get off again. I do understand why it's annoying but getting a headache before the working day begins is not good.

Snottybiyatch · 10/04/2015 11:01

Anyone like me thinking we would to get to Meowth and Caspian to become travel companions.

OnlyLovers · 10/04/2015 11:18

move it when someone who looks like a good train companion comes near. In other words I wait for a quiet-looking presentable female without dogs or children. If I don't like the look of someone I don't offer to move my bag

I've only just noticed this. What the fuck? Who do you think you are, Caspian? That's a genuine question – why do you think it's 'your' seat to give or not give as it pleases you?

Crocodopolis · 10/04/2015 11:21

If the train is crowded and someone has their bag on a seat, I politely ask if they could move the bag, please, as I would like to sit. I smile and thank them.

Yes, some people are a bit peeved but my philosophy is that I asked pleasantly and therefore cannot be responsible for their taking umbrage.

PatrickStarxx · 10/04/2015 11:29

What about if someone reserves 2 seats because they want the extra room or just don't want to sit next to anyone?

Creatureofthenight · 10/04/2015 11:29

I am quite shy but I have no problem asking someone to move their bag from a seat. I will certainly ask politely and thank them, but I really don't care if they are peeved.
Shyness also doesn't prevent me from asking people to move down the carriage/bus, another public transport grievance of mine...

OnlyLovers · 10/04/2015 11:30

Then I think they're a bit selfish, TBH, if it's a long-distance train (as they're likely to be busy). What's so terrible about sitting next to someone?

Birdsgottafly · 10/04/2015 11:32

I do what Capsuim does, mainly because I've been sexual assaulted twice on public transport.

My DD was last year, I posted about it and the driver kicked her off and drove off.

I move my bag, I don't let people stand, I've also done it when my immune system has been low (Lupus), or I think my Shingles are starting.

I take my Mum out in a Wheelchair and I agree though, that there is a good percentage of are holes.

notquiteruralbliss · 10/04/2015 12:39

My train always gets full to bursting by the time it reaches Central London. If I have a choice of a seat with someone's bag on it and one without I always pick the seat with the bag to sit on. I just smile and ask the owner to move it.

OnlyLovers · 10/04/2015 12:46

Me too, notquite. I seek the selfish ones out.

sabrina00 · 10/04/2015 12:53

Caspian, what a revolting person you appear to be. It's not your seat to offer. How dare you? Move your shit and let people sit down. You know what? If you did that to me on public transport I'd move your bloody stuff myself and chuck it out the fucking train door.

As for people not wanting to put their precious handbags on the floor - fucking grow up. If you're that worried about it, don't spend hundreds on a fucking fashion statement. Idiots.

Original poster

Sickoffrozen · 10/04/2015 12:54

Ethelb it had nothing to do with "orrible city folk" the train was long distance (5 hr journey) and the last stop before London was 200 miles from London.

OP posts:

tobysmum77 · 10/04/2015 12:55

Just tell them to move it, not a big deal.

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