Holiday en suite

[Charlie97]

Ok, I come from a fairly large family, three siblings (myself included) have all said for years we would like to all go to Scotland together to visit relatives. This was including our spouses, talked about it for ages, no one ever organised it.

I always seem to organise everything but was trying to take a back seat on this one.

Anyhow, OH and I were discussing next years holidays, decided ..... Right we are going to Scotland, on xxxx date and seeing the relatives (they are not getting any younger), so I said I would give DS x 2 the choice if they wish to join us.

So text, hi, we have decided that we are going to go to Scotland, you are more than welcome to join us, we intend to stay XYZ, happy to look for a bigger cottage if you do wish to come.

Both sets want to come, that's lovely.

So I found a cottage that fits the vast majority of spec we want, I've sourced flights and car hire.

The cottage has two bathrooms, one is en suite, I feel that this is our holiday and they were invited to join us, so therefore we get first dibs at the en-suite?

One DS thinks we should draw lots, but I just feel I've done all the leg work and actually made the decision and this should maybe be a bit of a fair enough Charlie, if it wasn't for you we wouldn't be going again next year.

AIBU and horribly entitled?

I accept we will all be paying the same.

Organising things for more than one person is a massive ballache, so organiser gets first refusal on rooms afaik.

Augusta - can you make sure that the keys don't get released to anyone but you? I've not had a lot of experience but the few times I've booked a home as opposed to a hotel, then my name has been on the booking and therefore I'm the 'responsible' one.

Augusta, I think you need to say something to new family as they probably have no idea there is an 'unspoken agreement' that organisers take best rooms. Until this thread I had never heard of organiser getting best room on a group holiday. I also think it's really bad manners of the family to take the best rooms just because they arrived first! Wouldn't most people be too embarassed to bag best room? It's bad form and looks very self-centred.

On other hand, when everyone pays the same amount it's difficult to justify why one should have best room. Organising can be hard work but I do it because I enjoy it and I'm good at finding places to meet everyone's requirements. As its a voluntary role, I don't expect anything in return other than a bit of appreciation and a lovely holiday with friends/family. Sometimes people buy me a drink or meal to say thanks, but I'd never expect it, and I don't feel I have any more say over rooms than anyone else. As organiser you already have more say than others over the places you shortlist and the dates you put forward. Eg having plenty of bathrooms is priority to me (and to many others on our trips) so I make sure I don't shortlist places unless they have several bathrooms. Ideally we get a place where all or most rooms are ensuite, but sometimes this isn't possible so we make sure there are plenty of shared bathrooms instead. Sometimes people ask me for an ensuite for personal reasons that they don't want anyone else to know about eg they have IBS or bladder-continence problems. Last year one of my friends was newly pregnant but didn't want anyone else to know. She wanted an ensuite as she felt sick a lot and needed to wee several times a night. So sometimes there is hidden reason for bathroom access that only organiser knows about. As there weren't enough ensuites for everyone that trip, I asked people to pay slightly bigger percentage of accommodation costs to reserve ensuites. When I arrived (with keys) I put up a list of names of those who had reserved ensuites to prevent others taking those rooms.

I assume everyone shares jobs and responsibilities on your trips? Or does one person organize everything, from days out to car hire?

Someone in your group may have told new family it's 'first come first serve' with rooms. I recommend you get someone else to drop a hint to the family about the best room always going to organiser. If you tell them yourself you risk looking a bit petty and mean. And if you always take best room every year I expect some people in group secretly resent this (regardless of how much work goes into organising). Have you tried to handover organisation to someone else? When planning big group trips I often delegate specific roles to other members of group so it doesn't all fall to me.

YANBU - but my siblings would insist I had the ensuite in that scenario.
I would also be equally happy with the central bathroom so I don't need to hear DH weeing in the night as I don't think ensuites are all they are cracked up to be actually.

An en suite is essential to me. I would not consider a holiday to a place without one.
If it was just me and dh it would not matter, but in a group it would be considered as essential, as would wifi

I once shared bathroom facilities with some one who could spend over an hour in the loo, never ever again

Organiser gets best room. Yanbu

Caspian, So if Charlie said "Ok I found a great place and as I did the legwork I get the en-suite after all I'm paying ???% extra of the rental, but if anyone would like the en-suite are you prepared to pay the extra?". I don't think that many would be will to stump up the extra.

Steam, you'd be surprised how many people are prepared to pay extra for an ensuite. On trips I organize they get reserved really quickly. There's far more legwork to a group holiday that the initial research and booking. I think it sounds really childish and selfish to say 'I did the legwork therefore I get the ensuite'. I would be shocked if one of my friends said this.

Depends on who was going whether I'd want an en suite, but I'd certainly prefer one.
However if I'm doing the leg work and one was available, it would be mine, no questions. If the people that were part of the group didn't like it, they'd be free to sort out their own accommodation, obviously after a discussion.
However that hasn't arise yet