To Have Walked Out

[queeneileen]

My mum is truly doing my head in. She's managing to drum up arguments left, right, and centre with both me and my DS(13) I've got to the point where I'm limiting the time DS and DM spend together to less than 30mins at a time - they're as stroppy as each other and wind each other up - but I still go round every night after work for a brew. She's 67, disabled (can still get out and goes out every Saturday night to the local for company), but doesn't really do much socialising during the day.

Aaaaaanyways, she's just becoming more and more argumentative. Yesterday we rowed about politics, royal mail, the SNP, Scotland, her tv guide.
Today it was about employment law and the fact she thinks it's a shame employers can't hire who they want but instead have laws they have to cow-tow to. This was all sparked from her asking if Asians owned my opticians as the place was "flooded" with them. I work for an employment law company and started telling her about (quite sodding obvious) laws in place to stop discrimination happening. Queue massive row where I don't allow her to have her own opinion and it culminated in her accusing me of calling her a racist pig, and me telling her she IS racist. She is - not 15mins before she told me she was nearly sick when the Asian optician was checking her eyes as he was in her face. (note: I'm sorry. It's what she said)

She decided then she was offended that I think she's racist, and offended that I could say that to her in the manner I did. And I just said I was leaving and walked out.

I can't hack listening to her. I can't hack the rows. I can't hack the expectation of me sitting there listening to her spout bullshit because it's her opinion, even if I find it offensive. I end up openly questioning what she's saying and - I'll be honest - telling her she's talking crap.

I'm hugely sad I've walked out but AIBU to have done so?

Sorry, by reading the wording "media tool" that means something different to me than an independent party.

Ukip enjoys more media coverage because it's a bit different, it's a bit worrying, it's something different from conservative/labour/lib dem.

Oh I am under no doubt that powerful media tycoons have relationships with political parties.

Im still here, I haven't called one person a name. Some, however have been spiteful and disgusting.

That is a lie. You told one poster they were a bad person and needed to improve. You've called others vile. Your attacks may be couched in self-pity and passive aggression but they have actually been stronger and more aggressive than anything anyone has said to you. Thinly-veiling nastiness behind self-righteousness and self-pity does not stop it being nasty. It just makes it dishonest, too. You are not victimised just because you like to assume a role as victim in your own mind.

You are a racist person who becomes indignant when people challenge your racism, and you don't seem to understand that freedom of speech - which you have used - does not mean freedom from response. If you make hatefilled, nasty statements about large groups of people based solely on their race or national origin, you cannot stamp your feet and whine when people disagree with you. They have the right to their opinions, just as you do.

It seems your opinions deserve to be heard, and people should "show grace" and not "shout you down", by which you mean shut up and accept your views should be the only ones allowed a voice.

The hypocrisy is rather enormous.

Daffs - I have not called you names, either. I have, however, suggested that you look at the impartial facts regarding immigration.

But you don't do this. Instead you present your individual opinions as 'facts' and generalise from your individual experiences, criticising whole groups of people without justification. When others point out that what you are saying is not factually correct, you accuse them of 'shouting you down'.

Opinions are not facts. They may be deeply held, but they are not accurate or proveable or true.

If I had have been spoken to like a human being instead of being shouted down and verbally attacked we may have got somewhere here. I don't get it that the people who profess to be liberal and multicultural always revert to calling others stupid morons. That in itself speaks volumes to me.

I am a normal every day English woman. I am kind to all. It has been "assumed" that I am an out and out racist. Shame on you.

Daffs, neither liberalism not multiculturalism prohibits you calling someone a moron.

I do however resent you justifying someone spitting at my parents because people need a period of 'grace' to get used to being around other cultures.

I was raped by someone for purely being white.

As I just said, shame on you for being so vile, but there again, Im not surprised at all.

I'm guessing Daffs you were just unlucky. Wrong time, wrong place. Shit happens, but you have to move on.
Have you had counseling about it?

I was on here saying to give people time to come to terms with a massive influx. I was cornered and called vile names which ended with people saying that I was such a moron with no intellect whatsoever that I needed to be pitied.

Vile.

I was on here saying to give people time to come to terms with a massive influx. I was cornered and called vile names which ended with people saying that I was such a moron with no intellect whatsoever that I needed to be pitied.

It was a moronic, devoid of any intellect, statement to make.

I forgave the person that did this Jane. Thank you for asking. I have seen things from both sides for many years now. I Live in the heart of London which has changed, as Ive said in the past 20 years beyond recognition. I was saying that English people have been bombarded, told be be quiet and the race card has been pulled and used to the maximum.

This has been "my" experience and most of the people I know.

I was saying shouting racist at the first opportunity without listening to others experiences in an adult manner is ridiculous.

Yet again we have Enjoy banging on about my moronic intellect.

Very adult.

It has been "assumed" that I am an out and out racist. Shame on you.

If anything has been assumed, then those assumptions have been based on your own posts - nothing else. I asked you a number of direct questions, which you chose not to answer. I drew my own conclusions from this, and you chose not to dispute these.

I am extremely sorry about the fact that you were raped. That must have been horrendous for you, and what happened to you was absolutely wrong. No ifs, no buts.

We are not in a position to judge whether or not you were raped because you were white, but I will accept what you say at face value. I believe you.

However, no matter what happened to you, you cannot blame all immigrants for the actions of one individual. Most immigrants, and most non-white people are not rapists. They have nothing to do with what happened to you.

I am genuinely sympathetic with regard to what happened to you, but I don't think it gives you carte blanche to express racist views or defend others when they express them.

Racism is wrong. It was wrong when you were subjected to a racist attack and rape. It is equally wrong in each and every other circumstance. Two wrongs do not make a right.

Daffs, as I have said before, I was sexually assaulted by two White men on different occasions.

I do not tar all white people with the same brush because of it.

I too live in the heart of London and your experience is not my experience. As a young girl when I walked down the street with my dad he was spat at, shouted at out of cars, one time he was punched in front of me.

I'm sorry for what happened to you but it doesn't justify your xenophobia.

What is this blanket "racism" thing can you not speak in a normal way without using that word again and again and again. Can you not talk without name calling?

I had a viewpoint and was met with such vile name calling, yes you should be ashamed of yourselves. This is no way to solve things.

whats with the blanket words yet again. Xenaphobic, Racist. Does everything have to have a label. People need to speak in a rational manner and find out why others are upset without all this.

I notice again you are not responding to anything anyone's actually saying, but simply repeating 'vile name calling'.

If you don't want to be called a racist, don't express racist views.

daffs, racist is not a term of abuse, and it is not being used here in that way. That is your misconception.

It is a term that is used to describe a particular set of beliefs and attitudes, which you have either defended or demonstrated on this thread.

I don't believe that any of my posts have been irrational or abusive to you, but if you disagree, please feel free to point out where my arguments are irrational or where I have called you names, and I will apologise.

Calling a spade a spade is not offensive in my view.

daffs Racist/racism is a word, how do you define that word?

Daffs, words have shared, generally agreed, defined meanings. That is how we are able to type them on a screen and have a conversation. Your comments and your stated views are racist. That isn't an insult. It's a description. An accurate one. If you don't like the correct use of the word, then maybe look at what you are saying to elicit it?

Pinning she honestly has not responded to anything this entire thread. She just spouts her nonsense, and then anyone asks a questions she accuses them of vile name calling. It's now got to the point where I have passed infuriating with her, and I am now bored. And also, if I'm honest, a bit intrigued by her. I note she's 52. I want to know if she's married, has children, in employment, because I have actually never, thankfully, ce across anyone quite like her in real life, and I am genuinely interested in what kind of life someone like daffy experiences.

Because with your views daffy, I'm guessing life just be pretty negative bleak existence.

whats with the blanket words yet again.

Incidentally, it's interesting: you think labels and blanket terms are bad, but you're yourself labelling whole groups of people based on skin colour and/or national origin, not who they are as individuals. You aren't thinking some individuals in your area are behaving horribly or have behaved horribly. You're deciding people who share their racial or national origins are responsible as a group for that behaviour. How much more blanket does it get? Are all white people responsible for what happened to Stephen Lawrence? For Jimmy Savill? How about Fred West?

It is racist to judge what someone has to contribute to society based not on who they are, but on what country they came from or what colour their skin is. But you seem to think doing that is normal and fine, and calling that behaviour racist is just insulting you, rather than defining it as it is.

It's not a logical or reasonable standpoint.

enjoying you are very lucky you haven't met anyone like her! Unfortunately my mother's entire extended family (and also some of DP's) spout similar rubbish on a regular basis.

It is ignorance more than anything else, and a willingness to believe absolutely everything the media spins to you without any basis in hard fact.

Pinning, it must drive you demented!