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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this is not appropriate for the office?

234 replies

chickentonightx · 01/04/2015 21:47

One of my team wore a dress similar to this today:

www.asos.com/ASOS-Petite/ASOS-PETITE-Long-Sleeve-Bodycon-Rib-Mini-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=4948857&cid=8799&Rf989=5011&Rf981=3677&Rf1012=4458&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=204&sort=-1&clr=Black&totalstyles=187&gridsize=3

AIBU to think it's not appropriate for the office? I didn't say anything as we don't have a formal dress code and didn't know if I was just being a jealous old fart (she's 10 years younger than me and looked very good in it)

OP posts:
Ketchuphidestheburntbits · 02/04/2015 19:12

I think the dress is a teeny bit short but the dress is fine if:

1 she is wearing underwear that covers her bits

2 she doesn't sit with her legs spread wide apart

3 she spends most of the day sitting behind a desk i.e. Doesn't need to bend down or stretch up regularly to retrieve files from a shelf or walk up and down stairs

PilchardPrincess · 02/04/2015 19:19

Wow that escalated!

That dress would be fine for my office.

I agree with Tondelayo on the whole.

And sure there are conversations around patriarchy / different styles and standards of dress for men and women and etc and blah but that is about society as a whole. What women choose to do as individuals, well, that's a different conversation entirely and I say that dress looks fine and would not cause a raised eyebrow where I work (which, bizarrely, is not some kind of trendy media place or something but the fusty old financial services sector Grin).

GraysAnalogy · 02/04/2015 19:21

Well women would be able to wear what they want if other women weren't so bloody adamant to pass judgment and frown upon it.

Janethegirl · 02/04/2015 19:25

I can't see anything wrong with the dress. Seen much more inappropriate clothing worn at work and no one bats an eyelid. And we do have a dress code.....that dress would pass easily!

SaltySeaBird · 02/04/2015 19:26

I'd wear it to work if I had the figure for it.

expatinscotland · 02/04/2015 19:26

With bare legs, inappropriate, IMO.

GraysAnalogy · 02/04/2015 19:32

It's sad that bare legs is inappropriate, I know it is and I'd be shocked to see it myself but it's not good that we're conditioned to find human legs 'unprofessional' or what have you.

VolumniaDedlock · 02/04/2015 19:34

I've seen worse
I think with opaques and brogues would be ok on the young and thin.

PilchardPrincess · 02/04/2015 19:37

I don't understand the bare legs thing.

I don't think anyone in my family or at school or anything ever said anything about it. So, like, I have a sense of what items of clothing might be deemed inappropriate - like the OP I don't agree with her but I understand that the shortness is the thing - but the bare legs thing isn't on my radar at all. I've never had a job where it was a thing either.

Can anyone explain? Or won't I get it if I haven't been brought up with it IYSWIM. So like cleavage - yes I get that - I understand from since I was a child from comments and stuff what is / isn't deemed "too much" and in what circs and so on. But legs? Don't get it. Is it like bare legs is the same as showing lots of cleavage?

Not taking the piss here this is genuine! I see it on MN sometimes and always just don't understand.

Nydj · 02/04/2015 19:46

PilchardPrincess I don't get the bare legs thing either and like you, it's not something that I grew up around. I hope someone does explain it!

Totality22 · 02/04/2015 19:47

It wouldn't work in my office but that's more down to the type of office it it... Put it like this I am the one of the youngest (and I am 35!!!) and it's mainly IT people make of that what you will

Unless someone has client meetings then my office is very casual and it's practically unheard of for any of the women to be wearing a dress - let alone a mini dress.

In a younger, trendier, more "hip" office I am sure it would be fine.

PilchardPrincess · 02/04/2015 19:49

Oh glad it's not just me!

I see it on here sometimes like it's a known, standard thing but I don't know it so am always a bit foxed.

Maybe it's because if you don't have tights on there is less barriers between the outside world and what's in your knickers? Or is it to do with the actual legs? We'll have to cross our fingers! I'd love to know.

I wonder if it's different in different parts of the country. Or something.

limitedperiodonly · 02/04/2015 19:51

A very long time ago I had a very different daytime and night time wardrobe.

That dress would have been in the twilight zone.

You are a long time old and saggy OP.

And then you die.

Get over it.

TheChandler · 02/04/2015 20:29

I think its fine; mind you I work in an office where model types wear all sorts ranging from leather trousers to mini skirts and still manage to look smart and professional. As long as it isn't scruffy. There isn't really an objection to being fashionable combined with smart in an office, as long as it isn't purely night club wear. I'd say it was quite sober, apart from the length, but it isn't that short.

BoobooChild · 02/04/2015 21:00

I want to buy that dress now... I like black. And I'd wear it to work. Though I'd wear it with tights and I'd wear flat shoes because I don't do heels.

BoobooChild · 02/04/2015 21:02

I'd wear tights because with bare legs Id worry about walking up an escalator and having people behind see my arse.

JulyKit · 02/04/2015 21:07

Me too, Booboo.
Fab little dress, would have worn it 10, 20 years ago and now sorely tempted to snap one up again.
It'll go lovely with my black Wolfords and ankle boots.

Definitely one for the office - versatile, though.

Thanks, OP!

inlectorecumbit · 02/04/2015 21:15

YABU it's lovely

ManAliveThisThingsFantastic · 03/04/2015 09:06

I have just bought it for work Blush

JiltedJohnsJulie · 03/04/2015 09:11

Grin at Manalive

MamaLazarou · 03/04/2015 09:19

It's a lovely dress. I have something similar that I often wear to work.

YABU.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 03/04/2015 09:56

www.yale.edu/minddevlab/papers/body.pdf

There was a link to this research in a Telegraph article. The research found that if you have more flesh on display you tended to be viewed as more emotional and less capable. So wearing that dress with opaque tights might create a different impression to bare legs.

jessiejingles · 25/04/2015 02:48

I love it! It's cheap as well.. I might get one for myself come payday! Grin

nooka · 25/04/2015 03:18

Although I like that dress and would think about wearing something like that for a party I'm not sure that short of a mini skirt is ever appropriate at work. With leggings or thick tights then it would be fine, as you'd get more of a tunic type effect.

The bare legs issue is I think two fold, first that if the person bent over for any reason, or if you were following them upstairs perhaps the dress would pull up very short, showing upper thighs, generally an area considered fairly intimate, only on view in the bedroom or at the beach. Second it's the contrast (assuming pale skin) so the very dark dress brings the legs to the viewer's attention. Long bare legs are sexy, and sexy isn't generally appropriate for the office. This is after all part of the point of the dress's design.

I also agree that how you present yourself at work does affect how you are perceived, if you want to be taken seriously dressing as a sex kitten may not be the best approach.

GoddessWhoWalksEarthAsWoman · 25/04/2015 08:29

Hmmm... Time to get back to work now.
.

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