Holiday en suite

[Charlie97]

Ok, I come from a fairly large family, three siblings (myself included) have all said for years we would like to all go to Scotland together to visit relatives. This was including our spouses, talked about it for ages, no one ever organised it.

I always seem to organise everything but was trying to take a back seat on this one.

Anyhow, OH and I were discussing next years holidays, decided ..... Right we are going to Scotland, on xxxx date and seeing the relatives (they are not getting any younger), so I said I would give DS x 2 the choice if they wish to join us.

So text, hi, we have decided that we are going to go to Scotland, you are more than welcome to join us, we intend to stay XYZ, happy to look for a bigger cottage if you do wish to come.

Both sets want to come, that's lovely.

So I found a cottage that fits the vast majority of spec we want, I've sourced flights and car hire.

The cottage has two bathrooms, one is en suite, I feel that this is our holiday and they were invited to join us, so therefore we get first dibs at the en-suite?

One DS thinks we should draw lots, but I just feel I've done all the leg work and actually made the decision and this should maybe be a bit of a fair enough Charlie, if it wasn't for you we wouldn't be going again next year.

AIBU and horribly entitled?

I accept we will all be paying the same.

Yabu

On what basis?

I'd say YANBU as you did the leg work. I've found getting cottages with all the right spec to take ages. Maybe to keep the peace you should pay 40% of the cost with your siblings each paying 30% since you are having slightly better facilities.

You're going away with your two sons and their wives?

If my brother and I were going away with our parents then we would let them have the en-suite room, no questions asked. It's just respectful IMO to let the older parents (no offence!) have the ensuite.

YANBU at all.

That's how it goes for us when we holiday with PIL. MIL always politely offers us the choice but since they've usually organised (and paid for) it they get it and we all use the family bathroom.

Having arranged everything, I would want the en suite, but I would accept that I would probably be paying more.

I would perhaps think that we should pay the price that we would have originally paid (if just for us) and that my siblings would split the difference (incurred from renting a larger place) between them.
So, for example, if the original cottage was for two people and cost £300 per week and the larger cottage was for six people costing £700 per week, I would have probably just charged my siblings the difference (£400) between them (so £200 each).

If, in your case Charlie, you are dividing the cost equally between you, I think you should draw lots for the en suite.

No it's sisters did I use the wrong thingy?

And totally agree with the respect aspect, they'd have it even if we were splitting the bill.

Your ds wants to draw lots?

I read DS x 2 and assumed you means your sons, sorry.

If this is your siblings then I think you should draw lots. It's not worth the fallout.

I think Op is going away with her sisters and their husbands, oneplusoneplustwo, not with her sons.

crosspost

YANBU, all other things being equal the person who has taken the time and effort to invite others, source accommodation and generally organise the holiday should have first dibs on the room.

Unless anyone gas a medical reason for benefitting from the ensuite you should draw lots. Or find accommodation with a bathroom each.

Sorry missed posts, your dsis
Yanbu
I understand your position completely , you're right

Or Lisz they could source accommodation with three bathrooms?

Is there a possibility of finding alternative accommodation which is all en-suite? Perhaps not usual, but not too hard to find.

Or perhaps a group of self-catering lodges ... three 2 person lodges within a step of each other. Such groups and complexes are very usual in Scotland. I should think every tourist-orientated village is surrounded by the things.

If you're set on the place you've chosen, I would pay a little more for the en-suite room.

I think the person doing the organising gets first dibs & then the others draw lots. That said, it's not really worth the fall out though so guess it's up to you what you want to do given it sounds like it could cause bad feeling.

The thing is the cottage fits 98% of the requirements and I've looked for three bath places but none are suitable. One of the requirements is a big kitchen and dining area so that we can eat together i comfort, so desperate accommodation would not work.

Is it worth the row?

For a couple of nights, I'd just draw lots. BUT I would say that the people with the en suite have to pay £50 more - and be willing to pay it yourself if you draw the en suite.

I know you have done the booking, and yes if I was them I would give you the en suite, but if they are being stroppy you (all of you) are in danger of ruining they holiday before you even get there.

And as an aside, if you are arguing about this, how will you divide up food, drink, cleaning, everything else?

We're not arguing! It's a discussion not an argument! We will decide food, drink etc three ways!

YANBU - we go away as a group every year and the couple that did the leg work always get the best bedroom (and for no additonal cost to them)

Separate not desperate!!!!

You should get the en-suite. You put the leg work in, you contacted them, you, you, you. Your reward is the en-suite!