To think the term SAHM does not cut it

[anothernumberone]

My mother would describe herself as a housewife. She gave up a teaching job to stay at home with her family while my father brought home the income. She did the vast majority of the child rearing and also the vast majority of household chores laundry, (a lot we were a big family) cooking, cleaning. Every week however she had a 'list' of things my father had to do for the weekend which kept him busy but these almost exclusively included maintenance and decorating the house. When we left home and the SAHM aspect of the role ended she continued the role as the housewife. When my father retired he took over a lot of the internal domestic chores like hoovering, washing floors, windows (things that rarely happen in my home) and she did her share. I would say 50/50. So she could probably now be described as a retired housewife if you asked her. The reason for this thread is that I think housewife is an ourdated term that describes your role in terms of your husband but I just don't think SAHM describes fairly what most parents who stay at home actually do. AIBU and if not what is a better term? If Mumsnet can invent terms like naice ham then this would be a doddle.

I like SAHM, I'm at home to look after the kids not to do the housework. I still expect DH to do 50% of the chores even though I'm at home because looking after 3DCs is a full time job. He did 50% when I worked and carries on now, thats the difference between now and the 1950s.

I like SAHM too. I stay at home rather than go out to work, with the aim of looking after our children. I am not at home to take full responsibility of housework.

Staying at home to keep The house when you don't have children is just unemployed isn't it? Why does it need its own name?

Why does it need a daft title? If you are a parent you are a mum or dad regardless of work status. Therefore surely you are either employed or unemployed, no need to complicate things.

Lady of Leisure?

Kept Woman?

I'd prefer housewife, or similar, now my dc are teenagers. SAHM is clearly not appropriate. I find it hard to answer the "and what do you do?" succinctly, when - frequently it seems - I'm asked.

I use the phrase lady of leisure

Unemployed means you are actively seeking paid employment Feckeggblue. Not appropriate for those who aren't.

I find it hard to answer the "and what do you do?"

'Whatever I please, mostly'

I like TryHarder's contribution the best :-)

Alright, jobless

I tend to tell people I am a Feckless layabout.
Not too are from the truth tbh..

I don't like SAHM. It's just another stupid label and so is housewife.

Well, your mother exactly describes me anothernumberone. I don't think of myself as a housewife - even to me that term sounds out-dated. On MN, I use the term SAHM but only because it is the term used here to describe women like me with children who do not do paid employment. In real life, I don't often get asked. I guess I just say 'I don't have a job'.

I would love for there to be a non-judgemental, affirming title for what I do. Homemaker is impossibly twee.

If people currently ask me what I 'do' I say I am a mum.

I'm not at the point where my DS is in school or nursery but at that point I think I will use Ifyoureawizard's answer!

I've given it 2 seconds of thought. I am going to go for 'Family Enabler' because, unlike some here, I do do all the housework and deliberately so. It seems unkind to expect my dh to work the hours he does and then come home and do the hoovering, and my children are too old for me to legitimately say they take up much of my time. Instead, I do all that needs doing so dh can go on business trips whenever needed without having to worry about childcare and dc can rely on a nutritious warm meal so they can concentrate on their studies (as if!)

I say I'm retired which is technically correct as I have a miserly works pension.

Why does it need another title?

Who is it that you need to big up the role of SAHM to?

I think serf would be the most accurate term for what I do.

I do a lot of manual labour, I don't get directly paid (access to joint account though), and I do a lot of stuff for those who think their better than me, the DC.

There is seldom a serf tickbox on forms so sahp will have to do.

My answer is 'Just Hang around'
Agreed tho, looking for a stylier brand.

It's Chief Cook and Bottle Washer isn't it?

I just hate the whole full time mummy thing on fb. All parents are full time parents. My friends mum calls herself a sahm despite all kids being over the age of 23

If there are no children at home and you never intend to seek paid work then it's early retirement surely?

I'm a sahm. I do absolutely everything, including all jobs that used to be considered "man jobs" like house maintenance, cutting grass, getting car fixed etc. There are no jobs which are assigned to DH because he works very, very long hours. We operate things like lie ins on a most needed basis - the most knackered person gets the lie in. Sometimes he will do a home task if he has time. Likewise, I will help him with his work if I have time (I used to work in similar field).