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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this is not appropriate for the office?

234 replies

chickentonightx · 01/04/2015 21:47

One of my team wore a dress similar to this today:

www.asos.com/ASOS-Petite/ASOS-PETITE-Long-Sleeve-Bodycon-Rib-Mini-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=4948857&cid=8799&Rf989=5011&Rf981=3677&Rf1012=4458&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=204&sort=-1&clr=Black&totalstyles=187&gridsize=3

AIBU to think it's not appropriate for the office? I didn't say anything as we don't have a formal dress code and didn't know if I was just being a jealous old fart (she's 10 years younger than me and looked very good in it)

OP posts:
msgrinch · 01/04/2015 22:28

woah x post. sexual assault, short dresses in the same sentence are you for real. How dare you. Feminist my arse.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 01/04/2015 22:28

Depends on the office. If memory serves then a hemline anything more than one inch above the knee when sitting down is inappropriate work attire where I work. Yawn.

Each to their own. If she spent the day self consciously tugging it down and unable to bend over I doubt you'll see it again.

frankie80 · 01/04/2015 22:29

I have a colleague like this. Every outfit is like "ooooh look how skinny and sexy I think I am"

She wears a different outfit every day - literally. You'd think she earned a lot to afford all that (she doesn't)

She wears crop tops that expose her mid riff, see through sheer black tops with coloured bras, very very high heels

LaurieFairyCake · 01/04/2015 22:30

Then I suggest you read my whole post

It's lazy thinking to ignore all the fashion designed by patriarchy and worn by women to display us sexually and assume that's sexual liberation just because they 'chose' to wear it.

It's not a 'choice'. It's a decision forced on us by patriarchy

Stop ignoring that I said women should be able to wear what they like

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 01/04/2015 22:30

I'm wondering about these offices where so much bending over goes on...

WorraLiberty · 01/04/2015 22:30

But I don't think they should be worn because it's all about legs on display and it's bloody hard to be taken seriously when you wear clothes like that in a society like this with so many sexual assaults on women

Ok, was this ^^ also a joke?

Because unless I've misinterpreted it (and I'm willing to be told I have), it pretty much looks like you're blaming sexual assaults on women wearing short dresses?

Passmethecrisps · 01/04/2015 22:31

So a woman might think she is choosing to wear a short skirt because she likes it and it makes her feel good but actually she is being fooled into it by the patriarchy so she must only ever wear dungarees?

msgrinch · 01/04/2015 22:32

I've read it the same as you worra and reported as it's disgusting.

SinglePringle · 01/04/2015 22:32

But is not 'women should be able to wear what they like'. It's 'women can wear what they like'.

Had a long reply to Laurie's post but lost it and others also made the point that for a feminist, that post look remarkably like victim blaming.

LaurieFairyCake · 01/04/2015 22:32

No and I would be grateful if you would read my whole post and subsequent posts in context

And not ignore that I said women should be able to wear what they like

Passmethecrisps · 01/04/2015 22:32

I wondered the same tondelayo

anothernumberone · 01/04/2015 22:33

I think it is fine to have dress codes in work environments that give a message to others about the culture, ethos and values of the organisation. I don't think that is pearl clutching. Many are pointing out that different industries have different expectations and that is fine too. these expectations are ofren much more stringent for men in the work environment in my experience.

msgrinch · 01/04/2015 22:34

We've read your whole post. That's the problem.

Passmethecrisps · 01/04/2015 22:34

Women should

Women can.

Women can wear what they like when other women mind their own business and don't force their own ideologies on others

DejaVuAllOverAgain · 01/04/2015 22:34

I could wear that if I wore it with leggings. I suspect I'd raise a few eyebrows if I wore it with bare legs. Then again I don't work in an office.

BestZebbie · 01/04/2015 22:35

I would only have chosen to wear that to work myself if it was closer to knee-length and I was wearing opaque tights with it, but I don't think it is actually inappropriate unless it was stopping her doing some physical parts of her job or she was actually flashing her knickers whilst doing some parts of her job.
But, is it the bodycon-ness that you don't like, or the length - this one is very 'safe' for work in my opinion and has a similar coverage (maybe a couple of inches longer?) but is a bit less slinky.
www.boden.co.uk/en-GB/Clearance/Womens-Workwear-Range/Dresses/BQ023-BLK/Womens-Black-Ponte-Skater-Dress.html?NavGroupID=175

Koalafications · 01/04/2015 22:35

it's bloody hard to be taken seriously when you wear clothes like that in a society like this with so many sexual assaults on women

What on earth do sexual assaults have to do with it? And why can't a woman be taken seriously in a dress like that?!

WorraLiberty · 01/04/2015 22:36

But you can't chuck around phrases like 'lady of the night' and then go on to appear to blame sexual assaults on women wearing short clothing...and not expect people to get upset.

Simply plonking the words "women should be able to wear what they like", doesn't validate the other stuff you said.

I'm getting confused here.

LaurieFairyCake · 01/04/2015 22:36

Really people?

All those high street shoes modelled on strippers shoes - platforms and see through plastic that hobble women?

Tiny skirts they can't walk in, underwear that's now worn as outerwear?

None of that's because patriarchal society wants us to be sex objects and on display?

And that women, especially Young women, are conned into wearing it as they think it makes them more desirable? More worthwhile?

I've already said women should be able to wear what they want. But choice is an allusion here as so much of fashion that's available borrows from pirnography and striipper fashion.

LaurieFairyCake · 01/04/2015 22:37

pornography obviously.

SinglePringle · 01/04/2015 22:38

Laurie I suggest you look at the original 80's 'body con' designer (and one of the people respnsible for its reemergence) Pam Hogg. Female I belive.

But probably operating within the patriarchal hegemony...

mildlyacquiescent · 01/04/2015 22:38

I think it's an OK dress for the office, and I'd have definitely worn it in my pre-cellulite days.

Of course, if she DOES bend over and you DO see anything at any point, you will be perfectly entitled, nay, obliged to yell "WOMEN'S KNICKERS! A PAIR OF WOMEN'S KNICKERS!" in a Father Jack voice.

Passmethecrisps · 01/04/2015 22:39

So if I wear something you approve of then that is fine and my choice.

But if o wear a short skirt with high heels then that cannot be my choice and therefore not ok

LaurieFairyCake · 01/04/2015 22:39

It's too simple to say women are choosing to wear this.

So little of it is about real choice. Real
choice to be who they actually are and not conform.

Like the absolute hounding Mary Beard got for being a perfectly normal individual who didn't wear make up and grew her hair long and didn't die it.

valrhona · 01/04/2015 22:39

I like the dress and would wear it to work if it were 2" longer and with opaques/flats or tall boots and a good scarf/jewellery

As it stands, no.

(I work in an arty/front of house type setting)