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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this is not appropriate for the office?

234 replies

chickentonightx · 01/04/2015 21:47

One of my team wore a dress similar to this today:

www.asos.com/ASOS-Petite/ASOS-PETITE-Long-Sleeve-Bodycon-Rib-Mini-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=4948857&cid=8799&Rf989=5011&Rf981=3677&Rf1012=4458&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=204&sort=-1&clr=Black&totalstyles=187&gridsize=3

AIBU to think it's not appropriate for the office? I didn't say anything as we don't have a formal dress code and didn't know if I was just being a jealous old fart (she's 10 years younger than me and looked very good in it)

OP posts:
MrsBungle · 01/04/2015 23:01

It's a lovely dress. Would be completely inappropriate in my office though.

QueenBean · 01/04/2015 23:02

usually more expensive and less practical than most male office wear

Sorry that is totally untrue - men have to wear suits, shirts and ties only, they have no flexibility or choice, no change depending on season

Women definitely have the upper hand on office wear choice!

I really don't understand the paragraph about having pressures put on us about the types of clothes we can buy, why, where from, how much - could you explain what you mean please? I've never felt pressure to look a certain way, apart from in the work environment (unless you mean all fashion decisions are actually unconscious?)

Evelight · 01/04/2015 23:03

I think I've worn similar length things with leggings or thick tights. I don't think it was inappropriate.

LaurieFairyCake · 01/04/2015 23:07

so stop telling other women what they should or shouldn't wear

I'm not the OP Confused

I don't and never have told anyone what they shouldn't wear Confused

I think that a lot of our choices are foisted upon us and very little choice is actually available. And that conforming to what society thinks we should wear is markedly different than what we might wear if we had a totally free choice.

That's nothing like me telling anyone what to wear.

mandy214 · 01/04/2015 23:09

Law firm. Would be inappropriate. And yes, friend in a different law firm was given a warning at her appraisal for going bare legged (even in the height of summer). Dress code still lagging behind other professions!

notquiteruralbliss · 01/04/2015 23:17

Would be fine in my office. Esp with opaque tights etc.

WorraLiberty · 01/04/2015 23:20

To be fair though Laurie your choice of words on this thread has made you come across as a bit misogynistic.

'Strippers shoes' 'lady of the night' (joking or not), the post that appeared to blame victims of sexual assault and the inference that intelligent women don't actually have a free choice when it comes to what they wear.

Men wear trousers suits in offices, so do many women but some women choose to wear dresses like the one in the OP sometimes too, without the choice being 'foisted upon them'.

TinLizzie · 01/04/2015 23:21

YABU. For God's sake HOW DARE SHE?! She's young? Pretty? Has a good figure?

That doesn't last forever and if I'd realised that in my 20s/30s, before I started spreading (a bit!) then I'd have been wearing THAT!

Oh, ok. Maybe I did - once or twice. But only when I was ... you know.... trying ...

Maybe the question is: why is this bothering you enough to post about it?

TinLizzie · 01/04/2015 23:23

Ouch. Choice words..."spreading (a bit)". Cringe.

Arse. I mean my arse got bigger. K?

anothernumberone · 01/04/2015 23:24

Tin Lizzie we gotchaGrin

Fromparistoberlin73 · 01/04/2015 23:25

Yabu

It's hardly a red lace catsuit !!

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 01/04/2015 23:26

Queen Bean
I didn't say anything about flexibility or choice. I said that men's office wear tended to be cheaper and more practical. Mainly because men wear fewer different outfits, repeat-wear trousers and suits through the week and also men's office wear tends to fit a standard template - trousers, shirt, tie, suit so easier to co-ordinate and replace items. Suits can last for years. Obviously men's standard footwear is more practical than women's.

I didn't explain my point very well (BF a sick baby at the time) but in this specific context I meant that unless you have the money, time and skills to source ethical materials and design outfits that are non-patriarchally influenced, it's really fucking hard for women to find clothes that are affordable, practical, fit properly, suit a number of situations, make them feel attractive (where appropriate) and suit their work / lifestyle. Trying to buy clothes that haven't been designed or created by EVUL PATRIARCHAL SWEATSHOP OVERLORDS (TM) is close to impossible.

Laurie - you said I don't think they should be worn because it's all about legs on display - rather contradicts the 'women should wear anything' point.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 01/04/2015 23:29

"women should wear what they like"

UAprilFool · 01/04/2015 23:38

That dress could look perfectly fine but it might not. Depends on a lot of things.

I don't think men or women should look too casual in certain jobs. I don't, for example, think it appropriate to see a blokes bum cheeks or too much of a womans cleavage (or the other way around Wink ) when I'm in the bank or the supermarket.

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 01/04/2015 23:44

I think I have it easier than the men in my office, they have to iron shirts, I wear non iron trousers and tops. Cheap,doesn't restrict my movement, lasts years and doesn't need ironing. I don't think women have it so tough!

Sparklepup · 01/04/2015 23:48

Yabu - I was expecting something backless / strapless / see through ! Only wish I could wear something like that ! Envy

Patsyandeddie · 01/04/2015 23:51

If she is young and has the figure why not? Looks far more appropriate than lots of things I have seen in the office. How old are you, what's all this about knee length?

justonemoretime2p · 01/04/2015 23:52

Why is it any of your business?

AdeleDazeem · 01/04/2015 23:52

It's not low cut, has full length sleeves, I don't think it looks inappropriate. Certainly not on the model in that pic. Unless on the lady at work it's really tight or short then I don't see the problem.

ResurrectAndEatShitChoc · 01/04/2015 23:54

Haven't read the thread but thanks I love that dress!

Bookmarked so can treat myself.

Nothing wrong with it in my opinion. But searching for it is a bit weird

Latara · 02/04/2015 00:27

That dress sticks to the rules eg. legs out therefore other skin hidden (it's got a high neck & long sleeves.

It's a very smart dress, not particularly casual and you say there's no dress code in the office.

Personally I'd wear it with opaque tights, black knee high boots & a little cardi, and I'm 38 (and a size 14).

I think you may be a tad envious of your younger colleague... instead of being envious why not shake up the way you look so someone can be envious of you.

I work with some very young gorgeous student nurses, doctors & physios so I make sure my make up, earrings & hair is nice (I'm a bit restricted in an HCA uniform!).

Latara · 02/04/2015 00:32

Now after I looked at that link I am getting an ASOS advert at the top of the Mumsnet page showing several LBDs! Am getting the feeling I want to go shopping!!

shadowfax07 · 02/04/2015 00:58

Did no-one else see the dress and think 'Robert Palmer, Addicted to Love' video? Without the red lippy?

Just me then . As you were Grin

tartyflette · 02/04/2015 01:10

i remember the -hot-- Robert Palmer vid. The dress is fine. OTOH, the Boden skater dress another poster linked to upthread is a real horror.

Kampeki · 02/04/2015 01:31

It's a lovely dress, but it would be considered inappropriate in my office.

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