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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Sleep when she sleeps"

102 replies

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 08/04/2015 09:37

AIBU that whoever came up with this bollocks?

When my 3 month old sleeps I wash up, eat, have a brew, hang out washing or put washing on, have that shit I've been holding in for the last 3 hours, brush my hair,brush my teeth, put some clothes on that aren't pyjamas, have a wash, put the tea on, ....etc

Does anyone else actually sleep wen their LO sleeps?? (night doesn't count!)

OP posts:
Original poster
CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 08/04/2015 09:38

*That whoever came up with this bollocks didn't have children

OP posts:
TheOriginalWinkly · 08/04/2015 09:39

My DD only sleeps when she's on or right next to me, so I may as well nap or catch up on tv & mumsnet

Tutteredboast · 08/04/2015 09:39

It was difficult as I loved the silence and luxury of time to myself, but when I got really tired, I'd make myself have a little kip at the same time as dd.

SweetAndFullOfGrace · 08/04/2015 09:40

I think most people don't nap when the baby does. The advice is for new parents who are so tired they can't see straight - if you we're utterly sleep deprived you'd probably not care about getting out of your pjs!

MayLuke83 · 08/04/2015 09:40

YANBU OP. It is a race against the clock to get all of the above done when my ds naps! I never nap.

raffle · 08/04/2015 09:41

You don't poo until the baby is asleep?

I slept loads when the baby slept when he was my only child. I missed it when we had our second :(

Whathaveilost · 08/04/2015 09:41

I didn't sleep as such but made it my time to sit down, maybe drift off a little if I'd had a heavy night previously and give myself chance to refresh.

Worked for me. I'd never heard the saying bout it was DH who told me to relax when I could and mst jobs aren't urgent and can wait.

findingherfeet · 08/04/2015 09:43

Not with my first, I felt very similar...but i should have done, she napped well but I felt I had to get on and do everything. But at 3 months little one is so young and my view is that you have many tiring months ahead...try and at least rest.

When my DS was born I slept or rested when they were both napping...sod the house work!! Those early months were exhausting.

moggle · 08/04/2015 09:43

I did for the first few weeks when DH was on paternity leave, and then for the blissful phase when DD would have a 3 hr morning nap. Now she's 5m, sometimes I try if we've had a few awful nights on the trot. But I usually have just dozed off when she wakes up and then I just feel a thousand times worse.

Rinkydinkypink · 08/04/2015 09:44

With first children it's possible when they get older but by then you don't need the sleep as much. It's also possible if you have house staff (as if!)

With two children it's just impossible! I got very fed up of people telling me this.

Whathaveilost · 08/04/2015 09:44

Why can't you go to the loo, brush your hair etc when the baby is awake? Aren't they in a cot or baby chair or something?

DS2 screamed every time I left the room but as much as things revolved round him other things need doing as well.

hackmum · 08/04/2015 09:44

YANBU. It used to infuriate me. However tired I was, I could never sleep when my DD slept - I can't just turn off like that. I was too wired. And in any case, I always had a huge list of things to do that I couldn't do when she was awake.

bruffin · 08/04/2015 09:44

i did even when i had a toddler and a new born. I was fortunate because if i sat down in the afternoon to feed the baby we would all drop off together. Or I would go and lie on the bed with them.

Zebrasinpyjamas · 08/04/2015 09:46

No I didn't unless I was horrendously tired. Even if I wNted to, I didn't ever know how long he would be asleep for. Now at 10m he is more predictable (and I get more sleep at night) but for the last few months I would rather do those other things you mention (other than the washing up Smile).

FreeButtonBee · 08/04/2015 09:46

i think it makes sense to try and carve out some "do nothing" time in one of the naps periods per day. For me, I always had a shower before DH left for work in the morning - otherwise, it waited til evening. Lots of chores, I only did when babies (twins) were awake. So put mat down on carpet beside clothes horse and chat to them while hanging out washing etc. I have poo'ed while holding a baby though I wouldn't necessarily recommend that course of action...

bruffin · 08/04/2015 09:46

I didnt have staff and once dd was born i worked from home as well. Thankfully both slept through at 12 weeks .

bakingaddict · 08/04/2015 09:47

I wouldn't worry about keeping on top of housework at that age that's what dads are for! When my eldest was a baby he'd have long long naps in the day because he used to wake every 1.5hrs in the night. If I didn't at least catch an hour when he was asleep I would be the walking dead.

More difficult when you've got two so never got the chance once DD was born.

Eminybob · 08/04/2015 09:47

No I never did in the early days as all DS's naps were on me and I was terrified of falling asleep and dropping him.

He's 9 months now and can reliably have about a 2 hour nap in his cot in the morning. In theory if I have no plans for the morning I will take myself back to bed if he's kept me up in the night, but in practice this doesn't work and as I can never sleep and end up mumsnetting (as I am now) or similar.

Usually though we have to be straight out after he wakes up so I use the time getting ready and doing bits of housework etc.

In the afternoon he only naps for 30-45 mins so I might watch a recorded Eastenders and have a brew.

CuttingOutTheCrap · 08/04/2015 09:49

I've always used the time to do housework or jobs that are not easily done with dd in a sling. Probably should nap more, but getting work done makes me feel better than a really short nap does (dd takes very short naps ).

Original poster
CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 08/04/2015 09:50

if you we're utterly sleep deprived you'd probably not care about getting out of your pjs!

I have to leave the house for god's sake.

*Why can't you go to the loo, brush your hair etc when the baby is awake? Aren't they in a cot or baby chair or something?

She pretty much kicks off if I move, or she moves, or I move away. I also have cats, so as soon as she does, cats come for a nosey and I don't leave her alone with them.

It's OK to say don't do the house work. But I don't have a lot of clothes for my baby, they need a rotation! And a very tiny kitchen so 4 plates pile up and there's naff all room. Then there's cleaning all the bottles, and sterilising and formula making, need a nice clean kitchen for that.

It was light hearted anyway. I'm sure some people do nap in the day. I just can't do it. I'd rather be getting the things done that need doing instead of letting them pile up.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 08/04/2015 09:51

I slept when mine did, otherwise I would of been seriously sleep deprived.

My DD can't sleep of a day, so I've had my 3 1/5 month old GD, a few nights, so she isn't at breaking point.

I sleep when my GD does, even though it's temporary.

It depends on the help you have, we a pitch in to help, but tbh, her OH should be doing more housework.

I agree that if your very tired, then for a few months, let other things slide and sleep when the baby does.

When you've got a Newborn you think this is going to be life as you now know it, forever.

But it isn't really for that long, it's just a shock, when it's your first.

I help my DD as much as I can, partly because I don't think First time Mums get to enjoy their baby, as much as they could, because it is a shock to the system and can be hard going, which is a shame.

(Whispers) she "slings" (aware this is a dirty word) hers to get on with other stuff.

Plateofcrumbs · 08/04/2015 09:53

In the early days DS only slept on me and I often dozed on the sofa whilst cradling him on my chest (breaking all the SIDS rules). These days I do tend to run round and do chores whilst he naps, but occasionally have a lie down if we've had a run of bad nights.

LokiBear · 08/04/2015 09:54

My dd only slept in 45 minute blocks. I never had the chance. By the time I'd fallen asleep she was waking me up and I felt like crap.

Sparklingbrook · 08/04/2015 09:55

I never slept when the baby slept. I just couldn't get to sleep in the day no matter how tired I was.

I was more relaxed knowing that I had tidied up/had a shower while he slept.

Original poster
CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 08/04/2015 09:56

LokiBear - Yep about the same here :)

OP posts:
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