To think that many train users are completely oblivious or maybe they just hate kids

[Breadwidow]

I live in central london with 2 DCs (3 & 7 months). We don't have a car so use public transport a lot. It's hard work with 2 obviously but increasingly I've found that there's an additional aspect that makes train journeys out of london even harder than they might be already: the behaviour of other passengers. This rarely happens on London transport but on trains I now often find that people are totally caught up in their own world that they do things which really hinders our journey with two kids - in fact sometes it's as if they hate the kids. Examples of such behaviour are:
Running to board trains / lifts cutting ahead of me / OH with the buggy and def not offering to help - especially bad in terms of lifts where the adults cutting ahead are usually carrying a small bag and could take the stairs!
Running along platform, nudging buggy out of the way, towards train tracks
Being pissed off (sometimes very vocal with it) when we ask people to move suitcases / bags to allow room for buggy or to allow DS to sit down (on a recent journey DH slightly moved a suitcase to allow room for buggy containing sleeping DS only to have the suitcase pushed back with force against the buggy - he pointed out to the passenger who pushed the case that they should be careful as DS was asleep in buggy and was told to 'not make a scene' by the middle aged woman who had pushed the suitcase into the buggy - hilariously it turns out she wasn't the owner of the suitcase!)
Making a lot of glances / tuts at DS (3) who is generally pretty well behaved on the train but is quite chatty
Maybe I'm just a bit paranoid but now every train journey seems to have 2+ examples of unhelpful or sometimes rude behaviour. The main perpetrators are middle aged women who you'd have thought would have once had small children themselves and maybe be more sympathetic!

I find three year olds are as irritating as fuck This x 100

caspiansea actually he is highly entertaining - most people tend to engage with him wherever we are. Of course I am not going to stop him talking to me and other people if they want to chat to him. I will however, tell him to keep his voice down. Like I said, it's just the way he is. If you can't handle a talkative ASD child, that's your problem.

I think we can safely say that what, in mammyspeak, is 'my cherub chatting quietly to me' in otherpersonspeak would undoubtedly be 'shouting screeching generally loud and very fidgety person going mumumumumumumum wahhhhhhhh whilst probably simultaneously banging a toy on the table'

xpost with cadbury, my reply was to goldenbear

And your proud of that 6Musiclover?

YABU.

Unfortunate cross post drank

I always use trains to go on trips away 4/5 times a year and have never experienced anything that you've mentioned.

Having said that though, I've never moved suitcases to park a buggy as I always book in advance and so reserve seats. If this is not an option, it's too stressful to find a space and so will just sit with him in the hallway.

He's pretty chatty and is always making new friends on the trains. I have some pictures that a young woman (early 20s) sent me that he's make her take of him with a toy on his head and on the way back from London last year another lovely woman helped him to make an origami crane.

Maybe it's because it's the two of us, we can be quite flexible - I often leave DS in a seat while I go and put luggage away but can't imagine leaving two and sorting out a buggy and luggage, though with your DH to help you this shouldn't be a problem as one of you can sort children and the other find a space for the folded up buggy.

Goldenbear Mon 06-Apr-15 11:04:28
Fryone, equally, I think some 'individuals' need to take a look at themselves.

Agreed, but that doesn't mean that individuals are wrong for just wanting to be left alone and not have to deal with someone else's DCs because their parents think it's cute that their DC is chatting to people.

No I mean 'just' a child talking to their parents - 'no' other meaning. It is allowed and children are allowed on public transport.

Sometimes an adult is the first to chat to a child - if I'm out with my little nuclear family and just want family time I could find that 'intrusive' but I don't as I accept that people interacting with me is the price I pay for stepping outside of my front door. The self importance of some people is really worrying.

I travel every day with school aged children (5 upwards) and their parents a 20-30 minute train ride. Yes some of the kids are a bit loud but you zone it out.

Re lifts - well there's a huge stampede for the stairs (crowded) at clapham junction in Rush hour so yes I sometimes take the lift.

I haven't been bashed by buggies, most kids traveling are well behaved. I have noticed a lot of parents do use buggies that are hard or too big to fold up but mostly I find they leave them in the inbetween spaces (exit/entrance points).

What i do get annoyed about is someone like op who thinks that 'we' shove buggies out of the way or tut when kids sit next to us. I have never ever done this (or even seen/heard this) and am insulted by ops insinuation that most do this.

Finally as a non parent and a middle aged pariah I was directed to a very useful thread here on reclaiming ppi by Google search. and have stayed ever since

So YABU!

Goldenbear - I do not think that I am 'important' in the slightest and yes, I have 'meetings' - that's normally what we call it when a number of people arrange to meet in a room to discuss our work.

I have no problem with my children growing up to be individuals, because as far as I'm concerned that means growing up to have respect for other people (by not talking loudly on a train, not harassing others on a train and other behaviour that can irritate people).

superflyhigh just because you do have not seen buggies being pushed out of the way or heard tutting and you don't do it yourself does not mean that it does not happen.

I've got to say that the vast majority of people are pleasant, or at least tolerant, on trains but there are always going to individuals who think that their needs are more of a priority than the rest and make it obvious.

I had to take DS2 on pushchair on train and tube to go toCypriot embassy when he was 5 months old. Was absolutely dreading it... but had so people waving and talking to him, my dad remarked on how many people stopped to talk.
(Did have a bad experience in tube toilets when I unwittingly took him right into mens'...!)
Also took DS1 separately to London when he was 5 and again people stopped to talk to him.
Might have a different opinion if I had to do it every day though and I wouldn't get on a train/carriage unless there was a lot of space, would fold up buggy, would expect other people to be in a rush.

zeezeek there are plenty of those behaviours on a train. From adults. How much harassing do you actually get from loud children?

I am a middle aged harridan who has had/still have children of mine which is precisely the reason I dont want to have to engage with any one else's when I've been looking forward to peace and quiet on a train, or anywhere else. Been there, done it, dont want to do it with yours.

harassment

CoolCadbury - I don't find it any less annoying from adults either. However, that is not what is being discussed in this thread.

I agree Goldenbear

The self importance of some people is really worrying.

Including the OP.

Yes, zeezeek, but you didn't answer my question.

I think there is a big difference between asking for courtesy towards and some tolerance of kids in public places and thinking that you have more rights cos you have kids. I don't think I have more rights cos I have kids but maybe my rant on this didn't give that impression.

I am wondering if an earlier poster was right and a lot of what I have experienced recently was general public transport annoyance (eg yesterday - boarded quite full train in rye where you can't book seAts but we were only on it for 20 mins, saw two seats were free but had bags on - asked couple next to these seats if seats were free and if so could they move bag, they sighed, rolled eyes and then moved bags with a sense of great reluctance). Obviously that could have happened to anyone, kids or not

Quite a lot, actually. Especially when I'm travelling at weekends and school holidays, but often on the rush hour trains as well. I could go on, but would bore all of us.