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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

"Sleep when she sleeps"

102 replies

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 08/04/2015 09:37

AIBU that whoever came up with this bollocks?

When my 3 month old sleeps I wash up, eat, have a brew, hang out washing or put washing on, have that shit I've been holding in for the last 3 hours, brush my hair,brush my teeth, put some clothes on that aren't pyjamas, have a wash, put the tea on, ....etc

Does anyone else actually sleep wen their LO sleeps?? (night doesn't count!)

OP posts:

5madthings · 08/04/2015 11:30

Ha ha, ds1 never slept properly in the day, he would cat nap, five mins and he was ready to go again and he needed entertaining whilst awake. We used to joke he was like the robot from short circuit...input input input.

He finally started sleeping through the night at three years. We had ds2 by then... So nope never slept in the day with baby.

Original poster

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 08/04/2015 11:35

completely agree with you Thurlow :)

OP posts:

roofio87 · 08/04/2015 11:36

I do, and I've taken it way too far by often still napping when ds does he's 18 months and sleeps through the night so I have no excuses!!!

Discopanda · 08/04/2015 11:39

I only did in the first couple of weeks when she was up ALL night and took long enough naps during the day for me to get a few things done and rest. After that it was getting things done. DD2 is due today so when she finally makes an appearance I'll probably spend nap times getting stuff done or doing things with DD1.

Jsa1980 · 08/04/2015 11:42

I did, and still do. He's two in a couple of weeks and starting to drop his nap, nightmare! He doesn't sleep through the night though.

Thurlow · 08/04/2015 11:43

Agree with that wholeheartedly, Dunking. DD is 3 and still blessedly naps most days, or if not she'll let us put her in her room to read quietly for half an hour or so. I've always just read myself when she had a nap, unless there's something desperate that needs doing in the house.

If I was giving advice - which the older my child gets, the more I realise that most advice isn't hugely helpful because everything is so individual - it would be to try and use naptime for whatever you want to do. If that's cooking or cleaning because you'll be too stressed if you don't do it, so be it. Or, like you say, if it's reading or just staring at the ceiling in quiet for half an hour, do that instead.

2rebecca · 08/04/2015 11:44

I slept when baby slept in the first 3 months before going back to work. With my second I made sure I had a cleaner for the first 6 months so I wasn't racing round cleaning when exhausted.

Merse · 08/04/2015 11:46

Hugely irritating advice. Couldn't agree more. The only time you get to actually get things DONE is when the baby is asleep! I suspect that advice only applies to people with staff doing cleaning, cooking, admin & God knows what. I.e - pretty tiny percentage of the population!

mrswishywashy · 08/04/2015 11:47

I'm a maternity nurse and recommend to all my clients to prioritise sleep or rest for at least one part in the day. It really helps in the first six weeks and beyond. It might mean feet up watching TV, a sleep in darkened room, coffee out, a bath - some mums prefer to do these with baby and others wait for baby to sleep either way it's good to put yourself first for a bit.

I'm currently 9w4ds pregnant and also working with a one month old 24/5. I thought I'd felt tired before when up with bbs in the night but my level of tiredness now has reached new heights. I'm taking two naps most days with bb, this sometimes works when he sleeps other times I feel much worse as am woken from a deep sleep. I will plan in rests and naps into my day when my baby all being well arrives in November.

Francescal88 · 08/04/2015 11:52

Don't worry OP, my DS is 13 months and I still only poo when he naps. It's wasn't so bad when he was younger and not so mobile, I could leave him in his bouncer or jumperoo and have five minutes in the bathroom to myself, but I don't trust him in a room by himself for that long now, and if I bring him to the bathroom with me my poo just isn't as relaxing as it should be.

0x530x610x750x630x79 · 08/04/2015 11:55

Don't worry OP, my DS is 13 months and I still only poo when he naps.

can you not poo with someone else in the room? is that the problem?

Millionprammiles · 08/04/2015 11:59

I never slept when the baby slept as I never worked out how to sleep whilst simultaneously walking and pushing a pram.

Still, didn't have to worry about losing the baby weight. I only sat down for feeds.

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 08/04/2015 12:01

Mine would only nap in the pram (moving) or in the car (also moving!) for the first 8 months so sleeping when she slept would have been pretty dangerous! Also she has never had reliable nap lengths so I found it more stressful trying to sleep but now knowing if she would wake up in 10 mins or an hour. She's 17 months now and I have managed to nap when she's napping twice, when I've been ill. And she still wakes up twice in the night!

PannaDoll · 08/04/2015 12:04

I washed up, made dinner etc whenever my little one was awake as she could watch me from the bouncer (I also have a cat but bizarrely never feared the cat would come try and murder her while I was briefly out of the room).

I'd shower while she was awake too; in her chair, in the bathroom with me.

When she slept, I slept.

I also tried to get out each day, at least just a walk to the shops.

The maxim worked for me.

SenatusPopulusqueRomanorum · 08/04/2015 12:05

I did it with DC1. I BF him to sleep on the bed and had a little nap. He never slept more than 20 minutes though.
I never had a nap after DC2 and DC3 were born.

RabidFairy · 08/04/2015 12:11

I found that very hard advice to take with my first. I found a lot of stuff hard with my first!
But with the second I did grab naps where I could and I felt better for it. I mothered much more instinctively with DC2, rather than doing what I felt I should have done as I did with DC1.
I intend to nap whenever I can with DC3, in between the school and nursery runs.

BestZebbie · 08/04/2015 19:28

I just woke up from having a nap whilst my 6mo is asleep

He usually has a 2-3hr nap in the afternoons, I use an hour to move the laundry on/make a cuppa/express milk etc and then either nap or do bigger jobs off my to do list.

However, it would be impossible if there was more than one of him, he didn't sleep or if I didn't have a DH who looks after him at other points in the day so I can still shower etc at some times when the baby is awake.

voddiekeepsmesane · 08/04/2015 19:29

I did sleep when DS slept. The dishes, washing or hoovering can wait. Though he is my only I could see that this advice is easy with one but down right out of the question if you have two or more.

Those with just one need to know you CAN leave them for five minutes to go to the toilet, take a shower or do your hair, they will not come to harm honest.

KeturahLee · 08/04/2015 19:33

I always went back to bed with mine when they were little! I'd just get through the first hour or so in the morning and look forward to getting back into bed...

I have always preferred to get stuff done when they're awake and then nap time is just break time.

bruffin · 08/04/2015 19:33

Though he is my only I could see that this advice is easy with one but down right out of the question if you have two or more.

As I said above I managed it with 2, DS was 2yrs 5 days when DD was born, for some reason he would fall asleep when I did, so we would all snuggle up on settee or up on the bed.

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 08/04/2015 19:34

I wish it was the hoovering or washing that was preventing me sleeping when she slept, it was the fact that she only slept in a moving car or moving pram! Never quite figured out how to sleep while walking or driving.

voddiekeepsmesane · 08/04/2015 19:35

fair enough bruffin sounds like you were lucky to have a toddler that fell into your routine well, though I know a lot of people with toddlers and new borns that it doesn't work with :)

voddiekeepsmesane · 08/04/2015 19:38

There is always the exceptions to the rule youmake driverless cars are on the way in for future parents that have children that need to be on the move to sleep :)

squizita · 08/04/2015 19:38

Mine sleeps in a pram or on me by day. SIDS guidelines and pushing the pram make sleep impossible.

To the PP who acted like it was some stealth boast about babies sleeping all night. What the actual F? Heard of too tired to sleep? Anxiety? Medical conditions post partum that need care?
It SO doesn't mean we're happily getting 8 hours.

And YY to the "ignore the books ... but read this guilt inducing inaccurate attachment parenting blog instead..." types. I spent a few weeks convinced dd would be scarred if I wasn't gurning into her face 24/7. Which would of course make siblings impossible.

squizita · 08/04/2015 19:40

Voddie you're brave saying that on mn. The pearl clutchers will be after your blood!

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