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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this is not appropriate for the office?

234 replies

chickentonightx · 01/04/2015 21:47

One of my team wore a dress similar to this today:

www.asos.com/ASOS-Petite/ASOS-PETITE-Long-Sleeve-Bodycon-Rib-Mini-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=4948857&cid=8799&Rf989=5011&Rf981=3677&Rf1012=4458&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=204&sort=-1&clr=Black&totalstyles=187&gridsize=3

AIBU to think it's not appropriate for the office? I didn't say anything as we don't have a formal dress code and didn't know if I was just being a jealous old fart (she's 10 years younger than me and looked very good in it)

OP posts:
anothernumberone · 01/04/2015 22:40

Laurie I totally get and agree with your general sentiment but you must admit your last sentence was at best clumsily worded but in reality really insppropriate.

msgrinch · 01/04/2015 22:40

Well I like the clothing that shows my shape off, a bit of cleavage here and there etc. because I like it. not because I'm conditioned to or a "lady of the night". No just because it looks good on me.

LaurieFairyCake · 01/04/2015 22:40

I will hide this now and bugger off back to another topic Grin

Not really getting my perfectly standard point across

Passmethecrisps · 01/04/2015 22:40

It isn't too simple.

A grown woman can choose what she wants to wear. That choice doesn't get smudged or lessened if it doesn't match what you would prefer she wore.

WorraLiberty · 01/04/2015 22:40

Women can and do choose a whole varied range of clothing though.

Just because they might want to wear platform shoes and short dresses sometimes, doesn't mean they don't wear trousers/joggers/whatever at other times.

It's called freedom to choose.

BuggersMuddle · 01/04/2015 22:41

Bit short, but probably okay with opaque tights and fairly sensible shoes. I probably wouldn't wear think it was appropriate for me, but I couldn't get to bothered about someone else wearing it.

We have a casual office and I've seen stuff that's a hell of a lot more inappropriate than that dress. (Like what possessed a middle-aged, middle manager to think hot pants and crocheted tights with knee high boots was appropriate work wear? And then there's some of the stuff you see on dress down Friday...)

msgrinch · 01/04/2015 22:42

No. You made your "point" people disagreed with you and you don't like it. Fair enough.

Pantygirdl · 01/04/2015 22:42

Another who thinks it's too short here. You should not be in danger of flashing your foof in an office environment. Very unprofessional.

anothernumberone · 01/04/2015 22:43

Passmethecrisps do you believe that some women's choices are made on the basis of influences from a patriachal society or is patriarchy just a complete illusion.

avocadotoast · 01/04/2015 22:43

Eh, I wouldn't wear it myself, but I don't think it's overly inappropriate.

I work in an office with a fairly relaxed dress code. We used to have someone who wore tiny tiny clothes every day. Like, arse-skimming skirts paired with sheer crop tops. That was inappropriate. This, not so much.

SinglePringle · 01/04/2015 22:44

But we're not talking about stripper shoes - they are a clear and direct reference to porn / stripping. We're discussing a dress that is not pornographic. Sex and porn are not intrinsically linked. One (sex) can exist without the other. Agreed not vice versa but not sex is not bad. Neither is being sexy. Why, I manage to be sexy AND manage multi million pound budgets. Seem to get pretty darn seriously in my work place.

Yes, the dress fitted but so what? People have always worn clothes that accentuated the physical - after all, what was the bustle if not Kim Kardashian in another era?!

BigPawsBrown · 01/04/2015 22:44

Hmm that is a petite dress so it's bound to be really short on a 5'10" model. That said I wouldn't wear that to the office, but eyebrows are raised if you're not in a black suit in my office.

Woozlebear · 01/04/2015 22:45

I work for a city law firm - so obv very smart dress code- and see this sort of thing every day! More among the support staff than lawyers, but nonetheless...someone in our account dept was wearing leather shorts with opaque tights last week!

Passmethecrisps · 01/04/2015 22:48

No. Not an illusion another. Not at all.

I just find it frustrating that women are, I suppose, Damned if they do and Damned if they don't

BigPawsBrown · 01/04/2015 22:49

Woozlebear, me too!

CrystalSkull · 01/04/2015 22:50

I'm probably a similar age to the dress-wearer and think it's totally inappropriate - way too short (and will only get shorter over time, as it's washed). I will say though that its shortness may be more 'obvious' on some figures than others...

QueenBean · 01/04/2015 22:51

Snowberry I was just coming on here to say that!

NOOOOOOO!!

CrispyFern · 01/04/2015 22:52

That's just the sort of thing I wore to work, I have dresses like that in purple, black, blue and dark green! I used to wear them with bare legs and flats in summer, leggings and boots in winter.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 01/04/2015 22:54

Laurie, we understand what you mean about living in a patriarchal society. Firstly the same patriarchy that influences what you see as 'sexualised' fashion also gives us 'office dress codes' and 'appropriate workwear' - which is also either sexualised in it's own way, restricts movement, is usually more expensive and less practical than most male office wear. Pencil skirts, skirt suits, court shoes, dresses, accessories, handbags, dry cleaning bills, slacks which need ironing... and so on.

A fitted lycra dress is machine washable, doesn't need ironing, is easy to move in and non-restrictive.

Secondly, we all live in a patriarchal society which puts enormous pressure on us - we have limits to the clothes we can buy, where from. how much they cost, how practical they are, how many purposes they serve. Plus we are all human. We are all affected by this and being a feminist doesn't make you exempt from those pressures. So stop telling other women what they should and shouldn't wear. Is it kind or helpful? No. Its just another way of blaming women.

WorraLiberty · 01/04/2015 22:54

I do honestly think though that when some people over think things and go on about societal conditioning and the patriarchy etc, they're forgetting that some people simply find fashion fun.

I don't particularly, as I've got older.

Clean and not in need of an iron is good enough for me Grin

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 01/04/2015 22:57

I find fashion fun and interesting Worra.

anothernumberone · 01/04/2015 22:57

Yep passmethechips that is frustrating but I do not understand how encouraging women to dress to appeal to the wants of a patriarchal society makes things remotely better. Yes if you work in high fashion and people adore the colour, cut, bias of your chosen attire, or something of that Ilk.

Jackie0 · 01/04/2015 22:57

This exact same dress just popped up as an ad on my fb, what kind of black magic was that ? On a different device ?!?!?

TheWhiteRoad · 01/04/2015 22:59

Hear hear Tondelayo

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 01/04/2015 22:59

Cookie data Jackie

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